Awake

Blake holds my hips and looks me in the eyes.
We are dancing out in a beautiful meadow.
Stars twinkling above, fireflies a buzz around us.

He presses his lips to mine and hugs me tightly.
I kiss back, my tongue sliding into his mouth without me telling it to.
He unbuttons the back of my dress and traces his fingers down my spine.

The material falls around my ankles and I kick it away, kissing him harder.

What am I doing?

I feel his bare chest against my mine and giggling fills the air.
It's...mine?

He pushes me to the ground and crawls on top me, kissing up my belly to my jaw.

Why am I letting him do this? No! Stop it!

But I don't.
I unbuckle his jeans and push them down along with boxers.

Why am I not stopping him? No! I don't want this!

"I love you" He whispers.

I shoot straight up, breathing heavily.

It was just a dream...

I run a hand through my hair and look at the clock on the wall.

3:30AM.

Sighing, I flop back against my pillows, closing my eyes.
I try to concentrate on sleep.
But that familiar smell fills my nose, almost triggering my gag reflex.

I roll over to my side and cover my nose with a hand, blocking the stench out.

It's been one week since I've been here.
Everyday I go through the same scheduled routine and every night I go to Asher's room or he comes to mine and we talk till 12.

We tell each everything about our lives.
He says as long as we keep our lives outside of this place alive in some form, we can stay awake.

I've decided to trust him.
I can't exactly pin point why, I just do.

*X*

I sit in my room, dinner just ended and Asher should be coming over soon.
I try to plan out some things we can talk about.
In the past 5 days we've spoken about almost everything in our lives.

A soft knock sounds at my door and I jump up, hurrying over and opening it.
Asher ducks inside and I shut and lock the door behind him.

He takes a seat on the foot of my bed and I sit next to him.

An awkward silence befalls us.
It's obvious we are both desperately searching for something to say.

"So"
He starts.

"So?"

He purses his lips and looks at his hands.
"Did you dream anything last night?"

I stiffen, his voice suddenly seems accusatory to me, but I reassure myself it's just my imagination getting to me.

He couldn't possibly know..

"Um, no not really.."
I lie, twiddling my fingers and not meeting his gaze.

"Your lying"
My head jerks up, surprised by his words.

"W-what? No I'm not"
I stutter, blushing.

"Liar!"
He laughs, the sound dancing around us out of place, but still welcome.
"What was it about?"

"Nothing really"
I mumble, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Oh bull crap, tell me, it's not I'm going to tell anyone else, I swear"

I peek up at him through my lashes.
He's right, who would he tell? Everyone else here is dead to the world and we're not going anywhere.

"It's was j-just about a boy I once knew..."

"And? What happened?"

"We were...doing stuff"

He raises his eyebrows and smirks, this is something I've never seen him do.

"What kind of stuff?"
There's a childish, teasing undertone to his voice.

I swallow and look down.
"Just some things...T-touching"

He opens his mouth, but I cut him off ashamed.
"I'd rather not talk about it"
It seems bad enough I could dream such things, much less discuss it.

"Well"
He begins, his smirk gone, just a faded, twinge of a simper in it's place.
"I had a dream last night too, wanna hear it?"

"Do I?"
I question.

He laughs, shaking his head at my remark.
"It's not risqué or anything, don't worry"

I manage a weak chuckle, still a little embarrassed.
"Go on then"

"Well I was walking in this desert, but instead of sand there was pills. Trillion upon trillions. I picked one up and suddenly I was in the ocean, waves crashing down on me every time I tried to get air. I thought I was going to die, but I never quit fighting. Then I woke up.
What do you think it means?"

I shrug.
"Maybe that you shouldn't give up, no matter how much life wants you too"

He smiles a soft smile, reaches over, touching my cheek.
"I don't think as long as I have someone with me, to help me, I will ever give up"

I smile back.

I think bedtime is becoming my favorite time.