God Bless the Broken Road

It was Christmas and I was more depressed than I ever was since my mom passed away. Christmas was my favorite holiday growing up. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, my parents and I would prepare for it. Christmas music could be heard on regular basis in our household the day after Thanksgiving. Next would be the decorations, then my favorite thing, traveling to the Christmas tree farm and chopping down our tree. A week before the twenty-fifth mom and I would stay up late and bake a ton of cookies.

A small smile graced my lips as I took in the batches of cookies I had just finished. It wasn’t the same without hearing my mom’s beautiful voice singing along to the songs playing on the radio. I missed watching my dad chopping wood for the fire in the backyard. I brushed away the tears as they fell and finished cleaning up the kitchen.

When I finished, it was time for the puck to drop for the Hurricanes‘ game. That was another reason why I was so upset, Eric was on a road trip and wouldn’t be back until later tonight. I was just glad he was going to be home in time to open presents on Christmas. I grabbed a couple of cookies and my cup of hot chocolate and settled myself on the couch. Molly joined me and curled up on the opposite end of the couch with a huff. I quickly sent Eric a good luck text. As soon as it sent, my phone chimed with a text of its own. I smiled when I saw it was Jared.

We should be home tonight. Just finished the game, we won! I’ll call you when we land.

I smiled even more, I liked knowing that my boys were coming home and we had three whole days together. Then I was going to Pittsburgh to watch the Penguins play in the Winter Classic against the Washington Capitals, because rumor had it that Jordan was supposed to make is season début in that game. I knew he wanted to play so bad, he’s told me so many times. The sound of the whistle on the television grabbed my attention. The game had begun.

***
It was second intermission and the ‘Canes were winning 2-1, but they weren’t playing very well. I could tell that Eric wasn’t happy with the team’s performance when he gave an interview during intermission. I decided to text him.

Don’t be too hard on them, you guys are doing well.

Molly got up from the couch and went to the door and started growling.

“Molly! What are you doing?” I asked, getting up from the couch and joining her at the door. I ran a hand down her back before picking her up. “You aren’t quite scary yet, babe.” I smiled. Deciding that I should at least check to see what got her attention, I opened the door and screamed.

There were five people standing on the porch with smiles on their faces. Molly did not like the sudden increase of humans in the room. I quickly backed away and they all followed suit.

“What are you guys doing here?!” I asked, trying to keep tears from falling.

Heather stepped forward. “Well since I haven’t seen you since I left the Bay, I just couldn’t wait until you came for the Classic.” She told me, giving me a hug.

Molly growled at the space invasion. “Molly, don’t make me put you in your cage.” I told the puppy as I set her down. I kept an eye on her as she made her rounds around the Staals. “I’ve missed you too Heather. Let me take your coats guys.”

“Nonsense,” Linda said, taking everyone’s coats except for Jared’s. “I’m assuming you have Eric’s game on?” She asked with a smile.

“Of course! The third is just about to start.” I told them. “Go sit everyone, I’ll get some snacks.”

As I made my way to the kitchen, I passed Jared who had changed out his suit and into sweats. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the kitchen with me. We didn’t say anything, he just looked at me.

“Did you know about this?” I asked quietly.

He smiled and nodded. “I saw how sad you were the past couple of weeks. Cellina told Marc that this was your favorite holiday. Plus, I wanted to see my family too.” He chuckled.

I threw my arms around his neck. “Thank you Jared, you didn’t have to do this. I was managing just fine with you and Eric with me. You are the best brother ever, I love you.”

Jared blushed and kissed my cheek. “I love you, too Mackenzie. You’re a great sister too.” He lowered his voice. “Between you and me, I really hope some day I’ll be able to call you my sister.” With that he walked back out to the living room.

What was that about? I wondered as I placed cookies on a plate and some other snack foods. When I got into the living room, the game was back on and everyone was trained on the T.V. I put the cookies on the coffee table and took the empty seat next to Marc, who instantly wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

“How are you holding up?” He whispered, not taking his eyes off the game.

“I’m okay, better now that you guys are all here.” I told him, no point in lying to him.

Marc hugged me again and again I had to fight back tears. I loved this family and they loved me. They treated me like I was their own, even if I wasn’t dating Eric, I knew Henry and Linda and their kids would still be there for me.

“Mackenzie, how have you been?” Linda asked, taking a cookie off the plate. “Oh, my. Did you makes these?”

I nodded with a smile. “This morning, I’ve been baking and wrapping presents all day.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve been good, keeping busy with school and some of the charities that the WAGs precipitate in.”

Heather nodded her head. “They get crazy don’t they? At least with the Penguins wives and girlfriends it is.”

“They can get crazy, but Cody Ward keeps me sane during them.” I chuckled.

Heather laughed too. “Vero for me.” She paused. “You haven’t met Vero yet have you?” I shook my head. “Oh you’ll have to meet her when you come to the game. She’d love you.”

Jordan nodded. “She really would love you. She’s a great judge of character, most of the guys have their girlfriends meet her and if they get along then most of them stay for a while, some even end up being wives.” He smiled.

I just blushed. “So Jordan, what’s the news so far?”

“I’m working hard and things are looking up. We are reaching for my start date to be the Classic at the latest.” He smiled. He was excited to be back in the game. He would have been back sooner, but an accidental broken hand in practice in November prevented that. He was so upset, he called me almost in tears. Heather didn’t know what to do for him either, it was hard.

Everyone’s attention was on the final minutes of the Hurricanes’ game. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Marc yawn and lean his head back on the couch.

I poked him in the stomach. “Why don’t you go to sleep? You can sleep on Jared’s floor.”

“What?” Jared protested.

I gave him a look. “Jared, you can share your room with your brother for two nights. Plus, I don’t think he wants to share the room with Eric and I.” Marc shuddered next to me and I smacked him.

“Mackenzie, we can go to a hotel. We dropped by unannounced. You won’t offend us if you want us gone.” Linda said.

I gave her the same look I gave Jared. “Linda, you guys are not going to a hotel. It’s Christmas and you’re family and family does not let family stay in a hotel for the holidays.” I stated getting up from the couch and got the extra blankets and pillows. When I came back to the living room Linda was standing in the middle of the room with tears in her eyes. “Linda, are you okay?” I asked.

She nodded and looked at me. “I’m fine, I’m just so happy that Eric found you. You are so sweet and I just love you. We all do.” She said giving me a strong hug. “I can’t wait until you are truly a part of this family.”

I stared at her. Why is everyone saying that tonight? First Jared in the kitchen and now Linda. I shook it off and placed the blankets on the couch.

“Linda and Henry, you guys can have the guest room. Heather and Jordan, the pull out couch is yours. Marc you are in Jared’s room. I’m going to head to bed. I’ll see you all in the morning.” I said goodnight to everyone and called Molly to follow me.

As I got ready for bed I replayed what Linda and Jared has said to me. How was it that in a span of an hour two people have said something about being a part of the family? Suddenly my stomach was invaded with butterflies…did they know something that I didn’t know? The sound of my cell phone ringing pulled me out of my thoughts.

I saw that it was Eric. “Hey.” I answered.

“Hey, baby. Thanks for the texts, I really appreciate them.”

“Anytime, you can always count on me to give you outside information.”

He chuckled. “That’s what I like. So how was your night?”

I smiled. “It was good, I got a ton of cookies baked and all the presents wrapped.”

The bedroom door opened and Jordan stuck his head in. “Kenz, I need another pillow, if you have one.”

I nodded and took on of the pillows off the bed and tossed it at him, hitting him square in the face. I busted out laughing.

“Mackenzie, who’s there?” Eric asked, sounding slightly angry.

I giggled. “Oh just my boyfriend. How do you think I stay sane while you’re gone?” Jordan was still standing at the door, a smile on his face.

Eric growled and I giggled again, turning the speaker phone on. “Mackenzie, don’t mess with me. Who’s in the house?”

I sighed. “No one Eric, just Jared and myself” I paused. “And my boyfriend.” Jordan shoved his face in the pillow to keep from being hear. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing again. “Oh yeah, Jordan, Marc, Heather, and your parents are also here.” I smiled.

“What?” He asked confused.

I looked at Jordan. “Dipshit, we are in your house.” Jordan laughed.

“What are you guys doing there?” He asked.

“It’s Christmas?”

“Well then it’s a good thing that we are heading home tonight.”

I squealed. “You’re coming home tonight? What happened to tomorrow afternoon?”

Jordan rolled his eyes and left the room with a roll of his eyes. I flipped him off and shut the door behind him. Eric and I continued to talk until he got to the airport.

“I’ll see you when you get home.” I yawned,

Eric chuckled. “No, you won’t. I have a feeling you will be asleep by then.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, even though he couldn’t see me. “Goodnight, Eric. Have a safe trip and I love you.”

“Love you, too. Night babe.”

Once I hung up with Eric, I crawled into bed and fell asleep with a smile on my face despite the depressed mood I was in earlier. Even though I wasn’t spending Christmas with my parents, I was spending it surrounded by people that loved me.

** Eric’s POV**

I just hung up with Mackenzie, I had called her to see how she was doing because I knew that past couple of weeks have been hard on her and I was worried about her. But now that I knew that my family was there, I could relax some.

“What has you all smiley?” Cam asked, taking his seat next to me on the plane.

“I just spoke to Mackenzie, my parents and brothers are there.”

Cam smiled. “Are you still giving the present to her?”

“I am.”

The plane ride was quiet, I couldn’t wait to crawl into bed with Mackenzie. The team and I have been on a three day road trip and I miss my girlfriend. Once we landed, I said goodbye to the guys and headed out to my three day break with my family. When I finally made it home, I quietly made my way through the living room where Heather and Jordan were sleeping. When I made it to the bedroom, without waking up Mackenzie I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Molly stirred at the foot of the bed and I gave her a pet before climbing into bed with Mackenzie. She stirred slightly and laid her head on my chest. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“How was your flight?” Mackenzie mumbled, snuggling into my side again.

I chuckled. “Later, we’ll talk later. Right now I just want to sleep.”

“Sleep. Sleep sounds good.” Soon light snores could be heard from next to me. I settled into bed more and fell asleep just as easily.



I woke up the following morning to an empty bed and noise coming from every corner of the house. I couldn’t help but smile because this was Christmas in my family.

“Jordan! Get off of me!” I heard Mackenzie yell. I smiled at the sound of her laughter filtering into the room from the living room. It’s a sound that I’ve missed hearing the past couple of weeks. Mackenzie has changed, it hasn’t been a drastic change, but a change none the less. Ever since her parents passed away she’s been quite and shutting herself down. It hurt to watch her suffer like she has been. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost and worried about the girl I loved.

With a sigh I rolled out of bed and went to join my family in the living room. When I walked into the room, I saw Jordan sitting on top of Mackenzie and Marc was tickling her causing her to laugh. I smiled at the sight, I’ve missed this Mackenzie. I leaned against the wall and just watched.

“Are you really just standing there and watching your brothers torment her?” Heather asked, coming up next to me with a cup of coffee in both hands.

I nodded as she handed me one of them. “Of course I am.” I looked from my brother’s girlfriend to my own, back to Heather. “Heather,” I said quietly. “You don’t understand, this isn’t the same Mackenzie I’ve been living with the past couple of weeks. This is the Mackenzie we all fell in love with back in June.” I took a sip of my coffee and let out a deep breath before continuing. “The loss of her parents really has taken a toll on her. I’ve been so worried about her, I still am. I don’t want to see her hurting again.”

Heather placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You love her, it’s only normal if you worry about her. She’s a strong girl, but she has been through a lot in the past couple of weeks. You’re doing everything you can for her and I know she appreciates it, she’s told me. It just going to take some time for her to adjust. Imagine if you lost Linda and Henry in a span of a few months. You’d be messed up too. Like I said, just give her some time.” Mackenzie squealed and Heather rolled her eyes. “Jordan, get off of her.”

With one more bounce, Jordan got off of her and made his way into the kitchen where mom was no doubt cooking. Marc was still tickling her and her face was starting to turn red from all her laughter.

“Marc.” I called. He looked up at me with a sheepish grin on his face. I couldn’t help but smile, it was like we were kids again and I caught him doing something he knew he shouldn’t be doing. “Give it a rest, eh? She’s red in the face.”

Marc stuck his tongue out at me. “Fun sucker.”

I rolled my eyes and helped Mackenzie off the couch. “Sorry about the boneheads.”

She smiled and shook her head. “They weren’t hurting anyone, plus I’ve missed that.” She sighed and I wrapped my arm around her. “I’ve missed them so much, I really didn’t notice how much until this morning when I saw that they were all really here.” She whispered.

I kissed the top of her head. “I know what you mean. They’ve missed you too.”

The two of us stood in the silent living room and listened to my brothers fight in the kitchen. This is what Christmas was supposed to sound like, this was normal. Normally we’d be getting ready for the Christmas Eve party, but since we aren’t in Thunder Bay there obviously isn’t going to be one. I looked down at Mackenzie and I noticed that she was crying. Without a word, I took her to our room and hugged her tight. The most heartbreaking sob wracked her body.

“I know, baby. I know.” I whispered, trying not to cry as well. Seeing her like this was the hardest thing ever. “It’s okay, it may not seem it right now, but it is. I promise you. I’m here for you, Mackenzie.” I continued to hold her while she cried.

“I m-m-miss them s-s-s-so much.” She cried into my chest.

I bit my lip, not sure what to say and to keep myself from crying just as hard as she was. So I didn’t say anything. I just held her and let her cry. I felt so hopeless, I hated seeing her this upset. When will she stop getting like this? How long will I have to standby hopelessly and watch her ache over the loss of her parents? How much more of this can she take? These were just some of the questions that have been running through my head the past week or so. Maybe therapy would help? I’ve thought about bringing it up a few times, but I didn’t want to upset her or make her angry.

Finally, twenty long minutes later Mackenzie finally calmed down. I moved her to the bed and had her sit down while I went to the bathroom and got her some tissues and water. I handed her the water and she gratefully took it.

“I’m sorry” she whispered, placing the now empty glass on the nightstand

I pushed some of her hair out of her face. “Why are you apologizing?” I asked, confused.

She took a deep breath. “Because I’ve been having these breakdowns and I’ve been shutting you out. I know you’re been worried about me and I never wanted you to worry like that.” She paused and I saw tears fill her eyes again. “I hate knowing that you are stressing out over me and I’ve been distracting you, I know I have. That has never been my intention, I just wanted you to know that.”

I brushed a stray tear off her cheek and looked her in her eyes. “First off, you need to try and calm down, you’re going to make yourself sick.” I gave her a light kiss. “Second, don’t get upset about me. Let me worry about you, plus it’s not just me worried. Everyone is.” I took a deep breath. “Don’t get mad at me, please?” She nodded and I continued. “You’ve changed over the past couple of weeks and it’s been hard for me to watch. You’re not the same Mackenzie that I fell in love with in Thunder Bay. That Mackenzie was back though, out in the living room with Jordan and Marc. I’ve missed that Mackenzie. Now this, this Mackenzie” I said pointing to her. “This Mackenzie scares me. She’s quite and withdrawn, but I still love her.”

Silence just hung in the air. Mackenzie didn’t look at me, she was more interested in the strings on the comforter. “I’ve miss the old Mackenzie, too.” She whispers and looks at me with tears in her eyes again. “I miss laughing all the time until I can’t breath. I don’t want to feel like this all the time anymore!” She buried her face in her hands and cried.

My heart broke as I watched my girlfriend crumble. “Oh sweetie, it’s okay. Everything will be okay.” I told her, gathering her in my arms and hugging her tightly. “We can get you help. We can fix this. I’m not forcing you, this is all up to you, but I do think it would help.”

She nodded. “I think that would be a good idea. I’m done with feeling like this. I’m just hurting you and it kills me.”

I kissed her forehead. “Mackenzie, stop worrying about me. Let’s just get you better. Now, I’m going to be with you every step of the way on this. I’ll be at every appointment I can be. I’m there for you.” I pulled her away from me and brushed away her tears. “Now, why don’t you go take a shower and then we can celebrate Christmas with our family?”

She smiled a real smile and stood up. I felt my heart squeeze and I let out a sigh of relief. I haven’t lost my Mackenzie completely. “I love you, Eric” she said before leaning down and capturing my lips in a sweet kiss.

“I love you too, Mackenzie. Always will.”

She sauntered off to the bathroom connected to our bedroom and I sighed, resting, my head on my hands. She was going to try therapy and I was relieved, but I knew it was still going to take some time for her to be the old Mackenzie again. With a sigh, I got up and joined my family in the living room where I’m sure they were wondering where the two of us disappeared to. I took a seat on the couch and mom gave me a look that I was quite familiar with.

“Later” I mouthed to her, she gave me a nod.

Ten minutes later Mackenzie emerged from the shower and took a seat between Jordan and I on the couch. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and placed a kiss on the top of her head, taking in her coconut scented shampoo and conditioner.

“So, Kenz. What did you get me fro Christmas?” Jared asked, wagging his eyebrows.

“I’m not telling you.” She laughed and then looked at the rest of us. “That goes for all of you.”

“Do I get to know?” Heather asked.

Mackenzie shook her head and chuckled. “No, you have to wait as well.”

Mom spoke up with a smile on her face. “Actually Mackenzie, it’s a tradition to give at least one present on Christmas Eve.”

Mackenzie blushed. “Oh, okay then. Then I guess you will see what you guys got.”

We all laughed and I hugged her. I knew she was trying to be as normal as she was before. We continued to talk as a group and catch up. We focused mostly on the fact that Jordan would hopefully be playing in the Winter Classic. We talked about the farm and the Ranger and Hurricanes’ season so far. It was around dinner time and all the girls went into the kitchen to start cooking and catch up on girl things. I stayed in the living room with my brothers and father.

“So Eric, what happened earlier?” Dad asked, concerned.

I sighed and ran a hand down my face. “She had a breakdown. She’s been like this for the past couple of weeks.” I sighed. “She’s going to consider therapy.”

Marc placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “If it helps, then let her.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that I’m against her going, I’m all for it. I’m just upset that there is nothing else I can do for her.” I could feel tears burning my eyes.

“Son, you are doing everything you can for her. Just give her all the time she needs, she’ll come around.” Dad said.

Jordan chimed in. “Mackenzie is a strong girl, Eric. She will be fine.” He paused before continuing again. “Personally, I think that therapy is a great idea. It will help. We get how you are feeling, she’s like our sister and she’s my best friend. We don’t like seeing her hurting, just like you don’t.”

I sat there and let what my family said, sink in. I knew that I was doing everything I could for Mackenzie, but it just felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I smiled to myself when I heard Mackenzie’s laugh coming in from the kitchen. I realized in that moment, that the girl I fell in love with was still the same girl. I knew that everything was going to be okay.