I Left My Heart in San Diego

"Oh shit," I breathed. "Oh, shit. Shit!" I swore, kicking the cabinet door. "Ow," I muttered, rubbing my foot. I sighed, knowing that cursing and kicking cabinet doors wasn't going to make this go away.

I shoved the test into my back pocket, on the hunt for Zie or Mary Jane. Or someone. Really, I just needed someone to talk to; someone besides my boyfriend.

On my way down the stairs, I ran into Zie, almost literally. "Zie!" I exclaimed, gripping her shoulders. "I have to talk to you!"

"Okay, Arizona, calm down." She removed my tense hands from her shoulders. "What do you need to talk to me about?" she asked.

"Can we go somewhere a little more private?" I whispered, leaning in to her ear.

She nodded, following me up to Billie's bedroom. She closed the door behind her as I sat down on the bed. Zie came and saw down next to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Okay, now, calmly tell me what you want to tell me." I pulled the test out of my back pocket and showed it to her. She saw it, recognized what it was, and gasped, clamping her two hands over her mouth.

"I know," I muttered, shoving the test back in my pocket. I hung my head, tears starting to fall on my pink-and-black striped socks.

"It's Billie's, right?" Zie asked, her hands by her sides.

"Of course, Zie, he's the only guy I've ever slept with," I replied a little harshly. I looked over at Zie. "Sorry."

"It's alright, I can imagine you're a little edgy. Have you told him yet?" she asked.

"No, Zie, I just found out myself," I said.

Zie sighed. "Alright, then. Let's go do that," she said, standing up and taking me by the hand.

I stopped us by the door. "Zie, wait!"

"What? If you know it's true, and you know it's his, why not tell him?" she reasoned.

I sighed, looking at her. "I hate reason," I mumbled, starting to smile.

She smiled at me, pushing the door open. "Come on. The sooner the better," she said, pulling me out the door.

"Billie?" Zie called as we walked down the stairs.

"In here," he called from the living room. Here we go, I thought.

"Hey, babe," Billie said upon seeing me, lifting his guitar over his neck and getting up. He set it down on the chair he was just previously occupying and walked over to me, taking my face in his hands and kissing me deeply. "What's up?"

I took a deep breath before speaking. "Billie, I think you're gonna want to sit down to hear this."

Billie's expression turned from one of happiness and nonchalance to one of concern. Was that a hint of worry I detected in his face, too? "What is it, Izzie?" he asked slowly, climbing over the back of the couch and sitting down, craning his neck to keep his eyes on my face.

I walked around the couch like a normal person, taking the seat next to him. I crossed my legs and sat so I was facing him. Through my peripherals, I saw Zie stand against the wall by the chair where Billie left his guitar.

"Izzie," Billie said, putting a hand on my leg. "What is it?" he repeated. I could see the concern in his yellow-green eyes, melting them so they took on the color of sun-baked grass in the summer.

I took another deep breath, and his hand in mine, squeezing it. "Billie," I began, "I'm just gonna say this because this is going to be a really big shock." I transfixed my eyes on his as I prepared myself for his reaction. "I'm pregnant."

Billie's eyes stayed on mine as his expression faltered, but came back. "Okay."

"That's it?" I asked.

"I mean, wow, Arizona. Wow," Billie gasped.

"Yeah," I said, taking his hand since it had dropped from mine upon initial reaction.

"Are you sure?" he asked timidly.

I pulled the test out of my back pocket and showed it to him, pointing to the little pink plus. "Very."

"Those things can be wrong, you know," Billie said, in denial.

"Billie," I said, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "You're in denial. I'm pregnant. It's yours."

He took in a deep breath. "Yeah, you're right." A smile bloomed on his face, and he moved in and kissed me quickly. "We're having a baby!" he exclaimed.

"Wait, you're happy?" I asked, starting to smile myself.

"Well, yeah! I mean, I've kinda always wanted to have kids, and I guess now is a good a time as any," Billie remarked, still smiling.

My smile bloomed across my face. "Yeah! Okay! So we're really doing this?" I asked.

"Yeah! I mean, if you want to," Billie said, his smile fading a little, squeezing my hands.

"Billie Joe, I wouldn't do this if it was with anyone else but you," I said, squeezing his hands back and leaning in to kiss him.

He kissed me back, smiling just as wide as he had been. "I love it when you use my full name."

I laughed, releasing his hands and shifting around into the opposite direction from the one I was facing to lean back against Billie's chest. He wrapped his arms around my stomach, right over where our baby was growing. "I know, you've told me."

He kissed the top of my head, keeping his chin there. "I love you, too, Arizona."

I smiled, a giggle escaping my lips. "I love you, too, Billie Joe," I said, snuggling deeper into his chest.

"You see?" Zie asked, coming off the wall. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

I looked over at her. "Shut up, Zie," I said, squeezing Billie's hands.

He kissed the top of my head again, squeezing me to him. Our hands were resting right over my stomach, our baby growing right beneath my skin.

Our baby. I loved the way that sounded.