I Love You, You Were Ready

I sat on my bed impatiently waiting for Matt to come home. It was 3:07 A.M. and he hasn’t called or texted me back. He ignored all my calls and sent them right to voicemail. I was beyond furious, who the hell does this? I gave him everything and never asked for anything in return.

Fame really was getting to his head, and I hated every ounce of it. Sure, he was doing what he loved and they were finally getting recognized, I was proud.

But the fact that all the sluts were now ‘interested’ and willing to give out their lady D, bugged me. And Matt was desperate. I guess that was my fault. I’ve been holding back, I felt it was necessary I do so until he treats me like he did back when we first started dating, like a princess, not like some girl who is just there.

This really was all my fault. The guilt I felt was unbearable. I wasn’t able to fall asleep either, which made my night even more hellish. Not to mention I told the boys they couldn’t stay here because of Matt, and he isn’t even here.

I felt a warm substance run down my cheek. I wiped what happened to be a tear. I didn’t even know I was crying but soon enough all the tears came streaming down. And I didn’t try to stop it. There was no use, no one was there for me, my boyfriend was cheating, I haven’t cried in weeks. I left everything for him.

I heard the door open and close and silent, or what was Matt trying to be silent. He stumbled into the room and made eye contact with me. I glared. Neither of us spoke. Until the silence was too much and I couldn’t handle it.

“Where the fuck have you been.” I said with venom.

“Out.” He replied.

“Don’t give me that shit, you were out fucking some whore weren’t you. You stupid fucking piece of shit. I was sitting here, bawling my eyes out, worried sick. But obviously my feelings here don’t mean that much to you. I am worthless to you aren’t I? Not good enough? What the fuck Matthew.” I yelled taking five strides towards him.
“You don’t understand how hard it is for me. “ He simpy said.

“How HARD it is for you? Yes, I’m sure doing what you love and having whores go for you is so hard. I’m sure going behind my back is HARD for you. I’m sure. While I’m here busting my ass working and trying to make this damn relationship work, it’s so hard for you.” I yelled. I was furious and he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Don’t fucking yell at my bitch.” He said pushing me back a little.

“Don’t you ever push me. Ever.” I said slapping his chest. Multiple times.

“KASSI STOP!” He yelled. But that didn’t stop me I was unleashing my fury. He pulled me into him and held me. I started shaking and crying.

“I am so sorry.” Was all he said.

“Bull shit. Let me go.” I said.

“No. Please, hear me out.” He pleaded.

“No, fuck you.” Was all I said. I pushed him away and walked out the door.

I went out the door, and made sure to slam it. I walked down the sidewalk and didn’t know where I was going. All I knew is I couldn’t stay there.