Not Afraid to Die

"Yeah, she's fine. I woke her up to eat. Aside from that, she's been sleeping all day."

The voice forced Lolita from her dream world. She opened her eyes a crack, finding herself staring at Dante's couch. A quick inventory of her body told her she wasn't feeling as terrible as she had been earlier that day. Aside from the slight pain in her head, she was fine, and a few pain pills would kill that in less than thirty minutes.

"No, her fever was almost gone last I checked," his voice floated into the room.

Rian was still here? It must not have been that late if he was still in Dante's apartment. She was sure she would sleep the whole day away before feeling remotely better.

Maybe these pills were doing something.

Or maybe they caused an LSD-induced high, successfully making her forget her pain.

She was sure the doctors were lacing her medicine with something. The weird dreams, the eased pain, the affection towards shiny wrapping paper, it was all explained by that one theory.

"Thirty minutes ago. Her body's a lot cooler than it was earlier. I would have used an actual thermometer, but I didn't want to wake her."

Well, that was sweet of Rian.

"No, I haven't been beaten with a pillow yet. Why?"

"Tell Dante to shut his face," Lolita yelled, turning on the couch to face the living room.

Her older sibling had already made her out to be a violent young lady to Rian. She didn't need him feeding anymore lies into Rian's mind. Not that she should have cared, but she did. She wanted Rian to like her.

In the friend way.

That's what she meant.

She could hear his footsteps rush from the kitchen to the living room, legs appearing in her immediate line of vision. Smile spreading on her face, she tilted hers head so she could see Rian's face.

"You're up," he stated, a small smile forming on his lips.

A series of butterflies erupted in her stomach. She tried desperately to squelch the feeling, not wanting it to provoke the return of her nausea, though she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted it to disappear.

She kind of liked the butterflies.

"I got bored of being sick," Lolita said, "Who's on the phone?"

His cell phone was still attached to his ear. Whoever was on the other end was being ignored. She knew who it was. Only one person would call asking for information regarding her current condition.

"Dante. He's checking to make sure you're okay," he paused, listening to the person on the other end of the phone, "And he wants to talk to you."

Excited, Lolita forced herself to a seated position and held out her hand, blurting, "Give me the phone."

Rian handed the eager girl his cell phone, almost chuckling at her child-like excitement. But she seemed truly happy to get the chance to talk to her older brother. Dante had informed him that Lolita didn't have many friends thanks to home schooling. It was something Rian had doubted at first. She seemed social enough to make her own friends. But no one had called for her all day, she hadn't asked for her own cell phone and didn't ask him to send any messages out, and she was actually overly-excited to talk to her brother. Perhaps she didn't have many friends. He doubted it was due to home schooling, though.

He imagined it was pretty hard for her to tell people her age that she had HIV.

"Dante," Lolita squealed into the phone receiver.

"How are you, love?" her older brother's voice sent comfort through her body.

"Great. I just woke up."

"Does anything hurt?"

"My head a little. But I'll take some medicine in a second for that. How's recording?"

"It's okay. Dorian's harassing me, but that's expected."

"Is everyone doing okay?"

"They're worried about you. Grim tried to send me home to take care of you, but when I told him he could confront you about the situation, he backed down. You have everyone whipped, love."

"It’s the pout. Always works."

"That it does. Its almost lunch time, what are you hungry for?"

"Are you coming home already?"

"No, but I figured I could run your menu of choice by my personal list of things you can eat and tell Rian what to make. I'll be back in time for dinner," he said, "So what do you want?"

"Is fast food out of the question?"

"Yes."

"How about the popsicles we made yesterday?"

"Of course you can have those, but that's not lunch."

"Well, if that's not lunch, I don't know what is."

"Why don't you ask Rian if he's up for making pizza with you?"

Her heart fluttered. Rian making pizza with her? That sounded fun. Lolita had done so with Dante multiple times. It was hardly a mess-free adventure, especially with Lolita handling materials. She and Rian could bond over creating pizza.

A bond of a friendship.

"Rian, do you want to make pizza?" Lolita asked. Before he could respond, she said, "Good, because we're making pizza." She returned her attention to her sibling, "We're making pizza, Dante."

The smile grew on Rian's face. She was absolutely adorable. He was getting used to knowing she was sick. It just didn't seem like she was. If she was hurting, she did a good job of hiding it.

"Did you give him a choice?" Dante asked.

"I was supposed to give him a choice? Fine," she sighed, "Rian, would you like to make pizza or would you like to make pizza?"

"Saying the same thing twice and putting the word 'or' in between it is not giving someone a choice."

"Would it help if I reworded it the second time?"

He chuckled, "No."

"Would it help if I took a dramatic pause in between the two options?"

"No."

Lolita sighed in mock-exasperation, "Well, Dante, you’re not giving me anything to work with here."

"I'm trying to make your life difficult."

"You admit it," Lolita exclaimed, "Little did you know, I had the police tap your phone so I could catch your confession."

"You sneaky little devil," he said, "I have to get back into the booth. I'll see you later. Don't get too messy making pizza."

"Okay. Come home soon. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

Lolita pressed the disconnect button on the cell phone and handed it back to Rian. Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach and palpitations of her heart, she sent him an expectant look.

"Yes?" he asked.

"We have to make pizza now," Lolita replied, tone suggesting it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is that 'we' as in both of us or 'we' meaning me while you watch?"

"Both of us, silly. I like making pizza."

Making pizza was fun. She could remember the experiences she and her family had cooking together. By no means were they chefs, and that was what made the experience special.

"What if I don't like making pizza?" Rian asked, playful smile on his lips.

"You don't really have a choice."

"And why is that?"

"Because I said so."

"Well, Princess Lolita, lets get you some medicine and make that pizza."

Princess. She liked the sound of that. She especially liked the way it sounded rolling off Rian's tongue. Anything sounded sweet coming from his mouth, except the prospect of taking medicine.

"As princess of Dante's apartment, I decree that I no longer have to take medicine."

"As your royal highness' caretaker, I decree that you still have to take your medicine."

"Nursemaids can't overrule princesses."

"I'm not a nursemaid."

"What are you then?"

"Cool kid on ice. I overrule everyone."

Lolita couldn't control the laughter bubbling from her throat.