Not Afraid to Die

"You got me a slice of cake?" Lolita exclaimed, eyes shining.

Her tears had long since dried after Arpeggio's explosion. The females in the room were a great deal calmer than they had been. There was no sign anything had taken place.

"Doctor Cart said I could," Dante replied, placing the cake on the movable tray connected to Lolita's bed.

"Where's my cake?" Arpeggio pouted.

"Jack's got it."

She sighed, "He's probably eaten it by now."

"She's right. We should have taken it from him." Rian sat in his chair next to Lolita's bed. "Who needs a hyper Jack running around a hospital?"

"Who needs a hyper Arpeggio running around a hospital," Neon countered.

"I do," Lolita chirped, scooping a large amount of cake into her mouth.

Eyes glued to Lolita, watching her shove cake into her mouth. She wasn't even coming up for air.

But she had been deprived of real food for the past couple of days. She had a reason to be eating with such ferocity, even if the IVs and tubes in her were keeping her from getting hungry.

The keyboardist was the first to pull her eyes away from the young girl, "Where is everyone."

Dante and Rian had returned. But the rest of the men of RxN and All Time Low were no where near the room.

"Alex and Jack took the twins to the children's ward. There's a play area," Dante answered.

"Zack went to the gift shop, probably to buy you something pretty," Rian nodded to Jazz.

"And Lestat, Dorian, and Grim are chatting with Doctor Cart. I think we got everyone."

"My fiancé took my cake to the children's ward? I'm never going to get it," Arpeggio grumbled.

"You can always get him to make up for it," Jazz assured.

"Yeah," Arpeggio mumbled, "He better be ready to make up for it tonight."

Neon plugged her ears with slim fingers, "I don't want to hear that."

"You think I'm talking about sex as a punishment technique?"

"I know you are."

"You're right," Arpeggio giggled, "Jack's the one getting tied down tonight."

"Stop that," Neon exclaimed.

"Neon can dish it, but she can't take it," Jazz joked.

"No, I'm sure she can take it," Arpeggio grinned.

Neon looked at Dante with pleading eyes. "Make them stop."

"If you would stop sneaking away to have sex in a bathroom while you're supposed to be recording, you wouldn't be dealing with this," Dante crossed his arms over his chest and sat on the bed near Lolita's legs.

"I only did that once today, and Jazz and Dorian were recording, not me."

"At least she admits it," Rian said. Glancing at Lolita, he noticed she had slowed down considerably on the cake and was watching the group with amusement playing in her eyes. "Hey, Lolita."

She snapped her head to face him, eyes wide, mouth full. A slur of incomprehensible words stumbled from her full mouth.

"Can I have a bite of cake?"

At least half the cake was left on the plate, and it looked pretty good. Lolita seemed to like it, judging by the way she was devouring it. And Rian assumed she had good taste in food. Deprived of normal nutrients or not, he would be able to trust her.

Hopefully.

And it may have been a bit of flirting technique.

Lolita choked down the mouthful of cake, trying to appear as normal as possible. Rian cracked a smile, a perfect smile that made it more difficult to swallow. The cake managed to slide down her esophagus without asphyxiating her. Oxygen rushed into her lungs. She could almost hear the whooshing sound her lungs were making as they took in air.

Maybe she should have slowed down.

"If you eat it all, I'll never let you color with me again," she said and pushed the tray closer to Rian.

Poor, Lolita. She was doing this the wrong way. But Rian would put her back on track.

"Oh, no," Rian started, "It seems I've lost the ability to control my arms. Maybe you should feed me."

Coughing to cover his laugh, Dante turned away from the pair, body shaking. Arpeggio bit her bottom lip, just above her lower lip piercing, corners of her lips tugging upward. Neon and Jazz shared curious glances.

And Lolita stared at Rian, a mix of emotions filling her. She didn't know what to do. Feeding him would only announce her crush on him. He would know and try to move their relationship further. That couldn't happen. Though Lolita had accepted her crush, she wasn't willing to act on it. She couldn't get over her fear, not yet.

But part of her, the part making it difficult to keep away from Rian, wanted her to allow their relationship to blossom. It was a strong want, and it scared her a great deal. She had been fine just crushing on Rian. That part of her was forcing her to want more than the crush.

Grabbing her fork, Lolita cut a small section from the cake and scooped it up. She held a hand under the fork to keep the cake from falling onto her bed as she moved it towards Rian.

"Say 'cheese.'" Lolita instructed.

"Isn't that what you say when you take a picture?" Rian asked.

"Do you want a bite of cake?"

"Fine. Cheese."

"Good. Now, say the alphabet backwards."

"I can't say the alphabet backwards."

"Neither can I. I get to X, and then get distracted because it's such a cool letter."

"You would get distracted if I dangled my keys in front of you."

"And you're not going to get to eat this piece of cake if you don't open your mouth."

Rian popped his lips open. Giggling, Lolita put the fork in Rian's mouth and watched it close around the plastic object. When she was sure he had gotten the cake off the fork, she attempted to tug the fork out of his mouth. It didn't budge. Rian's teeth had clamped down on the plastic, keeping it in place.

"Let go," Lolita whined, tugging the fork.

Rian shook his head.

"Rian, you're going to break it, and I'll never be able to finish my cake because Dante doesn't let me eat cake with my hands."

After managing to spread cake throughout their father's house, she was banned from eating utensil-necessary foods with her hands. Even though she had insisted it wasn't her fault, their father didn't budge on the matter.

She really had no proof to backup the claim anyway.

Rian's teeth remained clamped on the fork, smile stretching across his face. He held in his laughs, knowing they'd make him let go of the fork before he was ready to.

Honestly, he wouldn't have gone about this in the way he was with any other woman. But this was Lolita. She wasn't normal. A normal human being became depressed when they realized they had HIV. She hopped around, full of energy, and demanded random things that she knew she didn't need.

"Rian," Lolita whined. She grabbed his chin between her fingers and attempted to pry his mouth open. Realizing it wouldn't work, Lolita let go of his chin and turned to her brother. "Dante, make him let go."

Dante held his arms up, signaling he could do nothing about Rian's need to hold onto the plastic fork. He didn't know why Rian was doing it but he was sure there was a purpose behind it.

Rian was more calculating than some people realized.

Lolita huffed and turned back to Rian. How was she supposed to get him to understand she needed the fork? It was supposed to be an easy concept to understand. She needed the fork to eat. Why couldn't he let her have it?

Leaning close to his face, Lolita glared into his eyes. "Let go."

She was finally close enough.

Rian released the fork from between his teeth and pressed his lips to Lolita's cheek. He could feel them heat under his lips.

Lolita's breathing hitched, eyes widening. She swore she could hear the beeps from her heart monitor increasing. When Rian pulled away, she straightened, placed a hand over the spot he kissed, and stared at him.

"Oh," she breathed.

This wasn't good.