Disallusioned Mentality.
This is the begining.
I lie here staring at my ceiling. the only unfilled space in my cramp room; letting the depression seep deeper and deeper into my skin like water in a sponge. I didn't even bother to change when I got home last night. My jeans are itchy, my shirt is wrapped around my frame in an uncomfortable way, my mascara was almost in a nonexistant state, I was completely miserable, and I've cried myself to sleep tonight.
I almost lost my virginity last night, to someone who doesn't love me.I'm in love with a man named William Davis, he's in love with a woman named Natasha Barnes, my name is not Natasha Barnes. I did not almost have sex with Will.
I'll start from the begining. My birth certificate says my name is Emmaline Ingram. Call me Emma, please. I've known Will for four years, was his best friend for two.The year he left for college was the year the communications started dying off. That was two years ago. I had already realized I'd fallen for him months before he left, but I never told him for fear of losing the friendship I had with him. I'm 3 years younger than him.
Will suddenly grabbed my arm and lead me outside, running.
It was the middle of November, icey rain falling everywhere.
"Are you crazy? It's pouring rain out here" We had to yell over the storm.
"I broke up with Nat" he replied bluntly.
I was stunned, but managed to say "What? Why? Are you okay?"
He didn't say anything, just stared at me. We just stood in the center of the street, soaking wet about a foot away from each other.
"Wil-" I didn't even finish saying his name when he walked over so quickly I didn't realize what was happening and pulled me so close to him I could feel his wet clothes against my skin. He moved some hair out of my face and behind my ear. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what he was doing. What was he doing? Was this real? And then he did it. He just kissed me, this deeply passionate kiss. The water dripped between us while our lips met. He was gentle and forceful all at the same time. I had my arms around him behind his neck, and I could feel his warm ,soft lips travel slowly down to my neck. His hands intwined in my wet brunette hair. He put his arm tighter around my waist, and I felt like it was finally happening. We were finally together. He loved me. He slipped his hand in my back pocket, while the thunder roared in the balance. He looked me right in the eyes, and screamed "I love you. I'm so sorry" over the roaring rain and thunder.
"I love you too"
And then I woke up, and I recalled this disturbing fact. This dream would never happen.
I almost lost my virginity last night, to someone who doesn't love me.I'm in love with a man named William Davis, he's in love with a woman named Natasha Barnes, my name is not Natasha Barnes. I did not almost have sex with Will.
I'll start from the begining. My birth certificate says my name is Emmaline Ingram. Call me Emma, please. I've known Will for four years, was his best friend for two.The year he left for college was the year the communications started dying off. That was two years ago. I had already realized I'd fallen for him months before he left, but I never told him for fear of losing the friendship I had with him. I'm 3 years younger than him.
Will suddenly grabbed my arm and lead me outside, running.
It was the middle of November, icey rain falling everywhere.
"Are you crazy? It's pouring rain out here" We had to yell over the storm.
"I broke up with Nat" he replied bluntly.
I was stunned, but managed to say "What? Why? Are you okay?"
He didn't say anything, just stared at me. We just stood in the center of the street, soaking wet about a foot away from each other.
"Wil-" I didn't even finish saying his name when he walked over so quickly I didn't realize what was happening and pulled me so close to him I could feel his wet clothes against my skin. He moved some hair out of my face and behind my ear. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what he was doing. What was he doing? Was this real? And then he did it. He just kissed me, this deeply passionate kiss. The water dripped between us while our lips met. He was gentle and forceful all at the same time. I had my arms around him behind his neck, and I could feel his warm ,soft lips travel slowly down to my neck. His hands intwined in my wet brunette hair. He put his arm tighter around my waist, and I felt like it was finally happening. We were finally together. He loved me. He slipped his hand in my back pocket, while the thunder roared in the balance. He looked me right in the eyes, and screamed "I love you. I'm so sorry" over the roaring rain and thunder.
"I love you too"
And then I woke up, and I recalled this disturbing fact. This dream would never happen.
♠ ♠ ♠
Fake names, based on a true feelings, exaggerated.Most of these chapters are going to be fairly short, sorry.
In case you're confused, I'm not stupid I know making out in the rain is not almost losing one's virginity, If you read to the end, you'll know that was a side dream.