Drop Dead.

“Babe, are you all right?” David asked the eve before our departure from Ireland. We were laying in bed, although neither of us could sleep. I swallowed and pulled away from him to look him in the eyes, my eyebrows furrowed in fake confusion.

“N-No.” Damn my stuttering. “Why do yeh ask?”

“You’ve just been really distant lately,” he told me in that thick Irish brogue that made my knees weak. But it came nowhere close to how Oliver’s accent made me feel. “Really reserved and keepin’ to yourself.”

“I’m fine, babe,” I assured him with a kiss. “Really.” He looked doubtful but he didn’t press it further, just kissed me again, this time longer than the last. The bubble in my stomach gurgled and flared; my insides felt like they were being goal-kicked around my torso, making me nauseous again. But I ignored it and settled my head against David’s shoulder. Minutes later, his breathing evened out and I knew he was asleep. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it so easily.

So, quietly, I pulled myself out of David’s grip and out of the bed. I threw on my robe and tiptoed downstairs, throwing myself into the couch. Then, when I was positive I was alone, I let myself cry after bottling it up for the past two days.

I was crying so much that I nearly made myself sick again. I was muffling my coughs into the sleeves of my robe and the small throw pillow on the couch. My sob session was cut short though when I heard soft footfalls on the stairs. I wiped at my eyes, trying to rid them of any trace that I’d been crying. When I looked to the doorway to see who had come downstairs, my heart sped up just a little.

“Would yeh keep it down?” he snapped. “I can hear yeh all the way upstairs.” Anger boiled in my gut and I tossed the pillow I’d used as a muzzle aside. I stood slowly and took two threatening steps towards him, my index finger aimed at his nose.

“This is yeh fault,” I hissed lowly at him. He flinched backwards at my tone. “If yeh hadn’t kissed me, we wouldn’t be in this situation! Yeh ruined everything!” I emphasized my point by punching him square in the chest.

“Yeh think that ‘urt?” he taunted with a smirk. I hit him again, harder this time.

“Stop teasing me. This isn’t funny! What about Mel?” I asked him in a harsh whisper, waving my arm in the direction of the stairs. The smirk fell.

“What about Mel?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Once she finds out, she’s gonna be hurt! She’ll hate yeh, and she’ll hate me! And I can’t afford to have her hate me!”

“And yeh think I can?” he retorted, raising his eyebrows. “I love ‘er –”

“Bull shit,” I snapped, backing away from him. “If yeh loved her, yeh wouldn’t have kissed me.”

“I wasn’ finished,” he said, closing the distance between us. I took another step back; he stepped forward. We played this game until I was cornered against the wall. Oliver’s arms came up to brace on either side of my head, ensuring that I couldn’t get away. Well, fuck. “I love Mel, but the feelin’s I ‘ave for ‘er don’ come close to the ones I ‘ave for yeh.”

“Wh-what?” I stuttered, and I braved looking into his eyes. They were dark and filled with emotion, flickering between my own and my lips.

“Yeh ‘eard me,” he whispered lowly, his face inching closer. Before I could get another word in, his lips met mine, but it was nothing like the kiss in the bathroom. While the kiss in the bathroom was rushed and desperate, this one was slow and pleading, as if he was begging me.

This time I didn’t push him away. I let him kiss me – and I kissed back. His mouth moved slowly over mine and his hand reached up to cup my face, his fingers raking through my hair. His free arm wrapped itself around my waist and pulled me closer to his skinny body and I let mine snake around his neck. I lifted myself onto my tiptoes and pressed our mouths closer, deepening the kiss. My stomach was busy with butterflies and my skin was searing. My knees were buckling and I felt that if I let go of Oliver, I’d crumple to the carpet.

We pulled away and my eyes fluttered open to meet his. A smile slowly broke out across his face and he leaned down to press his forehead to mine. My head was swimming with confusion. There was doubt that what I’d felt for Oliver months before was still there, but then again there was no doubt that I loved David. But was what I felt for Oliver stronger?

My heart tugged. Yes. But I couldn’t just drop what I had with David for Oliver; he was still with Melanie. And Melanie wouldn’t just give up Oliver, especially to me. She loved him way too much and I was pretty sure he replaced me as her number one.

Before Oliver could lean in and kiss me again, I pushed him away gently. He stared at me questioningly.

“We can’t,” I said with a shake of my head. Oliver’s jaw twitched; he wasn’t happy. “We’re both still in serious relationships, and I won’t cheat on David. Yeh might feel shameless doing it to Mel, but I can’t do that to either of them. This doesn’t come back with us to Sheffield.”

With that said, I brushed by him and silently went back upstairs, settling myself into bed with David, who didn’t move a muscle. He was out cold, which allowed me to fall asleep easier. It meant he hadn’t heard anything that had gone on downstairs.