I'm In Love With My Best Friend, But He Doesn't Even Know I'm Gay.
Ten
Ryan POV
“What time is it Ry?” Brendon asked for the ten billionth time in an hour.
“Five minutes past when you last asked me bear.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I hate waiting rooms. I hate the smell of amonia and death. I hate the hard plastic chairs and the boring white walls. I hate the nurses who could care less whether you lived or died because they worked twelve hours and just wanted to go home and sleep. I hate hospitals.
“What time is it?’......
**************************************************************
After waiting four and a half hours to see a doctor, we found out it was a minor infection caused by not properly cleaning the wound and Brendon was admitted overnight so they could pump his bloodstream with antibiotics. Visiting hours were over and Kat came to stay with Brendon because the homophobic doctor didn’t allow same sex couples to stay overnight. Fucking prick.
I drove home in silence, occasionally humming a song that came to mind. Everything had happened so fast in the last two days. I went from madly crushing and uselessly dreaming of my best friend to almost having sex with my new boyfriend twice.
Sex.
The “cool” thing to do. It didn’t seem so cool to me. Actually, I was scared to death. I knew what happened when two guys had sex. My friend Eric told me about his first time. He said he was hurting so bad he cried for an hour afterwards. I didn’t want that. Nor did I want Brendon going through that agony. Yet every time our skin touched my groin ached to feel his touch. And when we were fooling around in my bed I wanted nothing more than to make love to him.
Yes, I said make love. Not fuck. I am a hopeless romantic and anyone who “fucks” is cheap and dirty in my opinion. I wanted to lay Brendon down and slowly kiss his lips, ears, neck, chest, hip bones, then further down to his thighs, swirling my tounge all around his man hood but never quite touching it. I wanted to watch him wiggle and moan in a mixture of exctasy and misery because my lips would come so close to contact but break away at the last second. I wanted to hear him gasp as I take all of him into my mouth so suddenly he has no time to prepare. I wanted to feel his hips bucking, pleading to take more as my tounge controls his every muscle. I wanted to feel his hand in my hair, grabbing tightly but not enough to hurt. I wanted to taste him coming into my mouth and keep sucking until he was surely done. I wanted to watch him panting, trying to even out his breathing, even though I just gave him the best feeling in the world. I wanted to kiss him softly and then make sweet and passionate love to him.
But.
I’m scared.
I pulled into my driveway, dazed and lost in my dreamworld. Sleep won’t come easy tonight.
“What time is it Ry?” Brendon asked for the ten billionth time in an hour.
“Five minutes past when you last asked me bear.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I hate waiting rooms. I hate the smell of amonia and death. I hate the hard plastic chairs and the boring white walls. I hate the nurses who could care less whether you lived or died because they worked twelve hours and just wanted to go home and sleep. I hate hospitals.
“What time is it?’......
**************************************************************
After waiting four and a half hours to see a doctor, we found out it was a minor infection caused by not properly cleaning the wound and Brendon was admitted overnight so they could pump his bloodstream with antibiotics. Visiting hours were over and Kat came to stay with Brendon because the homophobic doctor didn’t allow same sex couples to stay overnight. Fucking prick.
I drove home in silence, occasionally humming a song that came to mind. Everything had happened so fast in the last two days. I went from madly crushing and uselessly dreaming of my best friend to almost having sex with my new boyfriend twice.
Sex.
The “cool” thing to do. It didn’t seem so cool to me. Actually, I was scared to death. I knew what happened when two guys had sex. My friend Eric told me about his first time. He said he was hurting so bad he cried for an hour afterwards. I didn’t want that. Nor did I want Brendon going through that agony. Yet every time our skin touched my groin ached to feel his touch. And when we were fooling around in my bed I wanted nothing more than to make love to him.
Yes, I said make love. Not fuck. I am a hopeless romantic and anyone who “fucks” is cheap and dirty in my opinion. I wanted to lay Brendon down and slowly kiss his lips, ears, neck, chest, hip bones, then further down to his thighs, swirling my tounge all around his man hood but never quite touching it. I wanted to watch him wiggle and moan in a mixture of exctasy and misery because my lips would come so close to contact but break away at the last second. I wanted to hear him gasp as I take all of him into my mouth so suddenly he has no time to prepare. I wanted to feel his hips bucking, pleading to take more as my tounge controls his every muscle. I wanted to feel his hand in my hair, grabbing tightly but not enough to hurt. I wanted to taste him coming into my mouth and keep sucking until he was surely done. I wanted to watch him panting, trying to even out his breathing, even though I just gave him the best feeling in the world. I wanted to kiss him softly and then make sweet and passionate love to him.
But.
I’m scared.
I pulled into my driveway, dazed and lost in my dreamworld. Sleep won’t come easy tonight.
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay so I know, KNOW this is complete and total shit. I have had a weird, stressful, crazy week. I moved from night shift to day shift at my job and i’m SO not used to that. Christmas is in 5 days and I couldn’t be more stressed. We are moving in a month and there is so much shit with that...Anyways, I just want you all to know I am sorry and next time it won’t take this long and it will be a a billion times better. i love you all so much for sticking this out. It will get better, there will be drama. There will be hot sexy boysexxxx. BUT, not yet. We want this as real as possible and having sex a day into a reltionship just isn’t real. I love you all. And you to Kat.