You Are Loved, Baby.

On Thursday morning and I was dropping Bronx off at school with Blaik in my arms, giggling and clapping his hands together as we walked past kids and parents who were hurrying to get things done. Bronx held my let hand and I held Blaik against me with my right arm as we walked down the hallway towards Bronx's class room.

I hesitated slightly when I saw Zacky walking towards the same room as me, while coming from a different direction. He looked up and saw me. He offered a wave and walked over to me with a smile, his left hand clasped with a young boys'. His nephew Gavin's.

"Hey Zack," I greeted softly as Bronx reached out to hug him.

"Hey Nissa, How've you been these last couple of days?" He asked, making small talk.

I ignored his question and replied with one of my own, "How is he?" I demanded to know in a solid but polite tone.

Zacky shrugged, "He's doing alright. Just kind of heartbroken, I guess."

He put it in a way that had my heart beating quickly and I knew that Zacky's nonchalant tone was his way of saying Brian was shattered without having to make a scene in front of the boys and his nephew who were clinging to our every words. Zacky lent down to Gavin's level and hugged the boy goodbye before shooing him off to class as the bell rang. I did the same with Bronx, pressed a kiss to kiss cheek, let him kiss his baby brother goodbye and then watched as he raced off after Gavin.
Zacky and I stood back up and Zacky smiled at Blaik in a way that got me thinking.

"Do you want to hold Blaik, Zacky?" I questioned as I handed him over to him, not waiting for an answer.

Zacky chuckled and nodded as he pulled his nephew into his arms with a grin overtaking his pierced lips. Blaik giggled and reached out to touch Zacky's lip rings.

I laughed loudly as Zacky attempted to pull his piercings away from the baby's probing fingers. I leaned forward and attempted to help free Zacky from my son's grasp.

"Blaik baby, let go of Uncle Zacky's lip!" I said while laughing at the situation.

We got Zacky free within a couple of minutes and then Zacky and I walked together from the building, Blaik still in Zack's arms, just farther away from the guitarist's mouth.

"It's odd being someone else's uncle. It's usually just my sister kids and I," Zacky told me honestly as we walked down the hallway together.

"Yeah well, Brian's like your brother, right? That makes Brian's son your nephew too, I guess."

Zacky nodded with a bright smile on his face as he shifted slightly. "I care about the kid already," He murmured, "Bronx too."

I grinned and hugged Zacky, quickly. When I pulled away words slipped from my mouth, "I want you all to be close with Blaik, if not Bronx too. But I want Blaik to have a relationship with with all of you guys. I wish that he could've met Jimmy because Jimmy was a large influence on me and I know that he meant a lot to all of you guys."

We were both silent as Zacky thought about Jimmy and I thought about Brian and how to ever make him understand that I could never be with him, for the sake of our son and both of our hearts.
I decided to just come out and say what I was thinking, so at least someone that was close to Brian would know what went on between us.

"I love Brian, you know," I told Zacky honestly as I stopped walking.

Zacky stopped as well and turned to face me with hope burning in his orbs, "What happened?"

"Zack, I love him, but I'm not in love with him in that way. He's the father of my child and I just can't be with him. I don't want to put Blaik through that, you know?" I told Zacky honestly as we stood in the middle of a hallway, the exit door right down the hall.

Zacky sighed and clenched his jaw as he spoke, "But you do love him. Isn't that enough?"

I shook my head, "I would never want to cheat either of us in that way," I said strongly and honestly.

"I get it," Zacky sighed once more and we continued walking down the hallway together, silently, my son still in his arms making sounds of contentment.

"How come you brought Gavin to school, today?" I questioned, trying to break the tension as the two of us emerged from the brightly colored elementary school.

"Zina goes into work earlier somedays so I bring Gavin and Gianna to school on those days, like today," Zacky told me as we walked towards his SUV.

"Oh, that's nice of you, Zack. I know my brother doesn't even want to get Bronx out of bed for me in the mornings," I joked as we stopped outside his car.

He shrugged, "I guess I'm just an amazing little brother."

I laughed and nodded, leaning against his black car, "I guess so!"

Blaik clapped his hands randomly and giggled loudly with a smile on his face, showing his small little teeth. I grinned at my son, seeing Brian's smile on his little face. I reached out and straightened the little beanie that was covering Blaik's head, something that Brian had bought for him that day at the mall. Blaik was wearing a long sleeved brown and blue shirt with khaki pants and brown little boots which he was kicking back and forth as he rested his bum on Zacky's arm.

I noticed Zacky studying Blaik as well, taking in all his little features and noting the similarities between the little boy and Zacky's best friend. Zacky's green eyes scanned over the young, six month year old child quickly and then looked to me.

I nodded when Zacky began to speak, "I know, Zack," I laughed, "He looks just like Brian and nothing like me."

Zack spoke next, "He's adorable, Nissa. He seems like a happy baby, too." Zack shuffled the baby in his arms so that he wouldn't slip from his grip. The parents who were driving out of the school were mostly gone by now so I reached out to pull Blaik from Zacky.

"I better go," I murmured, "Juliann has off today and I can barely trust that kid home alone," I chuckled as I shuffled Blaik against my side.

Zacky nodded and leaned in to press a platonic kiss mine and Blaik's cheeks before I turned away, hearing Zacky call after me.

"See you around!" He said.

"Yeah," I replied, "I'll be around to see Brian soon."

Zacky smiled happily and nodded as he watched me walk away with Blaik. "Good," he murmured, "Good."