Hello

All Ella would play was Christmas music. I didn't feel very Christmas-ey, considering I hadn't talked to Kris in two days and I would be leaving for home in three. 

I had called him twice and left messages, swallowing my pride for a while, but I refused to call him anymore - I would not show that much desperation towards a boy, even if I had been the one who was wrong. Two phone calls were okay - but three was pushing it. Two phone calls were enough to show that I wanted to fix things. 

It didn't really matter, though, because he hadn't called me back.

I blankly stared at my notes, attempting to read through them for my last exam in the morning, but nothing was reaching my brain. I was mindlessly flipping through the pages when my phone rang from somewhere on the couch beside me. I jumped, my papers and textbook flying to the floor. I couldn't see my phone on the couch anywhere. I yanked the cushion up, seeing the black metal and grabbing it before the person hung up. 

I slid down onto the floor. I glanced at the screen and felt my heart sink as I read the name:

James

I sighed and flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Liv. Come over!"

I twisted my mouth to the side and scratched my nose. I stared at the scattered papers, instantly feeling tired. "I don't know..."

"Oh come on. I'm lonely."

I gave in at the sound of his puppy dog voice. "Okay."

--- 

James ushered me in and I walked ahead of him into his living room. I held back a sigh, not wanting James to know I was upset. I didn't know if Kris had told him anything, but all he had heard from me was that I 'hadn't heard from Kris in a few days'. 

"Want to play Mario?"

I looked up at James and nodded, trying to make my smile look convincing. I knelt down in front of the tv as James left the room to do who knows what. I set up the xbox and turned it on, sitting back on my heels and waiting for the game to load. 

I heard a knock on James' door, and looked in that direction curiously. I heard the door open, and heard James say hello. My eyes widened as I heard a quiet, familiar voice talking back. My eyes stayed glued to the opening in the hall where I knew the men would appear as I stood up. A moment later, Kris stood in front of me, looking as surprised as I felt. James wheeled in after him. He looked between the two of us, giving me an encouraging smile as my eyes met his.

"James-" I began, but he cut me off.

"You guys have both been amazing friends to me," he began. "Kris, you've been there through everything, and Livia," he turned to me, "I've known you for what - a week? I feel like I've known you for so much longer." I couldn't help but smile at that. It was true; James was like an old friend. "You two are perfect for each other." I felt my cheeks heat up as he said that. "You're both too quiet to say how you really feel, but you've both mentioned things to me on the side that you've clearly refrained from saying to one another. I don't know what happened, or why you guys aren't talking, but figure it out. I of all people know that life is too short to be angry or bitter." I felt him look at me, but I was staring at the floor by now. I guessed Kris had told him something, or he had figured it out himself. "I'm gonna ask you two politely to go outside and talk, since I don't feel like going out. But I went through all this trouble for you guys, so please try and make it worth my while."

There was silence after James' speech, in which I glanced at Kris, only to find him looking back. I sighed, looking away, and headed towards the door. I brushed past Kris and heard him mumble something in French to James before he followed me. I stepped outside and inhaled the sharp, cold air, staring blankly in front of me. I heard the door close, and felt Kris stand beside me. We were silent until I spoke up.

"You ignored my calls and walked right past my apartment, clearly with no intention of talking to me."

My tone held frustration. Kris inhaled a sharp breath, letting it out quickly.

"I needed some time to think, Livia."

I nodded slowly. "About what exactly?"

"You basically called me a liar, and I thought you knew me better than that." Kris sighed. "I liked you... I still do, Livia, and I thought you liked me too. But when you freaked on me, I didn't know what to do. I thought showing you I cared about you was even better than telling you."

The meaning of his words sank in, and I felt butterflies gnawing on my insides. I turned to him, rubbing my arms and hugging myself. "So you do-" I sighed. "Did? Like me?" I asked meekly.

Kris nodded. A lock of hair hung down in front of his eyes, and he ran his hands through his hair to fix it. His eyes met mine and he held my gaze. "I wasn't pretending."

I felt my heart wrench and I closed my eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Kris..." I tried to think of the right way to say what I wanted to say. "I wanted so badly to believe that you were who I thought you were... It's just that it's been proven to me before that things like this are too good to be true. I knew you wouldn't use me and then leave, Kris, but I have this thing where I need to know things straight up..." I chewed my lip, pausing before continuing. "I find it hard to figure things out unless someone simply says it out loud. I don't want to jump to conclusions and think I can read emotions. I only get hurt that way." My voice got quieter at the end of my sentence. "I just wanted to know where we stood, Kris, and it blew up in my face."

The silence after my words was nearly deafening. It took a few moments until Kris spoke.

"Livia," he said gently, taking a few steps towards me. "If I kissed you, would you know that I liked you?"

My heart rate sped up and I tucked a piece of hair behind my ears, my eyes on the ground.

"Um," I stammered. "Kissing doesn't always mean you want to be with someone."

"But you know me, Livia," Kris said gently. His hand reached up to brush my hair from my forehead. His touch sent shivers up and down my spine. He was mere inches away now, and I was sure he could hear my heart beating. "That's the difference. I'm not going to use you, and you know that."

"Yeah," was all I could manage as my nerves got the best of me. 

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded in response, my eyes flying up to meet his as his hand rested on the side of my face. His thumb rubbed my cheek gently and I closed my eyes, reaching my hand up to place it on top of his. I felt him move closer, and his free hand gently found my waist. His lips met mine seconds later.