World So Cold

I don’t know why I do this to myself. Why I let myself remember. Why I can never forget.

As my eyes took in my bedroom I noticed the rose still sitting on my vanity. Fresh tears sprang to my eyes. He had said he loves me. Me. Not Katherine. I crossed to the rose and picked it up, holding it in my hands.

”You still have this?” asked Damon as he crossed my room to the rose. He picked it up in his hands and twirled it around.

“Yes, I do,” I said blushing madly. I had taken Damon to my room so we could be alone, undisturbed by servants or family.

“Why?” he asked turning to me. His eyes looked uncharacteristically vulnerable. I dropped my eyes to the floor and mumbled something incoherently. “What did you say?” he asked placing the rose down and coming to stand in front of me. He placed a finger under my chin and made me look at him.

“Because I love you,” I said. After I said it I waited for the rebuff, the disgust. How could someone like him possibly love me? I waited with bated breath for him to say something. Instead what he did caught me off guard.

Cupping my face he brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was a soft, quick kiss but it left me breathless and wide eyed. I had never been kissed before. And the way he did it sent a thrill through my body.

“You know what purple roses mean, don’t you?” he asked. I shook my head, still unable to speak. “They symbolize love at first sight. From the first moment I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful woman on Earth.”

“Oh, Damon,” I said throwing my arms around his neck. “I felt the same way. That day in the garden… I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” I confessed. I blushed afterwards shocked by the words that came out of my mouth. But Damon just smiled.

“I’ll always love you,” said Damon kissing my lips once more.

He had said always. Always. And now there he was with some tramp. I hadn’t realized it but I had gripped the rose tighter. I gave a sharp cry of pain as one of the thorns punctured my skin. Dropping the rose to the floor a drop of blood pooled on the tip of my finger.

I put the finger in my mouth to get rid of the blood and then picked up the rose again. Taking it to one of the windows I opened it up and through the rose out the window. I didn’t want any reminder of Damon around.

After the rose was gone I felt the rest of me went with it. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks and I quickly closed the window. Falling on top of my bed I curled up gripping the sheets tight. Tears fell from my eyes wetting the sheets.

I love him. He doesn’t love me. I trusted him. Every word he said to me was a lie. I gave him my heart. He tore it to pieces. I gave him all of me. He threw it away. Damon Salvatore stole my heart and he still had it. I knew I would always love him. You could never forget someone like Damon, no matter how hard I tried.

Only one question wandered through my mind: Why? Why did he do this to me? He said he loved me. He said always. It was all just a lie. One lie after another. I was just a game to him. And once he got what he wanted, once I gave myself to him, he didn’t care. He just left. He left me with a broken heart.

I was nothing to him.

I landed in Fell’s Church just as darkness settled. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. The old wounds were now open and bleeding. I changed back to a vampire and with fumbling steps made it to the support of an old tree.

I placed both hands on the tree, supporting myself. My arms and chest shook with every breath that I took. Tears silently rolled down my cheeks. He never loved me. He never would. It was then as I heard a twig snap that my head jerked up.

I looked around wildly and that’s when my heart stomach dropped. I didn’t have a heart left. Three feet away from me stood a man with a sinister smile. “Hello,” he said with a soothing accent. The rest of him looked anything but soothing.

He must have trailed me from the old town. He must have somehow known I’d come here. Nowhere was safe anymore. I was never going to be free. I was going to be stuck running forever. The thought struck horror through me and my eyes widened in fear.

I stood upright fully about to run when I stopped. I gasped in pain as a stake was driven through my stomach. It was in a place that would cause pain but wouldn’t be enough to kill me. It would just make me weak. I choked on the pain, not able to breathe in air and dropped to my knees.

“Now, Juliet,” said the man leaning over me. Two guys appeared and held me firmly down, on my knees. I couldn’t move, couldn’t fight. “This can either go easy or hard. It’s all up to you and how you behave.” He crouched down so that we were face to face.

I glared at him with as much hatred as I could. “Fuck you,” I spat. I felt my fangs come out at the hatred I was feeling. I wanted to rip out his throat. I moved to go forward but the guys held me down and I could only weakly struggle. I didn’t like being held down.

“You’re in no position to fight us, sweetheart. I suggest you choose the easy way.” His hand grasped my hair and pain shot through my scalp. He jerked my head to the side and pushed the hair away from my neck.

His fangs became exposed and he smiled wickedly. “Thank you, Catherina.” He moved forward and bit into my neck. I screamed out at the pain and tears sprung from my eyes.

I struggled to get free. I used every ounce of strength I had but it was no use. I was stuck, trapped. I was only too familiar with what capture would do to me. I screamed again but this time from fear. I couldn’t let it happen to me again. I couldn’t let this happen, not again.

Then suddenly the guy was ripped off of me, his teeth tearing my neck and drawing more blood. The guards loosened their grip and I seized the opportunity. Using what strength I had left I grabbed their hands and twisted while simultaneously standing up.

They twisted with their arm and then were on the ground, probably with a dislocated shoulder. Not waiting for them to get up I pulled the stake out of my stomach and plunged it into the heart of one. As I was doing so the other got up. He ran at me and knocked me off my feet. Both of us went rolling along the ground before coming to a stop.

I could still feel the blood running from my throat. It wouldn’t heal unless I get blood. I needed blood. I stood up and disappeared up into the trees. I rustled some branches making the guy look around. Finally as he took a step forward towards one tree I dropped down behind him.

Not wasting any time I bit into his neck and tore out his throat. He dropped to the ground, dead. Just for good measure and to make sure he stayed that way I kicked his head as hard as I could.

It came off cleanly and disappeared, rolling through the undergrowth. That’s when his body fully decomposed and was just a rotting corpse. I wish youngsters wouldn’t try and take me. It never ended well for them. It all ended too quickly.

Looking around the clearing I saw the pile of ashes that belonged to the third guy. As I stared at the pile Damon stepped out of the shadows. I moved to step away from him but my legs were suddenly weak and felt like they would give out. Getting staked, losing blood, and then fighting had left me completely weak. I needed blood. I wasn’t able to heal and my neck was still bleeding.

“Damon, what are you doing here?” I asked as he advanced towards me. I tried to take a step back and stumbled. I couldn’t function.

“Saving you, Juliet. Or should I say Catherina?” he asked.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said still trying to back away and stumbling each step. Even to me my voice sounded weak. As I took another shaky step I tripped. My legs gave out and I felt he ground coming towards me.

Before I could hit it Damon had his arms around me, supporting me. The world tilted in my mind and I couldn’t see straight. I needed blood. “Damon,” I said, my voice coming out as a whisper, “blood. I need blood.” I then felt the world slip away. I shut my eyes not enjoying the vertigo feeling.

Would Damon help me? Would he even care? He loved me once. I just hope that would be enough. I hoped he could ignore the temptation my still bleeding throat must have. I hoped that he would be able to save me. Then darkness enclosed everything.

Damon’s POV

I caught her just as she was about to hit the ground. I held her up but could see she was quickly losing consciousness. “Damon,” she whispered. I even had to strain my ears to hear her. “Blood. I need blood.” Her eyes met mine for a brief moment before they closed.

I felt her heartbeat weakening and wondered what I should do. Hoisting her up in my arms I carried her easily. Her head tilted to the side and her neck was exposed. It was then that I saw the unsealing wound. The one that was causing her to become so weak. The shiny red liquid caught my eyes immediately.

The smell hit my nose and made me crave her. I wanted it, wanted it so much. My fangs protruded by themselves, something that hasn’t happened in hundreds of years. I usually had so much control and her blood was making me lose it.

I felt myself lean in towards her neck, the smell, the sight getting to me. I needed her blood. I wanted it. Like an out of body experience I felt myself press my lips to her neck.

It was as I pressed my lips to her neck that she shifted in my arms. “Damon,” she mumbled almost incoherently. It was at the sound of my name that I pulled back from her neck. I couldn’t let her die. Not in my arms.

And Stefan would absolutely be pissed if I let her die, let alone kill her. And he was no fun when he was pissed. Making up my mind I headed off towards the boarding house as fast as I could. I hoped I could hold off the desire until I got there.