Once Upon A Time In The Year 2011...
Snow White
Once Upon A Time...
There lived a beautiful young girl called Snow White. Her hair was as black as the darkest sky, her lips were as red as a rose, and her skin was as pale as snow. She lived in Beverly Hills and her mother had died from overdose when she was young. Her daddy, a famous actor, married a women twenty years his junior, named The Evil Step-Mom. After marriage, her daddy died from drug abuse and poor little Snow White was left with her evil step-mother. Her step-mom was out for plastic surgery often, so Snow White had to look after their giant mansion all by herself. She had to tell the maids what to do, and even had to make the effort to ask the cooks what she wanted for her meals, all by herself.
She wasn't allowed out, because her step-mom did not want the embarrassment of Snow White running into the step-mom's old ex, who lived down the road and was rumored to now be sleeping with the step-mom's sister. So Snow White lazed about the house, watching Jersey Shore and wasting hours on Facebook. Oh, how she longed to get out and meet up with her online friends, but that was prohibited. Many years passed, and by the time Snow White was sixteen, the step-mom had become obsessed with her looks. Step-mom began weighing herself carefully and banned certain foods from the house, which made Snow White very hungry and sad.
One day, she wanted to know who was lighter, her or Snow White. She asked Snow White to step on the scales, and was horrified to learn that Snow White was in fact 1 pound lighter then her. When Snow White was out of ear-shot, she secretly asked her personal trainer Kim to bring Snow White to McDonalds regularly. When Snow White was fat enough, Kim was to pack Snow White's old clothes that didn't fit her anymore in a box. Kim then had to bring the box to the Step-mom, to prove that Snow White was no longer The Lightest In The Land.
So one day Kim went into Snow White's room. Snow White was blasting Justin Bieber on her speakers.
"Snow? Turn off that shit," Kim snapped.
Snow White sighed and lowered the volume.
"What's up?" she asked.
"Want to come to McDonalds with me?"
Snow White smiled happily.
"No Shit! I get to go out? Awesome! Omg! I'm so, like, happy!" Snow White squealed, and followed Kim out the house into the BMW.
They went to McDonalds, and Kim ordered a Big Mac for Snow White. Just as Snow White was about to take a bite, Kim screamed loudly, startling the nearby people.
"No!" she yelled, grabbing the burger out of Snow White's delicate hands.
Snow White looked at her, surprised.
"What the fuck?" she said angrily.
"Step-Mom wants me to make you fat!"
Snow White gasped.
"Oh my god, that bitch!"
"I can't do it! I can't make you fat!" Kim cried, "I'm a trainer, I can't stand to be seeing me wreck your whole life by making you gain weight!"
They both began crying.
"Run! Hide! Get away from here! Run away!" Kim yelled at Snow White.
Snow White leapt up and began running for her life. She had a frightening journey through the city. She saw hobos and dogs and big giant cars and buskers and newspaper-sellers and in the end she collapsed in an alleyway, crying. Poor Snow White!
She woke up to a cat licking her face. She sat up with a yelp, surrounded by alleycats. They leapt back, hissing. She thought they were cute, so she began talking to them.
"Oh, don't be scared!" she said, and one cat allowed itself to be stroked by her.
She talked to the cats, and then began making her way through a new path, the cats in pursuit. She suddenly spotted a lovely little apartment. She made her way inside, and was awed at the state it was in. There was clothes and cd's and condoms littered on the floor.
"Huh. What a mess," she said to the cats.
She began singing a Miley Cyrus song with the cats as she scurried about, cleaning up. After a long day of tidying, she retired to one of the 7 beds in one of the rooms. Meanwhile, down in the city, 7 nerdy college boys were drinking their guts out. The sensible one, Doc, decided enough was enough and began to return home with his friends. Little did Snow White know that these 7 friends lived in the exact apartment she was sleeping in now! The 7 friends came in the door, drunk and exhausted.
"Holy fuck, guys?" Grumpy exclaimed, as he took a look at the altered apartment.
"Somone's broken in!" Happy said.
"Maybe it was a druggie," Bashful said nervously.
They began tip-toeing around the house, scared and confused, and shrieked in fright when one of the cats jumped out and hissed at them. Sleepy, now fully awakened, said:
"There's a hobo in the house! He's brought in all these cats!"
The nerds were utterly terrified now, and began going up the stairs. Doc slowly opened the bedroom door, his pistol cocked, and almost screamed when he saw who was sleeping in his bed.
"Fuck, guys, it's a chick!"
Immediately, all 7 of them scrambled in, eager to see the beautiful Snow White sleeping peacefully on the bed.
"She's sex," Grumpy said, admiring her.
"Should we rape her?" Dopey asked, confused, not quite sure what was going on.
"Dopey, you're sick in the head," Sleepy muttered.
Grumpy went over and put his hands on her chest lovingly. This woke Snow White from her peaceful dream. She began screaming as she saw the 7 men towering over her. She stopped screaming when she looked at them though. Spotty, unattractive, harmless.
"Oh. Soz." she said bluntly.
"Um, you have nice boobs," Dopey stuttered, staring at his feet.
Doc whacked him over the head.
"What the Fuck man?" he said, "Hello. I'm Doc. Why're you in our house,"
"Because I ran away from home and need a place to stay. My mum's crazy and she's trying to make me fat,"
There was a shocked silence.
"You can stay," Doc said, "Only if you have sex with us though,"
Snow White shrugged.
"No probs,"
So for the next 2 weeks, Snow White lived happily with the seven nerds. She cooked, cleaned and had sex. Life was good. The nerds warned her to not talk to strangers.
"Guys hate us because we finger the controls of World of Warcraft more then we finger girls. So weirdos call to the door playing pranks and stuff," they explained.
One day, when the nerds were out drinking, Snow White was alone in the apartment. There was a knock on the door. She answered and saw that it was her step-mom. Before Snow White could say anything, the Evil Step-Mom threw a cheesy burger at her face and was off. Snow White fainted from the shock and carbs.
She woke up on a hospital bed to find Robert Pattenson by her bedside. He smiled down at her.
"I found you on your porch, unconscious. I rang the ambulance. If I hadn't spotted you it would have been too late,"
They then shared a true-love's kiss. Snow White was overjoyed to be with her prince charming and away from her step-mom. And so they lived...
Happily Ever After.
The End.
There lived a beautiful young girl called Snow White. Her hair was as black as the darkest sky, her lips were as red as a rose, and her skin was as pale as snow. She lived in Beverly Hills and her mother had died from overdose when she was young. Her daddy, a famous actor, married a women twenty years his junior, named The Evil Step-Mom. After marriage, her daddy died from drug abuse and poor little Snow White was left with her evil step-mother. Her step-mom was out for plastic surgery often, so Snow White had to look after their giant mansion all by herself. She had to tell the maids what to do, and even had to make the effort to ask the cooks what she wanted for her meals, all by herself.
She wasn't allowed out, because her step-mom did not want the embarrassment of Snow White running into the step-mom's old ex, who lived down the road and was rumored to now be sleeping with the step-mom's sister. So Snow White lazed about the house, watching Jersey Shore and wasting hours on Facebook. Oh, how she longed to get out and meet up with her online friends, but that was prohibited. Many years passed, and by the time Snow White was sixteen, the step-mom had become obsessed with her looks. Step-mom began weighing herself carefully and banned certain foods from the house, which made Snow White very hungry and sad.
One day, she wanted to know who was lighter, her or Snow White. She asked Snow White to step on the scales, and was horrified to learn that Snow White was in fact 1 pound lighter then her. When Snow White was out of ear-shot, she secretly asked her personal trainer Kim to bring Snow White to McDonalds regularly. When Snow White was fat enough, Kim was to pack Snow White's old clothes that didn't fit her anymore in a box. Kim then had to bring the box to the Step-mom, to prove that Snow White was no longer The Lightest In The Land.
So one day Kim went into Snow White's room. Snow White was blasting Justin Bieber on her speakers.
"Snow? Turn off that shit," Kim snapped.
Snow White sighed and lowered the volume.
"What's up?" she asked.
"Want to come to McDonalds with me?"
Snow White smiled happily.
"No Shit! I get to go out? Awesome! Omg! I'm so, like, happy!" Snow White squealed, and followed Kim out the house into the BMW.
They went to McDonalds, and Kim ordered a Big Mac for Snow White. Just as Snow White was about to take a bite, Kim screamed loudly, startling the nearby people.
"No!" she yelled, grabbing the burger out of Snow White's delicate hands.
Snow White looked at her, surprised.
"What the fuck?" she said angrily.
"Step-Mom wants me to make you fat!"
Snow White gasped.
"Oh my god, that bitch!"
"I can't do it! I can't make you fat!" Kim cried, "I'm a trainer, I can't stand to be seeing me wreck your whole life by making you gain weight!"
They both began crying.
"Run! Hide! Get away from here! Run away!" Kim yelled at Snow White.
Snow White leapt up and began running for her life. She had a frightening journey through the city. She saw hobos and dogs and big giant cars and buskers and newspaper-sellers and in the end she collapsed in an alleyway, crying. Poor Snow White!
She woke up to a cat licking her face. She sat up with a yelp, surrounded by alleycats. They leapt back, hissing. She thought they were cute, so she began talking to them.
"Oh, don't be scared!" she said, and one cat allowed itself to be stroked by her.
She talked to the cats, and then began making her way through a new path, the cats in pursuit. She suddenly spotted a lovely little apartment. She made her way inside, and was awed at the state it was in. There was clothes and cd's and condoms littered on the floor.
"Huh. What a mess," she said to the cats.
She began singing a Miley Cyrus song with the cats as she scurried about, cleaning up. After a long day of tidying, she retired to one of the 7 beds in one of the rooms. Meanwhile, down in the city, 7 nerdy college boys were drinking their guts out. The sensible one, Doc, decided enough was enough and began to return home with his friends. Little did Snow White know that these 7 friends lived in the exact apartment she was sleeping in now! The 7 friends came in the door, drunk and exhausted.
"Holy fuck, guys?" Grumpy exclaimed, as he took a look at the altered apartment.
"Somone's broken in!" Happy said.
"Maybe it was a druggie," Bashful said nervously.
They began tip-toeing around the house, scared and confused, and shrieked in fright when one of the cats jumped out and hissed at them. Sleepy, now fully awakened, said:
"There's a hobo in the house! He's brought in all these cats!"
The nerds were utterly terrified now, and began going up the stairs. Doc slowly opened the bedroom door, his pistol cocked, and almost screamed when he saw who was sleeping in his bed.
"Fuck, guys, it's a chick!"
Immediately, all 7 of them scrambled in, eager to see the beautiful Snow White sleeping peacefully on the bed.
"She's sex," Grumpy said, admiring her.
"Should we rape her?" Dopey asked, confused, not quite sure what was going on.
"Dopey, you're sick in the head," Sleepy muttered.
Grumpy went over and put his hands on her chest lovingly. This woke Snow White from her peaceful dream. She began screaming as she saw the 7 men towering over her. She stopped screaming when she looked at them though. Spotty, unattractive, harmless.
"Oh. Soz." she said bluntly.
"Um, you have nice boobs," Dopey stuttered, staring at his feet.
Doc whacked him over the head.
"What the Fuck man?" he said, "Hello. I'm Doc. Why're you in our house,"
"Because I ran away from home and need a place to stay. My mum's crazy and she's trying to make me fat,"
There was a shocked silence.
"You can stay," Doc said, "Only if you have sex with us though,"
Snow White shrugged.
"No probs,"
So for the next 2 weeks, Snow White lived happily with the seven nerds. She cooked, cleaned and had sex. Life was good. The nerds warned her to not talk to strangers.
"Guys hate us because we finger the controls of World of Warcraft more then we finger girls. So weirdos call to the door playing pranks and stuff," they explained.
One day, when the nerds were out drinking, Snow White was alone in the apartment. There was a knock on the door. She answered and saw that it was her step-mom. Before Snow White could say anything, the Evil Step-Mom threw a cheesy burger at her face and was off. Snow White fainted from the shock and carbs.
She woke up on a hospital bed to find Robert Pattenson by her bedside. He smiled down at her.
"I found you on your porch, unconscious. I rang the ambulance. If I hadn't spotted you it would have been too late,"
They then shared a true-love's kiss. Snow White was overjoyed to be with her prince charming and away from her step-mom. And so they lived...
Happily Ever After.
The End.
♠ ♠ ♠
I don't really know why i wrote this...