Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

Franks POV

I watched her with caution as she slowly stirred her coffee, not actually paying any attention to it. I didn’t say anything. I waited for her to make the first move. I was kind of glad nothing had been said yet. I have been trying to process what she told me earlier.

She’s married.

This was one of the last things I expected to hear from her. I can’t lie. I would have done it if I could have gotten out of my own damn head, but of course I can’t get away from Angela no matter how hard I tried. Though I was pissed about it at first, I can’t honestly say that I regret not doing it. What if I had? I might have made a lot of bad decisions with the girls I’ve slept with, but I’ve never stooped as low to having sex with a married woman. Not that there is anything wrong with Christine or that it would be shameful to be with her, but to sleep with any married women is low, even for me. It’s still weird to think that she’s actually married. I tried my best to act natural. Someone had to because it was clear that she was barely keeping it together. I wasn’t sure what to do after she told me, but it was clear we had to talk. I drove us to the closest coffee shop in hopes to lighten the mood. I don’t think it was really doing anything, but it was worth a try. After an agonizing amount of time, she finally turned to me and sighed.

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t actually look at me. She kept her head down low as she abandoned her coffee. "I don't know what to say, Frank. I'm so... embarrassed. I never should have dragged you into this. I'm sorry..."

"I’m sorry, too.”

“No, you don’t have to say it anymore. Besides, it really is my fault.”

Instead of saying something I would regret, I went for the safe route and decided not to say anything. I leaned across the table to get closer to her and hovered over my coffee. It took a few more moments before she also leaned forward and finally began to explain herself.

“Look, it’s really complicated, but I technically am still married. I didn’t mean to let it get as far as I did. I mean, don't get me wrong, I care about you. More than I intended. I just needed a distraction from him. I just can’t take it anymore.” She paused for a moment and I heard her sniffle. I looked up to see that her eyes were starting to spring up more tears. I thought about reaching out and grabbing her hand but now probably wasn’t the most appropriate time. Instead, I clung a little tighter to my cup. She cleared her throat before starting again.

“I hate him so much. I’m fucking miserable. I know he’s cheating on me, but I just can’t bring myself to leave him. Then I thought I'd give him a taste of his own medicine... Jesus, what was I thinking? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. If I could just find out what I did wrong, if he would just give me a chance to fix it."

She turned her gaze to the table and I watched as a tear splashed off the lid of her cup. I rolled my lip ring with my tongue and waited a second before I reached my hand out and gently placed it on hers. She looked up at me through her lashes and sighed.

"I really didn't mean for this to happen. I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I understand if you just want to leave. I can email all the homework to you so you--"

"Christine, stop. I don't care about the class right now. I'm not leaving you." I grabbed her hand with both of mine now and pulled them closer to me. "Believe it or not, I actually understand where you're coming from. Look, I can't speak for.. for..." I gave her a puzzled look when I realized I didn't know this guys name.

"Mike." She said his name with a bitter edge.

"Mike. Well, I can't say what's going through that guys head, but if he's anything like me, it's not you're fault. I can't imagine you being able to do something to him that would make him hurt you like that. It's his own damn fault. He's selfish and only worried about what makes him feel good at the time. He might care about you to some degree, but he will always care more about himself. He's going to keep hurting you and pushing you away and until you find the strength to leave him, he's never going to realize he's just throwing away the best thing that has ever happened to him. Assholes like that have to screw up the one good thing and one person that cares the most about them to realize that it's the best they'll ever have... and now it's just gone... and it's their fault..."

I trailed off, not realizing I was squeezing her hand a little too tight. Who was I even talking about now? I don't know if I was giving her advice or myself. I felt something rush through me. Realization. I was Angela's Mike. I fucked up the best thing that happened to me and it took me until now to realize this was all my fault. I felt a pulling in my chest as I looked up and stared into her eyes. I was surprised to see that she looked sympathetic though a few tears had still managed to escape. I shook my head, bringing myself back to reality and reached up with one of my hands and brushed the tears off her cheek.

"If you want any chance of this working, you have to let him go, and if he doesn't try to make it right, he doesn't deserve you anyway. Promise me you'll let him go..."

"Frank... It's ok."

"What is?"

"You still love her. You finally understand the pain you caused her and you're ready to make it right. I'm sorry it took my shitty situation to help you see that, but I'm glad I could help."

"Christine... this wasn't for me. I'm trying to help you--"

"But in turn you helped yourself, and that's ok. I truly am happy that you're moving forward. I'll be honest with you, though... Mike is nothing like you. He doesn't talk, or act, or think the way you do. The only reason I'm afraid to leave him is because I know I'm not the best thing he's ever had. He's never treated me like it and never will. I settled because I loved him at the time, but now I realize I'll always love him more than he loves me. I'm scared because when I leave, I know he's not coming back for me. You helped me understand that just now. But I'm ok with that. I'm jealous that you already found the one thing that you can't live without, but I'm still young, though. I'm finally feeling like it's ok to break, and when I'm done, I just have to put myself back together and start over."

I watched as a few more tears fell from her eyes, but noticed that she was genuinely smiling through them. I still can't help that I feel a little guilty that I subconsciously turned this on me as well. I gave her a weak smile and ran my thumb over her knuckles.

"Quit wasting your time, then. There's someone out there who would drop everything for you, but you're never going to find them until you leave him. I'm sorry I couldn't be that one person for you, but I can be your friend. I'll help you in anyway that I can. I swear, we can get each other through this if you promise to try."

"Well, you are truly an amazing guy. Though I can only hope to find someone like you, I think I can live with being friends. I promise I'll try if you do."

"Deal." I smirked and stood up from the table pulling Christine up with me. There was no hesitation as she quickly wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my chest. I let my arms wrap around her shoulders as we held each other in a comforting embrace. After a few moments she pulled away and looked up into my eyes, a smirk playing at her lips. I cocked my head to the side. "What?"

"If were going to be helping each other, than I think we should start with you. That would be a little easier."

"Help me? You already did. What else could you do for me?"

"We gotta get your ass on the next plane to Cali. You gotta get the girl back."

"Let me finish saving the girl here, first."

"Yeah, yeah..." She shook her head and stepped away from me. "Let's get that ticket."