Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

Angela's POV

I went through my closet for what felt like the tenth time before throwing my hands up in defeat. I was sick of seeing the same clothes in my closet and wanted something different to wear. I kept telling myself that it was just a bonfire and I had no one to impress. I'm aware this isn't how I usually act, and for someone who didn't grow up with much, I was usually thankful for the clothes I did have. Today was not the case, though. I hate to admit it, but I think Charleen is rubbing off on me. I'm not sure if I'm picking up on her snotty attitude or if I felt the need to outdo her due to jealousy. Either way, it was annoying to say the least.

I had texted Zack when I got out of my last class. He informed me that the bonfire would start around 8 and sent me the address. He also told me to bring whatever alcohol I wanted. I told him I'd see him there but didn't reply about the alcohol. I didn't want to let him know that I wasn't twenty one, yet. That seems silly. I would have to tell him eventually, but for now I have other things to deal with.

Before I could change my mind, I grabbed my bag and slipped on some shoes and decided to make my way into town. I know I should just deal with the clothes I have. No one here had ever seen them, but they had a way of making me stand out. I was sick of the awkward stares when I would walk out into public and my skin was radiating from how pale it was. It also seemed like I was the only one on campus that listened to the music I listen to and dress the way I dress. I know I'm over exaggerating but with Charleen and her friends constantly around me, I was starting to feel that way.

I finally came out on a street that seemed to have a strip of clothing stores along with other things. I wasn't really sure where to start so I just picked the closest store. I stepped inside and felt several pairs of eyes fall on me. This happened everywhere I went, so I did my best to ignore it. I wasn't really seeing anything that fit my style, but I guess that was the point. I sighed and tried my best to have an open mind. I saw a stripped, bright orange shirt hanging on a rack and made my way over to it. I liked orange and this shirt looked to be like the kind that's made with sheer material and hung off one shoulder. That's how the mannequin sporting the blue one next to it presented it, anyway. I plucked it from its spot and examined it. My eyes fell on the price tag and I did my best not to throw up. I gently sat it back down on the rack and let my eyes graze the rest of the store like I was searching for something. When I obviously didn't find what I was looking for, I quickly made my way out the front door and back on to the street. When I was outside I shook my head and blew out a gust of air.

"That thing must have been laced with gold. Ninety five dollars my ass..." I grumbled as I made my way to the next store. I didn't seem to be having much luck. I was half tempted to leave and find the nearest Hott Topic or Pac Sun or something along that lines, but I decided against it. I came here on a mission and I was determined. After about another hour of shopping, I decided on an outfit and bought it before I changed my mind. I did my best not to look at the total and told myself it was for the best.

I had made it back to the dorm and had changed into my new outfit. I stood in the way of the bathroom door, examining myself in the full length mirror. I had settled on a black tank top I already owned with my new red top over it that had a complete lace back. I had purchased a pair of short shorts that seemed to be the big thing with girls over here. You know, the ones that are already torn up and worn looking. Not the ones that your ass hangs out, but short for me. I didn't want to completely lose myself, so I chose to tie the whole outfit together with my classic black and white converse. I had opted to leave my hair down, but I always carry a hair tie just in case. I hadn't changed my makeup much. I did learn that concealer can be a good thing when it's the right shade and isn't caked on, so I started adding it to my daily makeup routine. I had darkened the eyeliner a little and vìola! I was stunned by how different I looked. I was turning around once more to admire the back of my shirt when the door to our room flew open causing me to jump. I glared at Charleen and one of her drones as I straightened myself out.

"Damn it, Charleen. What did I say about knocking? What if I was naked or something?"

"One, this is my room as well and two, it's not like I've never seen another girl naked." She rolled her eyes and sat down on her bed, her little minion in tow. I did my best not to make a lesbian comment to her though and began shoving my phone and iPod into my bag. It took her a minute before she realized something was different about me. "Wow, where'd you get that outfit? It's so... not you."

"I can wear whatever I want. I just needed something different for the bonfire tonight."

"Well... it actually looks good. Better than those ratty old band T-shirts you always wear. You'd never get a guy in those things."

"I'm not like you, Charleen. I don't try to get a guy at every party. I just want to have a good time." I smirked at her, trying to fight the urge to punch her. I saw her attack dog of a friend squirming to say something to me, but Charleen didn't give her the signal. She seemed to have this under control.

"Who said I was trying? I can't help that they flock to me." She said very matter of factly. It was my turn to roll my eyes as I threw my bag over my shoulder.

"Nice taking to you." I said nodding to them before walking out the door. I groaned as I made my way down the hall and out of the building. I caught a taxi and made my way to the address that Zack had given me. After about a twenty minute drive, we had arrived at our destination. I looked out the window and couldn't stop my mouth from slacking open in awe. This couldn't be right. I turned to the taxi driver to confirm the address. He assured me this was the place. I paid him and exited the taxi. I started up at the house unable to move for a moment. This place is fucking huge! I looked down the street in both directions before gazing back up at this beautiful two story beach home. My initial reaction was excitement but that was quickly followed by fear. What if this was a joke? What if no one was here? Charleen would never let me live it down. I didn't see any lights on in the house. I was starting to panic when I heard someone whistle from the side of the house. I squinted my eyes to see through the dim lighting that was now moving past dusk. I caught a glimpse of silver glints coming from his face and I felt my whole body sigh with relief. I made my way up the stone walk way, up the short incline and over to the side of the house. Zack waited until I was standing next to him to lead the way back behind the house.

"Hey, I'm really glad you made it." He said as he nudged his arm into mine. I looked at him and smiled shyly.

"Thanks. Sorry it took so long."

"Nah, you're just in time." He nodded for me to go ahead of him on the stone path that continued around the back of the house. When we stepped into the back yard I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped me. The back yard was bigger and better that the front yard. It declined slowly and it seemed to just melt into the ocean. Down on the actually sandy part, there were some people sitting around the fire or standing near it, casually chatting. I suddenly felt intrusive. I didn't know any of these people. I recognized two or three guys from the day at the beach but that was about it. As we got closer to the fire, people began turning around to see who Zack had invited. I fought the urge to turn and run back to campus and forced a smile instead. We stopped in front of the guys that I saw at the beach the other day and I felt Zack put one of his hands on the small of my back. I shivered and instinctively crossed my arms over my chest.

"Matt, Johnny, this is Angela. We ran into her at the beach the other day." He placed a little pressure on my back, urging me forward. I extended my hand to them and shook theirs, nodding at them. Matt had an amused look on his face as he placed his drink back in his hand, his lit cigarette in the other.

"Matt. Sorry about the other day. You can blame Johnny for that." The first guy nodded toward the smaller guy sitting around the fire. The mention of his name made him sit up and look around.

"What did I do?"

"Exactly. I'm Brian by the way." The second guy said as he chuckled.

"Nice to meet you." My smile was starting to become more genuine. These guys were starting to remind me of the guys back home. Aesthetically they looked different then my friends back home. None of these guys were lacking in piercings or tattoos. I could never imagine poor Mikey, Gerard, or Ray with any tattoos of their own. My felt a slight twinge in my heart as I began thinking about them back home. Before I could let my mind wander any farther, or to Frank for that matter, I shook my head and brought myself back to reality. I was here to have a good time, and I didn't want to be reminded of what I left back home right now. I looked over my shoulder at Zack and gave him a genuine smile. He looked over to Matt and Brian, nodding to them before directing me over to the fire.

He began to introduce me to everyone around the fire. There was Johnny, who seemed pretty drunk at the moment. Then there was James. There were two girls sitting around the fire, Sara and Jamie. They were Johnny and Brian's girlfriends, respectfully. Zack told me that Matt's girlfriend, Erin, was on her way. James was currently single, as was Zack. I had a hard time believing this but didn't mention it out loud.

There was a few awkward minutes of not knowing what to say or do next, but Zack retrieved two beers for us and I finally started settling in. I laughed as the guys told some stories about the crazy stuff they had gotten into, and I exchanged some stories about my home in Jersey. They seemed pretty interested. None of them had ever been, but of course like everyone else in this town, they had heard their own share of stories.

"Is it really that bad?"

"Ever seen a dead body?"

"You're probably like the toughest chick in Cali."

I had heard all these comments before, it I just laughed it off. I told them California wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. I told them about my dumb ass roommate and how I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb everywhere I went. The first to laugh was Zack.

"Trust me, you're not the only one like that here. I don't know if you noticed... we're all a little different here."

"Hell yeah!" Matt said as he took the last swig of his beer. He hopped up, stumbling a little and made his way to the cooler to grab some more. At that point, everyone kind of broke off into their own little conversations. I sat back, resting on my elbows, extending my legs to the fire. My feet were numb and I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the breeze coming off the water. Zack joined me, leaning back on his elbows and gazing up at the cloudless sky.

"You look really nice." He said casually beside me.

I felt my face heat up as I turned my head slightly to get a look at him. He kept his eyes glued upwards. Before I could say anything, he continued.

"Do you really hate this place?"

"Well... no I guess not. Charlene's just making it really difficult. There are some perks to living here I suppose." I turned my face quickly upward, staring at the vast sky just as he was before I could see his reaction. I felt braver than I actually was thanks to the alcohol. I could tell he had shifted to look at me. Just as he did to me earlier, I kept my eyes up, not giving anything away. I saw him smirk out of my peripherals. He didn't turn away from me. Another breeze came off the water and I couldn't stop myself from shuddering

"You cold?"

"Kind of. I thought Cali was supposed to be hot."

"Nah, just humid. It gets pretty chilly at night. Especially on the water. You need a jacket?"

"I don't want to take yours from you."

"We can go grab another one."

I turned to look at him just as he started to stand up. He offered his hand to me, pulling me up along side him. As we made our way up to the house, I heard Matt call out to us.

"Where you going?"

"Jacket." Zack yelled back.

"Pfft... yeah, sure." Matt laughed as he went back to his conversation with James. I felt my cheeks flush. Maybe I could blame it on the cold air. Zack typed in the code to the alarm system and the door clicked open. As we stepped inside, I took a look around the vast house.

"You live here?" I asked in awe before I could stop myself.

"Yeah. Me, my parents and my little brother." He said rather nonchalantly. When he turned to lol at me he must have seen the look on my face. He cocked his head to the sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I've never seen a house this big." I felt a little foolish as I continued to look around the house. Zack led me through the kitchen, then living room, the. Up the stairs to what I presumed was his room.

"Really? It's pretty nice I guess. My parents have decent jobs. I don't know, I guess this is just an average middle class home here. Are they not like this in Jersey?"

"Not even close." I was a little embarrassed to admit my family was probably below middle class, so I stopped the conversation there. We had walked to the end of the hall where he pushed open the door to reveal a very dark room. I'm not just saying that because the lights were off. He had posters all over the walls and it was painted black, red and white. Much different from the rest of the house. He flipped on the lamp next to his bed and began rummaging through his dresser. I plopped down on the bed, feeling the alcohol slosh in my stomach. I groaned and laid back. A moment later, Zack was standing over me hold the jacket, a lopsided grin on his face.

"You feeling ok?"

"Yeah, just a little dizzy." I looked over and caught a glimpse of the clock on his nightstand. It was nearly two. I lifted myself off the bed and stood up only to find myself standing just a few inches from him. I felt my cheeks flush again as I took the jacket from him. "Thanks." I mumbled as I slipped it on and tried to zip it up. The zipper kept getting caught half way up and I huffed in frustration. Zack chuckled and took the zipper from my hand.

"I forgot, this jackets a little old. The zipper doesn't like to work sometimes. You have to hold it..." He paused as he gripped the bottom of the jacket with one hand, his other wiggling the zipper. I watched his face as he tried to fix the zipper. My breathing became a little heavier as I watched his hands make quick work of the mess I made. He was standing so close to me. He smelled really nice. I tried to control myself but the alcohol was making that difficult. Just then I heard the zipper pop and slid upward. "Just right." He breathed out when he finally fixed it. His fingers grazed my shirt as he zipped it up, causing me to shiver. He looked down into my eyes and smiled. I managed a weak one as I concentrated on how close he was to me. I felt myself start to lean forward when I noticed he was leaning forward too. I felt my heart start to beat out of my chest when, to my surprise, he moved right past me and flicked off the bedside lamp. He took a step back from me and smiled, offering me his hand. "Ready to go back out there?"

"Sure..." I said, out of breath. I felt my face radiating with embarrassment. I'm glad he couldn't see it. I mentally beat myself up as we made our way back outside. What the hell were you thinking, Angela?