I Need Him, My Gerard

“Are you ready?” He breathed, his shining eyes glazed over with the softness of his lust.
“I’ve never been more ready Gee,” I whispered. Somehow the light atmosphere from before had dissolved in our passion, and we were both very serious. This painting was going to be sensual, Gerard always paints his emotion. I was a little worried about this. Gerard was an incredible artist but I seriously doubted his talent to draw ME beautiful.
“Ok get comfy, we’re gunna be here a while love,” Gerard mumbled, setting all his equipment out. It was a wonder the amount of things he’d squashed into that tiny bag of his.
“I am comfy,” I whispered, but he detected the shaky undercurrent to my tone. In a few seconds he was across the room and kneeling in front of me.
“What’s wrong love? Frankie? Are you ok? Do you hurt somewhere? Need to lay down?” He fussed over me, his concerned eyes scanning my body for any signs of discomfort or stress to my wounds.
“Nah that’s ok Gee, I’m just a little nervous,” I said, trying to give him an encouraging smile.
“Nervous about what baby?” He asked and I sighed.
“It’s silly really,” I reasoned and he shook his head.
“Frankie love, if it’s important to you, it isn’t silly, and it’s important to me, too,” Gerard encouraged, kissing my jaw as that was the closest part of me to him, seeing as he was kneeling down. It was sweet, and of course I trusted Gerard, more than anyone, and I’d shared loads of my insecurities with him, but not this part. My low self esteem, lack of self confidence, is not something I’ve even been able to talk to him about, because that’s not who I’ve always made myself out to be. I’m flamboyant, over confident, fun Frankie, and I don’t want to worry him, or make him see me differently. I had to now though, he was looking increasingly more concerned, and it wasn’t fair to make him worry, not after all the worry he’d already been through over me recently.
“Ok, well its just, you’re an amazing painter Gee. I don’t want to disappoint you. You’re the only one that sees me as beautiful, and I don’t think you can paint me beautiful,” I explained and he looked as if he were going to cry.
“Oh Frankie, no, no you must never think like that love!” He cried and I bit my lip.
“See I didn’t want to make you cry Gee,” I whispered and he stopped.
“Why can’t you see yourself properly. You ARE beautiful Frankie, so beautiful. Do you even know the amount of times I’ve got jealous when other people have looked at you and flirted with you? You always seem so oblivious to it all, and that’s why I’ve been able to stand all the attention you get. I love you and I’m gunna paint you exactly how I see you, which is the embodiment of perfection. Maybe this will show you, how truly beautiful you are,” he said, his words coming out strong and clear.
“That’s how I see you, Gee, you’ve got it the wrong way round,” I mumbled and he sighed.
“How about we just accept each others opinions on the other,” he said and I nodded, although I didn’t really believe it.
“Yeah, ok, lets get painting, sorry,” I said, shrugging my insecurity off and smiling. He studied my face for a few moments more before sighing, pecking my lips and going back to his side of the room. I got back into my position and looked at Gerard for some guidance.
“Don’t smile Frankie, just look, give me the look you give me when I burn our dinner,” he said, trying to make me laugh, to lighten the mood and make me feel better, but he failed a little.
“So my loving disapproval look?” I asked and he laughed.
“Exactly that, you look absolutely adorable like that,” He said, chuckling lightly. I put the face on and Gerard smiled in satisfaction, turning to his canvas and disappearing behind it.
************************************************************************
Being painted is so damned boring! I’ve been sitting here for three fucking hours and I haven’t even got to watch Gerard’s face. SO yeah. Things are really, really dull now.
“I love you Gee,” I said and his beautiful face finally popped up over the canvas. I had to crack up then, and he frowned.
“What’s funny?” He asked, confused and I laughed.
“You have paint all over you baby,” I giggled and he grinned.
“I wouldn’t be a true artiste if I wasn’t coated in paint when I worked,” He joked and I shifted in my seat a little.
“NO! Don’t you move Frankie!” He yelled and I froze.
“Sorry, sorry!” I shrieked, staying where I was and settling back into what I was sure was my original position.
“Thanks Frankie, I’m almost done love, I swear. Well no, I’m not really done, but I’m almost done enough that you can move.” He reassured me and I smiled at him.
After what definitely seemed like longer than almost done I was finally allowed to move!
“All done Frankie, love you, thanks,” Gerard said, beaming at me over the canvas.
“Can I see?” I asked shakily and he nodded, beckoning me over. I wasn’t sure I could stand after sitting down for so long, but I attempted it anyway. I walked shakily over to Gerard but my shaking wasn’t anything to do with how long I’d sat down. It was more because I don’t want to see how painful the image is. Gerard can’t paint me beautiful, its not really possible, so there must be something wrong with it, something that Gerard is hoping I won’t be too upset about.
“What do you think?” He asked, and I couldn’t say anything at all. He made me look good. No better than that, beautiful. I know I’m not, but I guess this is how Gerard sees me. The sensual lust that Gerard had felt was there in the painting, and I really, really liked it.
“That’s amazing Gee,” I whispered breathlessly and he beamed.
“See? See how beautiful you are?” He asked and I grinned.
“I guess so? This is how you see me?” I asked, disbelievingly.
“Yeah, always Frankie,” he said, his voice becoming more grave and his face softening. He leaned in and kissed me, and I kissed him back, holding him to me with more force than usual. He was mostly the dominant one, and my boldness and dominance shocked him, I could feel that. Then he let out a little groan that was almost animalistic, so I guess he liked my dominant side then!

Eventually Gerard broke the kiss and smiled at me in a dazed, amazed sort of way.
“What?” I asked, smiling gently.
“You never stop surprising me, do you?” He mused and I laughed.
“That’s the aim of the game Gee,” I laughed and he laughed.
“Yeah, keeps things interesting,” he grinned.
Little did he know, things were about to get very interesting indeed.