Why Am I So Scared Of This?

I met him through my friend Sophia. She was the one to have two year relationships where my longest one had been about four months, most had not even come close to that.

We were one our vacation in Maine and she kept talking about him. she would endlessly go on about how he paintballed and played xbox just like me. goody another boys ass I can kick and make cry when it comes to COD.

by the end of our first day sitting on the beach watching the sun set I understood what she was trying to do. Set. Me. Up. ugh I hate that.

She knew I was falling in love with a boy from Mass and she knew I was going to get my heart broken yet again. She never trusted me to choose my own boys, Ever since Travis sexually harassed me in 8th grade well she kinda wanted to kill all of my boyfriends I started dating.

I did have a bad streak of choosing jerks who broke my heart. I was used to it by now somewhat a bad ass and hardcore when it came to boys. All I really knew was that most boys wanted a girl who could paintball, play COD, look gorgeous and tanned (I'm Italian), and have brains to. Well as a side I liked to play a little game with the hopeless nerds I attracted. I know mean bitchy and arrogant but that's just part of my charm.

As we were walking down the beach I noticed she slowed down and was staring at a group of boys playing football. I would be the one to go jump in and show up their spirial and Sophia would watch and try to chatch the eye of the most prepy one.

This fact alone made me skepitical of Geddis. I wasn't into the clingly lets get married preppy jounior boys sophia dated. This was the summer before our sophmore year and I wanted to finish the summer at Hermit island free, and to spend me time becoming a bronze Italian goddess for school.

Soph had different plans. we were going for our nightly walk and she spotted the boys again. This time she blushed. The blonde preppy football player winked at her as she walked by in her jean mini skirt and tank top. I had to admit she looked amazing. Soph is tall and lanky like a model with chesnut hair that sweeps to her sholders and deep blue eyes. She always looked atleast pretty and the sun on the island was giving her a cute trail of freckles across her nose. to contrast I had black hair died of coarse that fell to my sholders in curls, I was short and curvy, with brownish goldish eyes. we were basically opsites.

A few of the boys were checking me out but I could care less. I was more curious about the strange species of sea weed that had washed up on shore. Did I mention I was a nerd too? well I am.

When I was done examining I saw that Soph was twirling her hair. yup she liked this one. Great we would never make it back to the campsite before my two cousins devoured all of dinner. Soph didn't have to worry she was a veg head so no one dared to go near her tofu fake meat shit. I however was going to be missing out on stake

. Soph was normally shy but she seemed to be doing fine without me. A few of the boys tried to engage me in conversation. I make it clear I wasn't interested by jumping in the freezing ocean.

It felt orgasmic, I love the ocean, everything about it makes me feel alive. I plunged under quickly then ran out and gave Soph a big hug. she squeaked and kicked water at me from where she was standing. That didn't matter much, I was already dripping, with no towel...crap.

Oh well it didn't matter I'm only 15 once. The boys just knda stared awkwardly as we ran and shrieked while splashing each other. I glanced over my shoulder and saw them give each other a "what the hell?" look just before we disappeared.

"hey Em I liked that one!" soph said with a pouty face. I knew she was half kidding. She was used to my antics but she really did want to hang out with that guy but I chased her away before they made plans.

"Well you know he will most likely be there tomorrow, oh darn another day of sunbathing what shale we ever do?" she smiled as we hopped on our bikes.

we rode to our campsite and my cousins looked up as we walked into the campsite. Dougie and Eli are basically like my big brothers. they jumped up and lazily put there arms around us with there eyes full of curiosity. Soph blushed.

"hey lookie here, looks like they are late because of boys. such 15 year old girls!" exclaimed Eli. Soph blushed even brighter. I just started at them like I was pissed but they knew better.

"bomb really? boys? I thought you never missed a meal!" loathing my nickname and my notorious reputation for eating anyone out of house and home,

I snapped back "blame it on Soph and her preppy boys" I say cracking a smile. Dougie and Eli proceeded to give us both noogies and we all gather around the table to enjoy our camping feast.

Later that night in our sandy, over stuffed tent, Soph continued to talk up Geddis. I half listen while dosing off. being in the sun and heat all day really wears you out.

I roll over and smell my pillow it smells like campfire and the air matress creaks. I fall alseep to the sound of sophs voice like I have every night we have been on this trip.

I dream and I dream about Geddis, Ive met him once or twice at our friend sadie's parties. The parties she throws are crazy. I know that hes good looking and I also noticed how he was kind of protective of me. When I dream. I dream about being in love with him, and feeling content being near him. Cuddling, having him close, having him protect me and take care of me.

I wake up sweating and scared. I don't fall in love that's Sophia's job. I cant stand the thought of falling in love so I vow not to talk to Geddis. Ever. No matter how much she begs.