Why Am I So Scared Of This?

"remind me again why I'm doing this?" I asked in a slightly pissed off tone. Sophia had, surprise, surprise, convinced me to go to yet another party. Where I knew Geddis was going to be. I was excited and scared by this fact.

"because you love me" Soph chirped with a smile. We were going to our best friend Sadie's. I even let Soph do my make-up, with only alot of protesting.

it was October and Soph was still going strong with that same boy from Maine. she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she surveyed the outfit she had put me in. I had to admit I looked good. She knew how to dress my body better then I did. I had on hip hugging jeans with a slight flare, and a tight hulter top. It was alittle cold but Soph insisdted I wore it.

I slipped on my converses but she shook her head and handed me a pair of sexy black heels. They looked like they could be used as weapons! There was no way I could walk in them. I mumbled and put them on. I was about Sophs height now. she did some final adjustments to my hair which was falling half way down my back. I know I know. My hair grows abnorally fast.

Soph took a brush to it so my waves were softer then normal. She has decided a few weeks before that I should go back to my normal hair color so it was a light brown.

Soph had on a red dress that flared slightly at the waist and came to just above her knee. On anyone else it would have looked slutty but she pulled it off. I looked at her ballet flats with envy.

We left her room just as Tom (the boy from the beach) pulled into the drive way he was our ride and the DD. Tom walked in the door and made us twirl around in a circle, I almost broke my ankle in the process. Tom hugged and kissed Soph, and smiled at me. She looked so happy, and we headed out to his car.

He has a mustang, a beautiful 67. I looked under the hood earlier this year and It was just amazing. Im speechless, I love his car so much.

We drove to Sadie's and the music was blaring. People were already drunkenly dancing. I surveyed her massive entry way and only a few people were here compared to who useally came. Then I relized it was only 9 o'clock.

Soph was dragging Tom around the room introducing him to everyone she could get attention from. I chuckled to myself and went to grab a beer. Social events were entertaining for me to survey. since I was never really connected to that many people, I prefured to stay a mystery, I useally just sat in the corner sipping my one beer for the night.

I knew I would end up driving home by the way Soph was shoving drinks into Toms hands.I didn't mind. I got my license in September and I often was the responsible one. except for when it came to school. I was more into art and music and science but all of my other subjects were what we called at my privit school fails. They were C's. I mean come on not like its the end of the world. Soph however got straight As at the public school she now went to.

As I was brooding over my grades and starring out the window into the woods that surrounded Sadie's I herd someone slump against the window beside me.

"hey Priencess" he said in his innocent way. That would be Peter. He is my best friend of all time. Also hes the only one who is allowed to call me that.

He doesn't drink or smoke or anything fun really except hang out with me. Oh and he kinda taught me how to play COD.

Peter is 5 foot 8, with shaggy black hair and the most beautiful eye you will ever see. they changed from intense green to sky blue depending on his moods. He loves Greenday and refuses to wear skinny jeans. Despite my pleading.

Hey, they would look good on him! hes just that skinny.

"hey Peter" I say with a smile giving him a bear hug. I love my best friend. He knows everything bad about me, even the bad stuff, and he didn't run away. he noticed that I was on edge.

"em, what up? your so tense, that's not like you, is it Geddis again?" yup he even knew about the situation with Geddis.

"yea, I just can't help but feeling that there's something there for me, I have to work hard to keep from talking to him. That has never happened to me." I say with a slight frown.

Peter grabs my hand that's free, puts down my drink and twirls me around making me giggle.

"just go for it! what the worse that happens? you fall in love? give the poor boy a chance hes been eyeing you for months" I think yes that's exactly it, I don't want to get my heart ripped out again. but I smile and nudge him.

"what, you haven't beaten him up yet for staring at your best freind?" he gives me a look full of trouble and kisses my cheek.

"never! that's not fair I cant have you all to my self all the time!" I smirk knowing hes kidding.

his girlfriend Carrissa walks over and I give her a huge hug. I love that girl. shes tiny, hyper and nerdy. shes perfect for Peter. It helps that she understands our best friend dynamic. He drapes his arm around her with ease and they look perfect together. I smile and glance around the room again.

I notice that the huge house is slowly filling up. I also notice Geddis talking to some of my friends. he looks up and sees me. He smiles a bright smile. God his smile is amazing. Its then I realize his smile just took my breath away. I need another drink. I was broken away from my trance by Peter.

"hello? earth to emmy! I asked you a question. I shake my head and he look into my eyes he sees whats going on and he just smiles. He knows I'm falling in love. One of the things hes always been afraid of but he won't show me the fear. Hes secretly extremely protective of me.

"huh? what? sorry I was distracted by the song that was playing." I lied easily. The song that was blaring through the speakers is lady gaga bad romance. go figure.

"I asked if your excited to get your but kicked at black ops when it comes out!". he basically yells with a smirk. He likes the fact that he can kick my but way to much. All the boys look over at Peter with jelousy. They want to kick my but at COD. too bad.

Peter and Carrissa shortly leave, but not without giving me a bear hug. I go back to contemplating. I finish my drink and turn to go grab another when I run into Geddis.

He looks good tonight. with short brown hair just slightly messed up, a sweatshirt and a nice pair of jeans. Hes wearing his basketball shoes. I frown visibly at that fact. Hes on Varsity or something. I dont really care for basketball all that much. I look up at his face and he looks down at mine. He smiles again and I get lost in his chocolate brown eyes.

I don't get why he just gave up like the other did after a few weeks. I remember the one time we had ever talked, we fought about why I didn't have a job. Like that's any of his business. I got to a very difficult school thank you very much! The thought of that day still pisses me off. But he felt so bad afterward. He probably thinks that's why I refuse to talk to him.

"hey Emily, you look beautiful tonight" he used my full name. I frowned again. his voice sounded so sincere how can I not believe him. damn this is getting harder. I need another drink. I mumble a thanks and go to the kitchen. Tonight is going to be interesting.

I yawn and my mouth feels like I've been sucking on cotton balls. and I feel a body right next to me. I roll over on the wood floor of sadie's house and my heart stops as I see next to me Geddis.

What The Hell happened last night? well first things first I still have all my clothes on. and we aren't the only ones passed out in the living room. I sit up and look around. I see Peter and Carrissa snuggling in front of the tv. I see Soph laying on top of Tom on the dinning room table, and a few random people sprawled out.

Thank god everyone had there clothes on. I slowly get up and tip toe around the house. Shit we were supposed to go home last night. I grab my phone and look at my last calls. Well at least I called the parents to tell them I was staying at Sadie's.

My phone vibrates and I look at the text I just reserved with growing apprehension. Hey baby I missed you thanks for texting me last night, what do you say we start over? Shit. Fucking Whore.

Someone really needs to take my phone away from me when I'm drinking. the world starts spinning and its then that I notice my head is pounding. I can't believe I texted him lastnight! that was the stupidest thing Ive ever done, he had to know I was drunk.

I grown softly and get a class of water and some advil for my head. I hear someone come up behind me. He puts his hands around my waist and whispers in my ear
"goodmorning Emily" I drop the glass thank god it didn't break and spin around.

Its Geddis. I made a huge loud noise and no one wokes up. I guess I drank little compared to the others. I put on my blank face keeping my cool, but inside my heart is pounding.

He puts his finger to his lips and say shhh. damn it. him so close to me it makes my heart race. he brushes my hear out of my face which makes me shiver. damn. I really swear when I'm hung over huh?

he takes my hand and leads me outside. I cold October air feels great however the sun rising over the mountains kills my head. he sits down on the lawn chair and beckons me to do so too. I mumble somthing about how its to early and comply.

Its then I realize he doesn't even look hungover. What the hell? I don't remember seeing him drink last night from what I remember.

"So we need to talk some time, when your not hungover, you intrigue me." he says timidly. Maybe he does know why I'm not talking to him. I intrigue him? what the hell does that mean? I don't know what to say to that! I scream in my head.

"um sure...I guess" I say lamely. he smiles and just sits there looking at me for a minute.

"your beautiful, I hope you know that." Okay random and I'm pretty sure I look like shit right about now. I feel like shit and I'm all confused. he gets up and fishes him keys out of his pocket.

" come on, I'll drive you home." he helps me up and I fallow him down the stairs. we get into his car and we start the 40 min, drive back to my house.

I sit there thinking about Geddis and about him. what am I going to do? we sit in silence and thank god he doesn't seem to mind.

he drops me off and I sneak into my bed and sleep until 1 in the afternoon.