Drop The Puck, It's Time To Go

It all felt like a haze, watching all the physicians who usually just patch up bruises and broken bones coming in quickly trying to slow the flow of blood as quickly as possible from my arm. I didn’t want to live though, I didn’t want it to stop; didn’t they realize it?

Shit, is that Recchi with tears in his eyes?

“Roxy…why?” The voice of Brad Marchand. I slowly turned my head to see him standing there shaking with a somber Timmy.
“I just can’t go on Brad…I just can’t…I can’t…” The team threw me on a stretcher that seemed to come out of nowhere with an EMT team.
“But what about us…?” I rolled my head away in shame, not able to meet Brad’s eyes. I closed my eyes, a single tear rolling out and hitting the pillow.

*General POV*

Roxy rolled her ashen face away from him, not daring to say anything and the EMT piped up.
“She’s out, we’ve got to hurry!” The team completely left the building with Roxanne on the stretcher, when Coaches Julien, Houda, and Ward came bounding into the room.
“I just got the words. What. The. Fuck.” Julien said to Recchi, Marchand, and Thomas. “Is Roxanne really on the verge of fucking death?”

Marchand nodded his head with everyone else, Recchi with a couple tears on his cheek and blood all over his hands, and Thomas unable to do anything.
“With what?” Julien asked. No one wanted to talk about it right away, it was too much to digest. “Answer!” Julien barked, clearly on the edge of his nerve.
“Pocketknife.” Thomas finally stated. “The same one from Super Skills. I forgot she had it.”

“A goddamn pocketknife.” Julien muttered, turning away. Ward spoke up.
“You beginning to think hiring McGregor was a bad idea? Look what it has done now.” Marchand listened to Ward speaking, ready to jump in to defend Roxanne and try and keep her on the team. But yet again, Ward was right. Look what it had done; what it was doing.
“We need to go and get the guys.” Marchand spoke up. “They need to know.”
“Yeah…yeah let’s get on that.” Recchi muttered. “Who wants to tell Rask?”

“I will.” Thomas spoke up. “I’ll go find him and tell him personally.”
“I’ll get the defensemen then.” Recchi said.
“Count on me for all the forwards.” Marchand piped up, heading towards his phone and jacket.
“Men.” Julien called out. They all stopped and looked at their head coach. “Whatever you do, make sure you do not attract attention. Not one drop of this hits the media. Not one drop.” Everyone nodded in understanding before forsaking everything in the locker room and left into the chilly early spring evening.

There was a soft mist that evening, drops of water collecting on the few remaining cars in the parking lot and its danced pasted the streetlights. The sounds of cars and people wandering the street flowed to where Brad stood, pulling out his phone and wondering whether he should call most of the team and then personally go to the others doors.

Others as in the five guys he was the most close with.

And closest with Roxanne.

Oh shit Roxy. Marchand quickly gave up on calling and ran to his car. Bergeron, he was going to find Bergeron first. He didn’t have the ability to call anyone right then. It was too hard to digest, too hard to take in. As he started up his car he saw Recchi chatting with someone rapidly. The old man looked like he was about to have cardiac arrest.

Marchand didn’t blame him, the kid was close to tears himself.

*****

Starring absently at the TV, Tuukka pondered over Roxy’s behavior today. It was violent, more violent then she usually was and he placed it all on his shoulders. She was hurt, mad hurt, and it was all from him saying the stupidest thing in the world.

Needing a break.

Needed a break his ass, right now Tuukka was about to go fucking crazy over the fact that she wasn’t right here with him right now. You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone. Roxy wasn’t answering any of his texts and she had a right too. But he was praying, just praying that she would respond. He tried calling and there was nothing either. Finnegan jumped into his lap and began to meow, probably asking the same question he was wondering

Where are you Roxy?

The knock on the door alerted him. He picked up the squiggling cat that was about to settle down in his lap and put it on the couch before lumbering over to the door. He opened it to find Tim Thomas.

A very distressed Tim Thomas.

“Timmy? What’s up man?” Tuukka asked, pulling the door completely open to allow his fellow teammate into the apartment.
“It’s Roxanne.” Tim said heavily. It sounded like he didn’t want to speak what he had to say which caused Tuukka’s heart to drop and his gut to fill with dread.
“What happened Timmy? Is Roxanne okay?”
“Anything but.” Tuukka grabbed the senior goalie by his shoulders, head spinning.
“What do you mean!?”

“Roxanne tried to commit suicide. She’s at the hospital right now.”

The largest eighteen-wheeler just slammed itself into Tuukka.
“No. No…shit, no! That can’t be true! Is she going to live!?” Tim swallowed.
“I don’t know man, she was bleeding to death and was being dragged to the hospital as fast as you can imagine.” Tuukka started to shake badly.
“Oh shit…shit…shit, SHIT!” he punched the wall next to him in aggravation. “This is all my fucking fault!” Tim threw and arm around Rask’s shoulders.
“None of this is your damn fault Rask.”

Tuuk threw the arm off of me and began to pace agitatedly.
“It is though Tim! I was the one who has been giving her the silent treatment! I’m the one that has been pushing her to the edge! I was the one who told her we needed a break!” Tuuk crumpled to the floor, head in his hands, fingers gripping his curly hair in aggravation. “I was the one who said the most stupidest thing in the entire fucking world to the girl I fucking love and it fucking killed her!”

Tuukka Rask’s worst nightmare imaginable was coming true, the fear of one day waking up and Roxanne no longer being there. The worst part about it? It was all his fault.
“Rask, calm down, she’s not dead yet man! She’s at the hospital waiting for you.” Rask scrambled to his feet and grabbed his jacket.
“Let’s go. Let’s go now so I can see her for myself! I need to talk to her!” Tim grabbed Rask’s arm and dragged him out the door.

“Why did you think I came here to get you?”

*****

Marchand began to pound of Bergeron’s door.
“You better not be asleep! Open your door!” Patrice Bergeron was at the door in an instant, ripping it open and knew instantly something was wrong due to Marchand’s alarmed face.
“Dude, what the hell is going on? You wouldn’t be at my door if it wasn’t anything serious!” Marchand blurted everything out in one sentence.
“Roxannetriedtocommitsuicide!!!”

Bergeron blinked.

“What!?” He cried. “Repeat that!”
“Seriously!? I don’t want to repeat it, I’m still in fucking shock!”
“Roxanne tried to kill herself!? Did she succeed!?” Bergeron seemed to get extremely scared. “Tell me she’s still alive!”
“She’s still alive but barely!” Marchand rubbed his face with his hand, the scene still burned into his hand. “Fuck, I can’t get it out of my head.”

Bergeron, his line mate and buddy, was throwing on a jacket as best as he could, hand on Marchand’s shoulder.
“Start talking buddy, you sound like you need.”
“I don’t know if I want to talk about it! Shit Bergeron! She yelled at me to go away and then the next minute it seemed, I see her on the ground with blood pouring out of her arm, Recchi frantically trying to stop it and yelling for 911! Shit, I’ve seen blood before but this is a whole new kind!”

What happened to the carefree, lovable, singing Roxanne who used to fill the locker rooms’ waters?

“It’s all going to be okay man.” Bergeron said. “Is there anyone else we should get personally?”
“Recchi’s got Boychuk and the rest of the defensemen. We need to get Seguin, Lucic, and Krejci plus everyone else!”
“Then let’s get on that!”

*****

Marchand, Recchi, Thomas, Julien, Houda, Ward, the rest of the Bruins, plus the medical team were the only ones who knew about this.

Right?
Wrong.

Kathleen Edwards saw everything. She saw how Roxanne McGregor, a woman who had everything right now, carve out her arm like it was nothing. Ungrateful bitch, did she not see what she had? Kathleen had no love for the forward or this team. There was something about them that didn’t bode well. For her.

Returning to her apartment after work, she found Jake lounging around being lazy as usual. What did he do anyways? Beat her. At least he gave her something to look at.
“What’s new?” Jake asked, tossing his magazine to the side as she came walking into the room. The cover had Roxanne McGregor on it. Goddammit, was there anything in this worthless city that didn’t have her ugly face on it?
“McGregor tried to commit suicide.” Jake looked up.
“No way. Really?”

“Really. All the coaches are begging silence about it. Can you imagine what this would do if the media caught hold of it? Explosion.” Kathleen smiled at that thought. “The best part? They don’t know I know.” Jake smirked.
“Well isn’t that convenient. Another little thing I can use to break Roxanne down again for fucking leaving me for Boston and that dumbass goalie.” Kathleen rolled her eyes. Again, Jake was reverting to that. The man could never let go. Don’t get her wrong, she hated McGregor too. The way the woman was and acted, it irritated her.

Plus, Roxanne knew more then she let on.

But the fact that Jake was so absorbed with her drove Kathleen nuts. The reason she sought refuge in him was because Sean was irritating her as well for the man was just as obsessed with his ex.

And people say girls had issues with letting go!

“Let’s just hold on to this news for a little bit. It might come in handy for you in a bit.” Jake stated, walking over to her and starting to kiss her neck.
“Whatever you say. Finally have some leverage over the red headed slut.”

*****

Don’t let any of this hit the media.

All right, how the hell were they suppose to do that? Of course it was going to catch wind that Roxanne McGregor, #49, was rushed to the hospital and it didn’t help that all the Bruins were filing into the hospital in different groups now. Of course it was going to catch wind that Tuukka Rask, Tim Thomas, Patrice Bergeron, Brad Marchand, and Johnny Boychuk were pacing like crazy outside her hospital room just waiting on the edge of their seats to go in.

Finally, a nurse came out and spoke to the small group.

“She’s stable. She’s going to live.” She said. If the burning desire to get in the room weren’t there, Rask probably would have just collapsed onto the floor in relief. Marchand did though; he just tumbled into the chair next to Timmy.
“Can we go in now?” Rask asked. The nurse nodded and all five of them charged into the room like they were crazy civilians outside a Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

Roxy was awake. Awake but look weak and sickly, connected to so many wires and shit. A tube of blood was slowly dripping through a tube into her arms and her other arm was wrapped up so tightly, it was twice the size of her other one. She turned slowly at the clattering at the door to see everyone and burst into tears, turning her head away in what must have been shame.

“Shit, Roxy, don’t cry.” Tuukka said, running over and sitting on the bed, trying to get her to look at him. “Goddammit Roxanne, please look at me.”
“No. I’m ashamed. Ashamed and embarrassed!”
“For living?”
“Yes. Living to have to face the consequences of what I have just done!”

Team Canada stood on the other side of the bed, Brad trying to coax her from underneath her hands, Timmy at the end of the bed looking lost.
“Don’t be ashamed. Please.” Tuukka finally got her to look at him. “Everything is going to be okay, alright? You’re alive and that’s what matters.”
“We’re not ashamed of you.” Boychuk said. “Just scared for you.” Roxy looked at everyone, tears dripping down her pale face, hair in a disorder.
“I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “So sorry for everything. For being a stupid existence and just dragging you all down like this.”

“Sorry for existing?” Bergeron piped up. “You would have been sorry for no longer existing!” The man came over and pulled Roxy into a big bear hug.
“I’m so sorry Patriiiice!” Roxanne gripped her friend hard and continued the length of hugs, Brad nearly losing all the air he had in his lungs with her neck squeeze.
“ACK, MY AIRWAY!”

Tuukka was the last one to hug her, pulling her into his chest and resting his head on her’s, burying himself in her red hair that always smelt so god damn good!
“Minä rakastan sinua ja olen pahoillani ... pahoillani satuttaa sinua.” He whispered into her hair. I love you and I’m sorry…sorry for hurting you.
“Were you speaking or mumbling gibberish? I’m going with the latter!” Brad commented, causing the room to burst into nervous chuckles, adrenaline slowly ebbing away.

“ROXANNE!”
“YOU BUNDLE OF REDHEADED CHAOS! YOU BETTER BE ALIVE!”

Krejci and Lucic tumbled into the hotel room. Legit tumbling. Krejci was running faster then Lucic and tripped over the bulky Canadian, the pair becoming a bundle of curses. Recchi was slowly walking in, just staring down at the two arguing with each other with Horton, Kaberle, Seguin, McQuaid, and Kampfer.
“Does the whole…team know?” Roxanne piped up nervously, peeking around Tuukka to look at the chaos that erupted at the door.
“Yeah, they all do and the Coaches.”

Recchi finally got his two bickering teammates off the floor and spoke up.
“The coaches are in the process of trying to cover this all up.” Recchi quickly came over and Tuukka got up and gave his spot to Recchi who hugged Roxy filled with platonic love.
“You seriously almost gave me my first heart attack!” Recchi said, pulling Roxanne back to look at her. “The last thing I need is another reminder that I’m old!”
“Hey Recchi!” Lucic called out.
“What Looch?”
“You’re old.”

Recchi slowly turned around and gave Lucic the don’t-fuck-with-me old man stare.
“Be prepared for practice Milan Lucic. You’re going to get it.”
“I promise to be there to witness this.” Roxanne said meekly. The room held small smiles from the exchange, Lucic with the largest.
“You better Roxanne. This was one thing too much. Why? Why did you do it?” Recchi asked. Tuukka’s gut filled with dread and he hung his head in shame, knowing he was one of the largest reasons.

He had practically spat in her face.

“It’s…I just had enough with everything and acted on pure rage and sorrow.” Roxanne shrugged, green eyes drifting up to meet his own dark ones.
“Well it’s going to end. Now. The minute you get out of here you are fixing this so there is no issue, and I mean no issue anymore!” Recchi ruffled Roxy’s hair affectionately. Before long, the rest of the team came filing in and giving Roxy an earful about their fear and relief at seeing her sitting there alive and well.

Coach Julien finally showed up and was composing himself but everyone knew he was about to collapse in relief like everyone else was.
“Got the hospital and EMT to keep their lips shut about this. All of you too. You must not speak of this to anyone in case it gets out. It wont bode well.” Everyone nodded slowly at that. “Good, now everyone get some sleep or at least try to. We have the Atlanta Thrashers coming into town and we need to be ready.”

“Hey! Blake and Mark are coming back to the city they use to be in!” Marchand said, spirits rising at the prospect of seeing old teammates they missed dearly.
“Are they to know about Roxy here?” Boychuk asked, nodding his head towards her direction.
“I’ll need to think about that.”

The room began to empty out, everyone hugging Roxy goodbye and wishing her to get better soon, Tuukka being the last. Everyone left leaving just him and Roxanne alone in the room.
“You should get to sleep, you have a game to play.” She said to him, frown stuck to her face. Tuukka walked over and sat on the bed, brushing the red hair out of her face.
“I don’t care about that, I care about you more.”

“Now you do.” She whispered, eyes filled hurt still, stabbing at Rask’s heart.
“I always have Roxanne, really, you should know this!” He leaned in to kiss her but she tilted her head away.
“You said you wanted a break.” She stated. “Kissing doesn’t happen during breaks.”
“I was an idiot.” He tried to explain.
“We both are.” She responded.
“But that shouldn’t get in the way of us. Neither of our stupidity cause we both know we’re strong enough to overcome it.” Rask pick up her limp hand and kissed it. “Remember the chorus of the song you always sang? Back before you joined the NHL and everything went insane?”

Roxanne slowly looked over at him.
“Only the strongest will survive?”
“Exactly. You’re one of the strongest people I have known Roxanne. Look at what you have survived?” Rask pointed to her bandaged arm. “To survive that means you’re strong enough to endure anything and I’d be an even bigger fool for letting someone like you leave me.” He leaned down and finally managed to kiss her forehead. “That scar is always going to be there but it’ll be a scar to a battle you have been fighting and is about to finally end. End with you winning.”

“Tuukka…” She whispered.
“I love you Roxanne. I was an idiot for even suggesting a fucking break. I know now you’re going to get the help you have always needed and will heal and I know that when you come back home you’ll be carrying that smile that caused me to start chasing you all those years ago.” He gently placed a kiss on her lips. “Get some sleep and remember I’m only a phone call away. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” Tuukka stood up and slowly let go of her hand, already missing it and held her eyesight till he was out of the door.

*****

Rattled, the best way to describe the Boston Bruins locker room that Saturday of April 2nd when they were ready to go out and face the Atlanta Thrashers. Tuukka Rask was starting in goal that night and trying to get everything out of his head that day was tough. Roxanne was going to be released from the hospital today and it was plaguing his mind. But his head needed to be in the game and try and not to think about personal issues.

Brad Marchand had been doing better now that he knew Roxy was going to live and go to therapy and one day revert back to the crazy redheaded MassHole he knew her as. But the image of her resisting help and Recchi covered in her blood just kept plaguing his mind at the most inconvenient times. Like right now when he looked over at the veteran Bruin. The older player had been helpful though since that day, helping to ease Brad’s head and so was Bergeron, Boychuk, and Seguin. He couldn’t help though but want to strangle Tuukka for even suggesting a break to Roxanne.

“Wait…you almost broke up with her? When she needed you the most?” Brad asked in earnest when asking Rask how he was doing that night. The goalie had been looking guilty and scared since that day and Brad finally got him to spit out what was on his conscious.
“It was stupid Marchand, okay? I understand that! I wasn’t thinking at the time and I’ve been beating myself up over it since.” Brad almost collided a fist to the goalie’s face.
“You almost killed her!”
“You don’t think I know that!? You don’t think I’ve been freaking out about that!?” Rask exploded.

Boychuk who was nearby had jumped in between his two friends, seeing the hostility rising up.
“Whoa, guys, calm down. You’re taking out your fear, ebbing adrenaline, and irritation on each other. That’s not good for this team!” Marchand batted his buddy’s hand out of the way.
“I’m not calming down. The guy who I’ve been trusting with Roxanne’s heart these past months abandoned her when she needed him the most! What the hell kind of man is that!?”

“I didn’t abandon her Marchand!”
“Didn’t abandon her!? You were living apart when she tried to kill herself!”
“You check her phone and it shows that I was texting and calling her frantically trying to get her back! Don’t try to say that I don’t care about her cause I fucking do!” Brad turned his back on Rask and stormed to his car, Boychuk following him.
“You think you’re kind of overreacting? I mean, I understand your defense of Roxy, she’s a friend and we look after each other but you got to understand Ras-”

Brad stopped walking and sighed, starring at the pavement at his feet. An old, familiar feeling was bubbling around in his stomach, something he had been avoiding for months now and always covering up with fights, agitating and insults along with a practical joke here at there.

Jealousy.

Jealous at the fact that his fellow teammate, goalie, and friend managed to snag Roxanne before he, Brad Marchand, ever got the chance.
“I think my jealousy is finally getting the best of my Boychuk. Jealous at the fact that no matter what, I can’t comfort Roxy the way I want too. I can only comfort her like a friend and brother. Nothing more.”

Johnny Boychuk picked up his stick and sat in his cubby, keeping an eye on his fellow bro, Marchand. Only he knew about Marchand’s little debacle with and Rask and the confession that the poor kid was actually hurt deep down on the inside. Boychuk was going to keep the small, unknown fact that Brad Marchand liked Roxanne more then a friend to himself. No one would ever find out under his account. Boychuk was a jokester but when it came to his best friends, he trusted them with his life and would do anything to make sure they knew they could trust him.

Coach Julien wandered into the locker room, the black Expo marker in his hand ready to write down the game plan on the white board. He was feeling guilt on the inside, guilt over the fact that he now understood Roxanne’s irrational behavior at the Blackhawks game. She was acting out of anger, defeat, and depression and though she did need to be chewed out over it, it came at the worst time possible. He knew that shouting at her was what sent her over the edge and he didn’t like having that on his conscious. He hated it, hated it so freaking much that when he walked up to the board, he wrote three simple words for everyone to read.

Play for Roxanne

“I don’t think I need to explain myself with this one.” He said and the locker shook their heads. “Good, now go out there and play for every teammate that we have lost.”

*****

Marc Savard and Roxanne McGregor. The teammate that they had lost at the moment and that was what drove Lucic to play his best game so far on home ice. Tonight the fans were getting their moneys worth for sure! Krejci was on his line again for the first time in awhile and together with Seguin they were nearly impossible to stop. The Bruins and Thrashers were neck to neck the entire game, 2-2.

Tuukka was doing his best this game, trying not to think but to act. Every time he saw a shot coming he would do his best to stop that puck at all costs. The two goals that went in though tore at him cause both times his head began to daze off and before he knew it he was too damn slow to catch a puck for Roxanne’s face flashed through his mind. C’mon you idiot, don’t lose this game! Win for her. Of course, when he was thinking that he accidentally got a delay of the game for what looked like he shot the puck over the glass on purpose when in reality he just wasn’t thinking.

“Perkele!” He cursed. “SORRY RYDER!” He cried to his teammate who was sent to the box to serve the penalty for him. Ryder casually gave him the middle finger but the smirk on his face meant it was anything but serious. When the clock finally clicked down to 00:00 of the third period with the Bruins winning by one point and everyone skated over and smacked his helmet in congratulations. Brad Marchand being the last.
“Good game man.” Marchand said, smacking his helmet.
“Thanks Marchand.” He said.
“Look…about the other day.” Rask shrugged.
“It’s whatever now Brad, seriously. I don’t blame you for being extremely mad at me. I’m still made at myself.” Brad sighed as he skated back with the victorious goalie.

“I know, I shouldn’t have snapped. I was just angry and scared and lashed out at the one person I shouldn’t have.” Rask nudged him.
“I know you did Marchand and I was the same in response. I know how you are Brad, we used to play together in Providence those years ago.” Brad smirked.
“And who’s got two thumbs and playing better then you? THIS ONE!” Rask sent a glare at the agitator. “Kidding bro, kidding.”

When they got into the locker room they all found everyone circling around a figure but parted when Tuukka came in to expose a smiling Roxanne, wrapped in one of his sweatshirts that he gave her awhile back. The black one with the Finland lion on the front. Overcome with joy, Rask ran as fast as his skates would bring him and scooped her up.

Never again was Tuukka Rask going to allow himself to lose her again.

Never again was he going to let her go like he almost did.

Brad stood back a little, head dropping a little at the fact that Rask had the one thing he wish he could have. He got a nudge on the shoulder and looked up to see a smiling Boychuk. Brad gave a weak smile back and then looked over to see Rask had dropped Roxy and let her go, smiling at her like he never seen her before. Roxanne said something to him before letting go and running over and hugging the living daylights out of Brad.
“Thank you for saving me you stupid, little, agitating, Shrimpy Canadian.” Brad felt his stomach do flip-flops before hugging her back.
“I’d do anything I can for my best friends.”

*ROXANNE’S POV*

“Kir…kir…kir…ya…KIRJA!” I cried in triumph pointing to the book on the coffee table. Finnegan was startled and jumped a good foot in the air and hissed at my cry. “Oh, rauhoittua you silly kissa.” Finnegan stared at me like I was insane, speaking Finnglish to the thing.
“I think someone is finally catching onto Finnish.” I turned around and gave a timid smile to Tuukka who was leaning against a doorframe, looking rather striking in dark jeans, button down shirt, and a Bruins baseball hat. Did I mention the button shirt wasn’t fully buttoned?

Yum.

“Slowly but surely. Finnish is so goddamn hard!” I stared at the coffee table. “soy…havv…soy-hava…DAMMIT can’t get my mouth around it!” Tuuk snorted at that and I shot him a little mock glare.
“You would make that dirty you stupid Scandinavian.” Tuukka came over and planted a kiss on my lips.
“It’s sohvapöytä. Don’t worry, you’ll be fluent one day.”
“Yeah, when I’m forty.”

There was a knock on the door and Tuukka left me to call over the started Finny to try and coax the stubby little Munchkin cat into my lap. He wasn’t coming though and I think it was due to my bandaged arm.
“Hey Ben, what’s u-”
“TUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!” I looked up suddenly to see Tuukka get tackled by a blonde haired player I hadn’t seen in nearly two months.
“BLAKE!” I called out in happiness. Blake Wheeler was standing in the door along with Mark Stuart and my smirking brother.

“Holy shit Wheeler!” Tuukka griped, pulling the old forward off of him. “God dammit, I already saw you yesterday at the game.”
“I know you did. By the way, be careful when you go to your cubby next game.” Tuuk’s eyes narrowed.
“Whhhhhhyyyy…?”
“Nothing.” Blake whirled and looked at me. “RoxAAAANNNE!” I got up and walked over and embraced Wheels.
“Shit Blake, it’s been too long!”
“I know! Atlanta is more boring then Boston, I think I’m going insane. Thank god I have Stuey with me.” Wheeler jabbed a thumb at the smiling and waving Mark. “Missed you at the game yesterday, what happened? Heard you were hospitalized.”

I sighed and sat back down on the couch.
“It’s a long, long story Wheeler. But I have a feeling you don’t have that far to go.” Wheeler shook his head.
“Hell no. Hey Stuart! Get your ass over here, it’s story time.” Stuart collapsed into the armchair and Ben piped up.
“Convenient. While you guys are catching up, I’m snagging this goalie for a bit.” Ben grabbed the back of Tuukka’s shirt and dragged him out of the apartment.
“UGG!” Tuuk gasped. “Ben, you asshole!”
“No complaining. Move.”

The door closed and I looked back at my old teammates smiling.
“So where to begin…”
“How about the suicidal accusations?” Stuart asked.
“Logical beginning.”

*GENERAL POV*

“Leave my sister again like that and I won’t be hesitant to toss you into the harbor or figure out a way to deport you back to Finlandia.” Tuukka let out a really, really long sigh. He was waiting for this conversation to happen with Ben McGregor. The man loved his sister and would do anything to help her. Meaning coming after him now after everything.
“You have every right to Ben. I did the worst thing imaginable and I’m learning from that.”

“You better be…I’m trusting the care of my sister in you. I’ve been trusting you since day one and when I got the call that she almost committed suicide after running into my apartment crying that you wanted a break. She thought you wanted to break up with her and it was killing her.” Ben looked away from Rask and leaned against the versalok retaining wall the overlooked the Boston Harbor, wind whipping his red hair. Rask sighed and went and leaned against it with him.

“I am sorry for that, truly. I never, ever wanted to hurt your sister but everything was building up and I just…well…did something irrational and it almost cost me the life of someone I care about deeply. I almost lose the respect of you and the respect of my team.” Ben looked over at Tuukka Rask, seeing the hurt and pain that was crossing his facial features. He liked the guy, a lot, and had always knew Roxanne made a fantastic choice in him. But he was infuriated at the fact that Rask nearly played with Roxanne’s fragile heart as if he was playing a game.

“She survived. Thank God. It was a miracle really. I’m giving you a second chance with her too. For this whole scenario has rattled everyone into thinking twice about their reactions and their effect on people.” Ben straightened up and flicked a bug off the wall and into the water. “Roxanne finally managed to see through to her mom. They aren’t on the best of terms but they’re certainly are at a truce. It’s like her relationship with Erika Harper. Hostility, a truce, the powerful friendship. It’s going to be the same with our Mom, I know it.”

Rask chewed his lip in thought.
“But the friendship with Harper has cracked again back to hostility. It better not fall like that again.”
“It’s hostile right now for Roxanne is risking it to save her friends career. Saving her career for she loves her like a sister now. Nothing has changed in Roxanne’s heart to Erika. It hasn’t changed towards you either.”

“And my feelings to Roxy haven’t changed either. Towards her or you.” Ben looked over at Rask.
“Truth is man, I was ready to beat your face in when I found out what happened. I hated you so much till I saw the way you were suffering over what had happened. You almost lost my respect but you’ve held it.” Ben held his hand to Rask and Rask took it. “Here’s to a new beginning. The past is over now, we’ve just got the future now.”

“Here’s to the future.”

*ROXANNE’S POV*

I was out for the rest of the regular season and it was driving me in-saaaaaane! The one good thing was that I was getting better at Finnish cause I had nothing better to do in my free time. Rosetta Stone and the NHL network were my best friend at the moment as I healed up to be presentable for the Stanley Cup Final.

We were guaranteed a spot in it for we were so high up the rank, even if we lost the rest of our games we would still be freaking playing! We were surpassing Philly and that made me feel extremely victorious. But my heart went out to Briere, Giroux, and Versteeg though, the poor guys. Oh shit Giroux. I still had yet to talk to the man since that incident.

I leaned on the edge of my couch and smiled despite thinking about Giroux for the NHL was replaying what happened during the Captials vs Sabres game where the Olympic hero, Ryan Miller, purposed to a sobbing Evelyn Haley on the ice. My congrats to that lucky couple! My TV then began to show a live conference that caught my attention.

Erika was on screen, looking nervous but diplomatic.

I grasped onto her words as she began to speak.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I know rumors have been flying around, questioning my integrity because of a certain... allegation that presented itself.” Like hell I’d actually say it out loud. “But that’s precisely what they are; just allegations. Today, I’ve come with an announcement. I’m in the process of suing Sean Morrison for breach of peace and harassment, as well as fraud and violating my 9th amendment rights. I’m also suing Kathleen Edwards for identity theft.”

I collapsed back into the couch, not needing to hear anymore of it. This was it…this was the beginning of the end.
“Hear the ticking of a clock…the sound of life itself.”

*****

Today was the Bruins final game of the season and I made an effort to show my face there for it was the epic Shirts of their Backs night and I needed to be there, in full uniform for the lucky person who received my jersey. I made an appearance during second period, waving to the crowd who gave me a standing ovation that melted my heart. Now, I was sitting in the locker room, waiting for the game to end and for me to go back out.

But also lying in wait for a certain someone.

Kathleen Edwards soon walked back, head held high, and a grace to her steps. But the fact that every little noise was sending her jumping was a telltale sign that she was petrified over what happened yesterday afternoon. She walked in and dropped all the shit she held in her hands and she cursed.
“DAMMIT!”
That was my cue.

“Why so on edge?”

Kathleen whipped around to see me sitting in my cubby in my hockey glory, arms crossed and watching her intently.
“Nothing.” She snapped. I pressed further.
“I don’t think it’s nothing.” I stated, snaking out of my position and leaning on my knees.
“You have no right to know what is aggravating me!” She said, turning her back on me.
“Does it have anything to do with a certain Flyer forward? A sex tape? A brown haired Capital? Fraud?”

Kathleen stopped in her tracks.

“You know. You knew. You’ve been snooping around trying to find evidence haven’t you!” I shrugged.
“More or less. It’s not an accident you were here.” Kathleen charged over to me.
“You two faced bitch! Tell me what you know and have! Tell me! I know you are in league with Erika! I knew all the fights and anger towards each other was a ruse!” I laughed at her and started clapping.
“You slow child, congratulations. You’ve figured it out.”
“You can’t go to the police with this! You can’t go to Erika! You have nothing, NOTHING!” She cried. “While I have everything.”

I raised an eyebrow.
“Everything? What do you mean everything? You think you’re high and mighty but you are nothing but a brown haired puck bunny using players for what they have. They in turn are using you.” I stood up and headed towards the hallway to the rink. “You’ve messed up your life big time Kathleen Edwards. Mark my words. You…Sean…and Jake…will be punished for all of this. I have evidence.” Okay, I was bluffing a little there, I had very little of it but I did have something!

I heard the cheers from the stadium rising up and I knew it was nearly my time to head out and hand my jersey off to a lucky fan.

“I know what you did on March 29th. I know you tried to commit suicide. I know you sliced your arm completely open and I know this club has been trying to hide that fact from the media. Can you imagine the bomb that would go off if someone was to tell the media this?” My blood ran cold. How…how did she? Only the Bruins, the coaches, and the medical staff knew! I slowly turned around. “If you go and tell Erika what you know. I will tell the media what I know. Who knows, maybe I’ll even frame it on someone. Like…Rask? Marchand? Boychuk? Should I continue?”

The both of us stood in the locker room, staring each other down and she was blackmailing me. Threatening the reputation of my boyfriend and best friends. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, looking at it as if I had a text but instead clicking the record button it. Evidence, I could get some good solid evidence.
“So you’re saying you are the imposter? The girl in the sex tape? It’s not Erika Harper.” Kathleen smirked.
“No, it isn't Erika Harper. I am the imposter and you wont tell a soul or I’ll tell everyone about why you were hospitalized and frame it on one of your precious teammates. So what’s it going to be Roxanne?” I subtly clicked off the record button.

Got it.

Standing there, thinking deeply, I began to ponder over everything.
You’re not alone in these battles Roxanne.
You have a strong will and I know you will do what’s right.
To survive means your are strong enough to do anything.

I looked up and Kathleen and walked over and took her hand.
“We have a deal then. I’ll keep my silence.” Kathleen smiled in triumph.
“What a terrible friend you are.” She sneered. It was my turn to smirk.
“So it may seem. But we all aren’t who we think we are.”

*****
*PHILLY*

“Its all your fucking fault!”
“All my fucking fault? Someone is trying to find a scapegoat!”
“Oh piss off you stupid little French asshole!”
“Hey! Watch your goddamn mouth!”
“Oh jumping in to defend your boyfriend, eh Briere!”
“Oh shut up! Show the man some damn respect why don’t you?”
“ALL OF YOU, SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS!”

Richards roared, shutting his bickering team up instantly. Kris Versteeg shifted his gaze from each side of the locker room, from the angrily smirking Carcillo to the furious Claude Giroux. Something was about to break, and he could sense it.

There was no way he was going to be here for that. Laviolette was already gone, and he was now too. As sneaky as possible, he meandered his way out of the room so no one would notice.

Since becoming a double agent, he had learned to be pretty sneaky.

Richards stood in the center of the room, between the two arguing sides.
“Our entire team chemistry has been falling apart, and I’m fucking sick and tired of it!” He roared.
“Its that bastards fault!” Giroux exclaimed, thrusting a finger at Sean. Sean smirked back. “He’s the reason everything is falling apart! He decided to orchestrate this whole fucking sex tape thing and rip every fiber of our chemistry apart!”

“Oh yeah, so you becoming friends with that skank has nothing to do with this?” Carcillo spat. Giroux angrily turned his gaze to his teammate. “Everything was fine before the All Star break. Then you spent the weekend with that bitch and her red headed slut, and you come back here and are suddenly all righteous. You used to be cool man, then you were captured under her spell.”
“Just like I used to be.” Sean added, adding fuel to the fire.

“Oh please Morrison, we all know of your obsession with Erika.” Briere spat. He was tired of being silent.
“Fuck being cool Carcillo, I’d rather do what’s right.” Growled Giroux.
“You’re just upset because the red headed slut rejected you.” Sean said casually, hitting a deep cut in Giroux’s heart.

“The fuck do you know about anything, you criminal?” Giroux snapped back.
“What I do know is that if you had given me that pass in overtime I would have gotten it past Miller and we would have won that fucking game, and taken the fucking conference!” Sean raged, getting to his feet menacingly.“But no, you had to keep it, let the Sabres win, and let Erika beat me again.”

“Does anyone else here the complete and utter obsession with beating his ex coming from this man right here?” Briere asked disbelievingly.

“You’re delusional Briere.” Pronger stated evenly.
“Delusional my ass! Come on guys, you know he’s crazy. JVR, Meszaros, Carter; anyone?” Giroux raged.
“I get what Sean is saying. I’m fucking sick of that skank always one-uping us. Even at the finals last year she rubbed it in our face!” Carter exclaimed.

“But that doesn’t make his obsession right! What the fuck do you guys have against her anyway?” Giroux shouted.
“What is there to like about her? Let’s see, she’s a bitch, she is the center of attention and loves it, plus she’s a skank. Nothing redeemable there.” Carcillo replied cooly.

Both the blood in Briere and Giroux began to boil.

“I don’t understand all this shit being thrown around. You all have known damn well that Erika and I have been friends for awhile. Why is it exploding all the sudden?” Briere asked.
“Because she’s killing our team!” Richards stated, finally interjecting in the conversation.
“You idiots! She’s not the one doing it! Its him!” Giroux shouted frantically, pointing again at Sean. Richards let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t give a fuck who any of you think it is. All I’m saying is that you two better get the fuck over yourselves and get over this fucking issue before the playoffs start or we’re not getting anywhere near the cup.” Richards stood up again, before shooting a glare at both Giroux and Sean. “You two better get your shit together by Wednesday, or I’m kicking both of your asses.” And with that, Richards stormed out of the room.

Silence was all that followed the heated debate. The guys all packed up and left in the silence, until only Briere and Giroux were left.
“We are so fucked this season.” Giroux sighed.
“I know. And it’s a damn shame for all of our fans.”

*****

I held my head up high as I left behind the Sex Tape Slut and her schemes. I had it. I had the confession and I had a plan up my sleeve. I could turn her in and not risk her spilling anything and framing my friends…my family…my team. When I was cued to head out onto the ice, I pushed out and waved to the crowd, the TD rising up in cheers over the game and at seeing my face again. I skated over to the men who had welcomed me into their dysfunctional family since day one.

And had saved me from destroying myself.

I lunged myself into the group of laughing guys and Sex Tape Slut melting away.
“We’ve got the Cup this year!” Marchand yelled. “We’ve got it! You know why? Cause through everything we have been through not one of us has strayed away. We’ve become an even stronger team.” Everyone shoved Marchand in the head and laughed because it was true.

We had gotten stronger and only the strongest would survive.

“I love everyone of you guys. I couldn’t replace any of you and I never would either! Even you Rich Peverly.” I pointed to the forward who looked up, a bit surprised. “I’ve excepted your snarkiness and you can’t be replaced. You’re apart of my team and no one can be mad at a team, you know why? Cause like Marchand, we’re all family.” Peverly gave a small smile.
“Glad you’ve come around.”
“So have I, Rich. So have I. This team is as eclectic as ever but we’re as awesome a fucking Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! Peanut butter and chocolate! Two contradicting forces brought together in a delicious harmony!”

“I don’t want to be compared to peanut butter!” Krejci called out. “Peanut butter is a sin! And mixing it with chocolate is a bigger sin!”
“AGREED!” Kaberle called out with nodding of agreement from Seidenberg and Tuukka.

Europeans, I’ll never understand them!

“PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE IS NOT A SIN! IT’S A GIFT!” I yelled, smacking Krejci in the head.
“IT SO IS A SIN! You don’t put that vile, mashed up shit with your chocolate!” Krejci yelled back.
“You Europeans have no taste in anything! NO. TASTE!” Tuukka looked over at me.
“You just insulted yourself right there.”
“No I didn’t!” I pondered on it. “Shit I did.”

Everyone began to snicker over that and I glared them all down.

“I’m going to get fan opinions on this one.” I looked over at the group of fans, mostly little kids, fidgeting with their envelopes telling them what player they got. I skated over to the group, a couple of my teammates following me. This one big heated debate that will last through the ages, hands down. “WHO HAS KABERLE!?” I yelled, causing the official who was organizing the fans together and was talking to everyone to jump out of his skin and stare at me bewildered. All the kids looked up at me in awe, a couple teenage girls were glaring at me like I was the enemy, and a couple of parents raised an eyebrow.

“Give it up to Micky for scaring our fanbase away!” Bergeron commented.
“Conniving American, I know what she is up to.” Kaberle muttered.

“I do!” One little boy called in pride, waving his envelope around in glee. I beamed at him.
“Perfect! When he gives you his sign jersey tell him he’s stupid and that peanut butter chocolate is a gift from heaven and that his stubborn European self needs to accept that fact!” Krejci began to snicker and Kabby just shook his head. The boy began to laugh.
“I’ll be doing that Micky!”
“You better! I’m watching you!” The official was biting his tongue at all of this, wondering whether or not to just give up and let the fans just mingle with us or go according with procedure. Pfft, procedure was overrated.

“Now who has Krejci!”
“No!” Krejci yelled at me.
“ME! ME! ME!” Yelled a little five-year-old girl who wiggled out of her mother’s hold. “Krejci! How could you not like Reese’s Peanut Butter cups!? Especially the mini ones!” I looked at Krejci.
“Listen to this! A five-year-old is berating you! This is how stuff gets done in America!” Krejci just gave me an annoyed face before answering the ecstatic five-year-old.
“Now who has Tuuk!?” I looked at the two teenage girls and quickly added to that question. “Never mind, don’t want to know!”

“I…guess I should just let the fans go out now?” The guy muttered uncertainly with me and I shrugged.
“Why not man? I have to round up the people getting the European players to berate them for telling me peanut butter is a sin!”
“Is to!”
“Is not Seidenberg!” I yelled to the German across the ice. The fans were let lose onto the ice to meet their players and get their signed jersey. Kaberle and Krejci had their hands full with the little kids bombarding them with questions about peanut butter.

The shit the Bruins get into, I love it!

I got an adorable seven-year-old girl with blonde braids and a big, toothy smile.
“Hey there, what’s your name?” I asked, kneeling down on the ice to be more level with my little fan. Is it bad I wanted to snatch up this girl and hug her to death then adopt her? The thought was going through my head!
“My name’s Roxy! Like yours!” She said, shaking from excitement at actually being able to talk with me.
“No way! That’s the best name ever!” I said, laughing, pulling off my jersey and beginning to write a little message on the numbers for little Roxy.

“I just have to say that you are like…incredible! I look up to you so much! You and Erika both! But I like you more cause you’re a Bruin and the Bruins are like, the best team in existence! I want to one day be able to play like you do for this team and have my own amazing teammates like you do!” I smiled at her after signing my name.

“We certainly are!” I handed the jersey to her and the girl nearly squealed holding the thing to her and looking at her parents, almost speechless. “Keep up that dream kid, I never thought I would be sitting on this ice playing for this team but here I am. You never know what will happen and I know with an enthusiasm like that you’ll get into the NHL. Go for a hat trick maybe?”
“Yes! I want the stadium to echo with my name!” I laughed, ruffling up her braids. If my daughter isn’t this cute, I’m demanding a refund!
“Big dreams kid! Go for it!”

“Thanks Micky!! Say, can I like…meet any other of the players…?” She asked timidly. Her mom began talking next.
“I don’t think so honey, they’re busy with their fans too!” I waved a hand and pfft-ed that.
“Ma’am, if she wants to meet anyone else, I’ll take her to them! We love every single one of our fans!”
“You sure McGregor?” She asked.
“Hell yeah.” I then got up and squatted down. “C’MON ROXY! I’M CARRYING TO WHEREVER YOU DESIRE!”
“YES! PIGGYBACK RIDE! Mom! Dad! Get this picture!”

After posing for some pictures I skated around with Roxy on my back, I skated around the team, taking her to every player she wanted to see. Marchand saw what I was doing and quickly threw his fan, a five-year-old named Michael, on his back and we freaking raced around with them.
“You have to take me to see Tuukka!” Roxy said, poking me in the head.
“Now why would I do thaaat?” I joked, looking over at my boyfriend who was dealing with the two teenage girls who had glared at me earlier. Now that explains the glares!

Oh, this could get real fun.

“Because he’s super cute and you two are the cutest couple ever!” I laughed at that.
“Thanks for that compliment Roxy! I’m going to go tell him. YO TUUUUUKKA!” I quickly skated over to him and as he turned to look I showered him and the two girls with snow as I dug in my skates.
“AHH!” Roxy cried out.
“Thanks for that hun, didn’t need that.” Tuukka said, brushing the snow off of him while the girls grumbled in annoyance.

“I know, why did you think I did it? By the way, meet little Roxy!”
“HI TUUUUK!” Roxy called out waving a hand from behind my head.
“Hey there!” Tuukka said, flashing her a smile. Little Roxy blushed crimson and giggled.
“She says we’re the cutest couple ever. Needed to tell you about that! Best compliment of the day!”

Glares galore to my right.

“She also thinks your cute!”
“MICKY!” I snickered evilly as Tuuk smiled big time, flicking the girl’s braids. “Sorry, I’m taken you.” If Tuukka was to pick up the girl in the next couple of seconds I think my ovaries would explode. Roxy buried her embarrassed little face into my neck and I laughed.
“And who is the lucky person?” I joked.
“Staring right at her.” Tuukka gave me a quick kiss. “If I were you I would hand her back to her parents before I end up seeing you on America’s Most Wanted for kidnapping.” If looks could kill I would be on the ground peppered with bullet holes and roasting to a rotten crisp.

That’s right bitches, I tap this on a regular BASIS!

“I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE WITH YOU GUYS!” Roxy pipped up.
“Who wouldn’t!?” I scoffed. “We’re the best people ever! Actually, the best one would be with Team Canada, now talk about shenanigans and endless containers of ice cream.”

“ICE CREAM!”
“Nightmare…” Muttered Tuuk.
“Shut up, you love them. Next to Timmy, your next bromance is with Boychuk! Alright Roxy! Show’s over, time to go back to your parents.”
“Awwww maaaaan!” After I dropped off little Roxy I reunited myself with Tuukka by coming up behind him and hugging him around the waist as he chatted with Team Canada, me joining in.

“Hey Tuuka.” I said.
“Yeah Roxy?”
“If we get married and have kids and our daughter isn’t like that kid I’m blaming your genes.” The guys began to yell “OOOOOOOH” as Tuukka looked at me with mock anger.
“Thanks Roxy! I still wonder why I decided to ask you out!” Everyone was laughing and cheering and I never felt more at home.

I gambled with my life and was hurled back to life, rattled, and realizing that what I was attempting to do was a big mistake. This was what I was born for. This was where I belong and I knew I was going to go on and do great things.

The past meant nothing.

The future wasn’t scary.

The future had everything. The future had hope. The future had love, family, and acceptance.

“FUCK YEAH BABY, WE’RE GOING INTO THE CONFERENCE FINALS! LORD STANLEY, HERE WE COME!” Thorton called out and the room exploded with cheers, Dropkick Murpheys beginning to blast out of the iPod dock. Next stop was Montreal against our biggest rival. But right now, no one was thinking about that, instead we were content with singing our hearts out.

You’ve gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps

No one’s gonna help you out when you fall

You’ve gotta find a way out of your problems

When you’re broke and you’re backed up against the wall

If you sleep on your only chances

They’ll never come around again

So dig deep and swing for the fences

You never know it might work out in the end

Come join the fight

So we can change the way we’re living

What’s left inside?

If you believe

Believe you’ll never give in

Come join the fight

Turn away and you’ll be sure to lose it

Hold onto those dreams

They’re the one thing they can’t take away now

Drop the puck Montreal, it was time to go.