Sequel: Operation Beautiful ›
Status: When you finish, comment! Tell me what your favorite part was ♥
It Started with a Bet...
"All I ever wanted was to see you smiling"
We enter the karaoke place without being loudly. Janice and Matt are chattering about something, Spike is glaring moodily at a wall and Haley is silent. Like there's something on her mind.
"Uncle Harris!" I yell to the aging African American behind the bar. He's like an uncle to me, so that's what I call him: Uncle Harris. He grins and waves but stops suddenly when he sees Haley. His wrinkled features slacken as he tries to speak.
"You-you-you-" she looks at him and smiles.
"it's good to see you, Mr. Harris." I'm surprised. How does she know him? Uncle Harris comes and approaches us, looking apologetically at Haley.
"Come on, Haley, don't do this." What? How many people in my life has she secretly know? She looks at him blankly and he grabs her arm. "I fought for it just as much as you did. It's not my fault they wouldn't let you in. I tried to tell the bouncer, but he wouldn't listen to me. They said it would be best for you."
I instantly think back to what my mom had said: about Haley's parents trying to pretend Trina never existed by destroying everything Haley owned at the time. Was it true? And did it extend to hang-outs? Haley just looks at him blankly. He pulls her into a hug.
"Come on. It's Uncle Harris, remember?" She doesn't move. "I'm sorry, Haley." His eyes are moist. Haley seems to collect herself. She smiles brightly and pats him on the back.
"Hey, it's all right. I'm better now." He nods and wipes his eyes.
"You are, aren't you?"
"Yup." She looks around distractedly. "Can I get my usual?" He frowns thoughtfully, then gives in. She gets up on the stage and I can feel her slipping away. She does this sometimes at home. She won't speak for a very long time and her eyes will gaze off into the distance. It's like she's in her own world, remembering and reliving something outside my comprehension. To be honest, it scares the crap out of me.
It's like Uncle Harris can sense it. He yells into the mic that this is a killer dance number and everyone better get up on their feet. He turns on the disco ball and the laser lights, but shuts down all lights on the small stage. All I Ever Wanted by Basshunter blares out the speakers, a confident female voice powering the vocals.
All I ever wanted, was to see you smiling,
All I ever wanted, was to make you mine,
It's only if you really look that you can see Haley. She's got a smile on her face, dancing in sync with someone who isn't there. She looks happier, younger.
I know that I love you,
Oh baby, why can't you see?
That all I ever wanted
Was you and me?
Janice tries to dance with me, but I push her away. I see Uncle Harris sitting at the bar, watching. I sit down next to him.
"Those bastards," he says, more to himself than to me. "What have they done to her?" My instinct is to tell him that he's wrong. Tell him that Haley really is okay. But seeing Haley like this makes me think that maybe my mom is right. But Haley acts so normal all the time...a shiver runs down my spine.
I get up quickly and start looking at the trophies on the counter. "Karaoke-ers of the Year: Haley and Trina." Now I know who she's dancing with.
When the song ends I grab Haley by the elbow and pull her off the dark stage.
"I want to go home." She looks at me as though seeing me for the first time. After a second, she nods.
"I have to talk to you." As we leave, Uncle Harris presses the trophy into her hands.
"Your parents dropped it off a while ago. I thought you'd want it back." She nods and takes it. We leave.
***
I follow her to her room and sit down on her bed. She looks at me, and I feel that familiar fear snake through me. I'm afraid that everything I've trusted so far has been a lie. I flop down on her bed.
"Tell me." She sits down, but I tug at the back of her shirt until she lies down on her back. She looks up at the ceiling, I look at her face.
"I'm not who you think I am," she begins. The words come out hesitantly, but eventually I understand.
A long time ago, for whatever reason, Haley locked herself away. The one I know and...dare I say it, have begun to like like, is a mask. And the real one doesn't understand how much I've opened up to her. The real one doesn't feel emotions.
At first I'm angry. She lied to me. Deceived me. And at the end of the day, she doesn't feel for me what I'm starting to feel for her. But when she tells me, confused, how I'm the first person she's missed in years that I'm the only one who knows this about her, my anger fades into something else.
I want to help her. I really think I can. But I'm also scared. It seems silly, but the Haley that spaces out with the smallest, most beautiful smile in the world, creeps the hell out of me. Sometimes, I feel more alone with her than without her.
But as we lay there together, I feel closer to her. She's handed her soul to me and I...well, even if she doesn't know, I've opened up to her more than to anyone else. And whether she scares me or not, I'm going to help her.
"Uncle Harris!" I yell to the aging African American behind the bar. He's like an uncle to me, so that's what I call him: Uncle Harris. He grins and waves but stops suddenly when he sees Haley. His wrinkled features slacken as he tries to speak.
"You-you-you-" she looks at him and smiles.
"it's good to see you, Mr. Harris." I'm surprised. How does she know him? Uncle Harris comes and approaches us, looking apologetically at Haley.
"Come on, Haley, don't do this." What? How many people in my life has she secretly know? She looks at him blankly and he grabs her arm. "I fought for it just as much as you did. It's not my fault they wouldn't let you in. I tried to tell the bouncer, but he wouldn't listen to me. They said it would be best for you."
I instantly think back to what my mom had said: about Haley's parents trying to pretend Trina never existed by destroying everything Haley owned at the time. Was it true? And did it extend to hang-outs? Haley just looks at him blankly. He pulls her into a hug.
"Come on. It's Uncle Harris, remember?" She doesn't move. "I'm sorry, Haley." His eyes are moist. Haley seems to collect herself. She smiles brightly and pats him on the back.
"Hey, it's all right. I'm better now." He nods and wipes his eyes.
"You are, aren't you?"
"Yup." She looks around distractedly. "Can I get my usual?" He frowns thoughtfully, then gives in. She gets up on the stage and I can feel her slipping away. She does this sometimes at home. She won't speak for a very long time and her eyes will gaze off into the distance. It's like she's in her own world, remembering and reliving something outside my comprehension. To be honest, it scares the crap out of me.
It's like Uncle Harris can sense it. He yells into the mic that this is a killer dance number and everyone better get up on their feet. He turns on the disco ball and the laser lights, but shuts down all lights on the small stage. All I Ever Wanted by Basshunter blares out the speakers, a confident female voice powering the vocals.
All I ever wanted, was to see you smiling,
All I ever wanted, was to make you mine,
It's only if you really look that you can see Haley. She's got a smile on her face, dancing in sync with someone who isn't there. She looks happier, younger.
I know that I love you,
Oh baby, why can't you see?
That all I ever wanted
Was you and me?
Janice tries to dance with me, but I push her away. I see Uncle Harris sitting at the bar, watching. I sit down next to him.
"Those bastards," he says, more to himself than to me. "What have they done to her?" My instinct is to tell him that he's wrong. Tell him that Haley really is okay. But seeing Haley like this makes me think that maybe my mom is right. But Haley acts so normal all the time...a shiver runs down my spine.
I get up quickly and start looking at the trophies on the counter. "Karaoke-ers of the Year: Haley and Trina." Now I know who she's dancing with.
When the song ends I grab Haley by the elbow and pull her off the dark stage.
"I want to go home." She looks at me as though seeing me for the first time. After a second, she nods.
"I have to talk to you." As we leave, Uncle Harris presses the trophy into her hands.
"Your parents dropped it off a while ago. I thought you'd want it back." She nods and takes it. We leave.
***
I follow her to her room and sit down on her bed. She looks at me, and I feel that familiar fear snake through me. I'm afraid that everything I've trusted so far has been a lie. I flop down on her bed.
"Tell me." She sits down, but I tug at the back of her shirt until she lies down on her back. She looks up at the ceiling, I look at her face.
"I'm not who you think I am," she begins. The words come out hesitantly, but eventually I understand.
A long time ago, for whatever reason, Haley locked herself away. The one I know and...dare I say it, have begun to like like, is a mask. And the real one doesn't understand how much I've opened up to her. The real one doesn't feel emotions.
At first I'm angry. She lied to me. Deceived me. And at the end of the day, she doesn't feel for me what I'm starting to feel for her. But when she tells me, confused, how I'm the first person she's missed in years that I'm the only one who knows this about her, my anger fades into something else.
I want to help her. I really think I can. But I'm also scared. It seems silly, but the Haley that spaces out with the smallest, most beautiful smile in the world, creeps the hell out of me. Sometimes, I feel more alone with her than without her.
But as we lay there together, I feel closer to her. She's handed her soul to me and I...well, even if she doesn't know, I've opened up to her more than to anyone else. And whether she scares me or not, I'm going to help her.