Save Me

She wasn’t strong enough….she just wasn’t. That’s what the doctors told me. I held her hand while she passed away, we were all there as she smiled and closed her blue eyes. Her last question still ran through my head.

Dad, what do you think Heaven is like?

I looked at the casket now in front of me, Frank sat quiet not uttering a word while the church filled with friends, family and band members we knew. I held Leana as she cried her poor heart out at the sight of her daughter in the box. I let tears slip out of my eyes, I remembered our last conversation.
“Promise you will always do what you love” Karine told me as she coughed

“I don’t know without you” I frowned

“But I will be in heaven jamming out so that is why you have to keep going!” Karine smiled

“Just for you baby girl” I cried

“Don’t cry daddy, I love you”

I saw my friends hugging their wives and my friends. I felt myself die when I saw her eyes close. Her body now pale laid in the black coffin in her favorite red dress, her hands wrapped around a white rosary. I saw flowers and pictures decorate the church. Frank stood up and looked at us

“She was the only one that understood what we were going through. She was my best friend and now.. I’m going to be alone. I want her back so bad, but she told me to smile in the worst of times. I don’t know how but I will just for you. I’m sorry I never got to tell you… I love you.” Frank walked down and cried while his mom hugged him.

I looked as Zacky, Matt, Brian, Johnny, Frank and I carried her casket out to the hearse. I got in the car and drove, next thing I knew. Her casket was being lowered, everyone threw the roses. That’s where I broke down, matt grabbed me I cried and cried swearing and cursing God for taking my daughter. The sun was out but I was dead inside.

Two weeks later

I looked at the empty vodka bottles on the ground and looked at my kit not touched. I closed my eyes and fell asleep feeling the alcohol take over.


“You promised!” I heard someone screamed

I shot up and I looked and found Karine sitting in a beach angry at me. I ran and hugged her, I cried and felt her pull away.

“Daddy you promised” She told me

“Who else have you been too?” I asked

“Everyone…you were the hardest to get into” She smiled

“I’m sorry it’s…you’re not here with me” I told her

“I’m there just not physically” She laughed

I shot up and looked at Leana walk in from work tired, I ran and left to the studio. We worked and finished the album slowly but surely.

Tour

“As many of you know, we lost an important part of the family” Matt started crying up putting his aviators on.

I wiped my eyes and heard everyone scream their sympathies. I heard Matt talk

“I want you to hold your phones, lighters, cameras anything! That will light this place up! I want her to know where we are tonight” Matt yelled

The entire arena light up and everyone heard Matt sing, we played.

No force inside of me
Stone cold lips and herecy
All lies into a degree
Losing who I wanna be
You'll find out right now
She may be out of her mind
But some day you will find
That sanity's left us all blind
And dragged us all behind
A moment seen through those eyes
Crystal blue disguise
They say that all beauty must die
I say it just moves on…

Matt finished and then I ran down from my spot as the Berry’s got on the kit and one pulled out a piano. We started playing and I saw people in the crowd crying. Of course all of our faces were soaked with tears.

now i think i understand how this world can over come a man