One Sexy Mother ***er

If you were to walk into the house in this moment, you would have heard loud music blasting, and me singing. Everyone was out of the house for the day, and I was too lazy to go with any of them. So I stayed home cooking and listening to my iPod which I hadn’t done in quite awhile.

I danced around the kitchen dressed in a dark purple tank top, and a pair of black cut off shorts. I sang along with one of the upbeat songs that I had on my iPod as I stirred a bunch of different things together. I didn’t know if it would turn out any good, but it never hurt to try when you’re bored.

The song changed to a rap song, and I rapped along with it, word for word laughing occasionally at how lame I was. It changed again to a heavier rock song.

I hummed along to the deranged love song as I spun around holding a pan that ad some food simmering in it, placing it on another burner that was twice as hot.

“Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times, I can't believe it, ripped her heart out right before her eyes.” I sang mixing more stuff together.

“Some one looks like their having fun.” Said a voice from behind me.

I turned around quickly, and saw April standing there.

I quickly turned the music down so that it was just background noise, and quickly pulled a pan off of the stove so that the contents wouldn’t burn.

“What are you cooking?” she asked as she sat down on one of the heartagram stools at the counter.

“I don’t really know yet. Just throwing things together that sound good…” I laughed as I started plating to finished food onto two separate plates, sliding one over to April.
She took a bite, and her eyes widened.

“That is really good. Where did you learn to cook?” She asked before taking another bite.
“I taught myself. My parents weren’t around much so I had to learn to feed myself, and I ended up being really good at it.” I shrugged before trying some myself, and nodding at the sweet and sour taste it had.

She nodded, and we ate in a comfortable silence.

“So where is everybody?” I asked her as I rinsed our dishes and everything else I had used to cook.

“Bam and the guys are out shooting an episode of Viva La Bam, and Jenn went away to visit some family and won’t be back for almost a week.” She explained as she helped me load the dish washer.

I couldn’t help but mumble a ‘good riddance’, and just as I said it, the song changed to the Green Day song Time Of Your Life.

I laughed a bit to myself, and turned the dish washer on.

“SO what was up with you and Bam on the couch?” April asked me as we sat down on the stools.

“Uh…Well….My father called me, and said some things. I was really upset, and he comforted me, and we ended up falling asleep.” I explained as I chipped at my nails, avoiding her gaze.

“Oh ok…And sorry about Jenn. She hasn’t been her normal friendly self while you’ve been here.”

I rolled my eyes at the counter so that she wouldn’t see.

“It’s fine.” I said. “So when is Phil getting back from his trip with Don Vito?”

Phil had been gone on a business trip with Vito for the last 2 weeks, so I haven’t really spent any time around them.

“Next week. I miss Phil, but I wish Vito would just stay where they are.”

I nodded. From what I’ve seen in episodes of Viva La Bam, Vito was a disgusting pig who you couldn’t understand a thing he was saying. And the way he reacts to being messed with, it’s no wonder Bam does the things he does.

I met Phil once, and I was half drunk, and hanging on Dunn’s back as he carried me through the house.

AS for Vito, I haven’t met him, and I don’t really want to.

“I’ll see you later April. I'm gunna go skate for awhile.” I said standing up, before going up to my room to grab my board which I hadn’t been on for awhile. I went out front, and started messing around on the snake run drive way, just skating around. I eventually started doing more and more tricks until I was going all out, and giving it my all. I did a few jump tricks over and on the Gorilla that was at one end of the driveway.

“Holy fuck.”

I landed my last trick, and stopped, looking to see Bam and the guys standing by the Hummer, which I still let Bam drive, looking at me shocked.

“What?” I asked rolling over to them. “Never seen a girl kick ass on a board?”

“I think I might be in love with you…..”Rabb said wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly.

I laughed and shoved him away, which cause me to roll a bit, stumble, and fall into Bam.
“Trying to steal my girl already Bam? I'm hurt.” Rabb joked holding his hand to his heart.
Bam and I laughed, and set me back on my feet.

“Guess whose back!!” yelled a familiar sounding voice.

“Knoxville!” Dico yelled before launching himself at the skinny man.

I stepped on the end of my board so that it flew up into my hands, and made my way into the house to put it away. Once it was safe stashed away under my bed, I went back downstairs in time to see Knoxville taking a piss in one of April’s plants.

“Lovely.” I commented as I walked through and down to the Pirate Bar to watch some TV.