Friends With Benefits

Fletch and I didn’t ditch the party after the incident with Heath, mainly because we were both now depending on Will as our ride. Heath had left to probably hook up with one of the other loose girls from school who was there, doing their best to wiggle their way in to the popular clique. While Will tended the bonfire, flirted with random girls, avoided his ex-girlfriends, and occasionally took a sip from the stale beer, Fletch and I wondered away from the scene near the cabin until we found a nice patch of grass to sit on. It was far enough away from all of the partying that we could sit and talk without anyone overhearing or really seeing us but close enough we still had enough of the bonfire’s glow through the trees we could see each other.

“What the hell would you do without me Lenny?” Fletch said as soon as we were alone. “I’m like your own personal super hero, bringing you out of uncomfortable situations.”

“I can’t believe you eavesdropped on my flamingo conversation with Will,” I replied. “What kind of person does that?”

“You wound me, Lenny,” Fletch shook his head.

“What am I supposed to do?” I snorted. “Swoon and say ‘my hero?’ Not likely!”

Some thanks I get,” Fletch pouted. “I valiantly storm the castle and rescue you from the dragon that is Heath Birnbaum and you repay me by hopping off my mighty stead and taking up with some woodcutter.”

“No more fairy tales or Renaissance-Faires for you,” I snorted.

“Honestly, Lenny,” Fletch said. “You’ve cut me to the quick. I feel utterly betrayed!”

“What do I have to do to stop you from getting all histrionic on me?” I snorted.

“Histrionic? Someone’s been studying for her SATs,” Fletch smirked.

“Yeah, well unlike you, I don’t have a backup plan of riding a white horse through the woods and rescuing princesses out of towers if I don’t get in to college,” I snorted.

“Why the hell would you agree to go out with a dipshit like Birnbaum, anyway?” Fletch asked me.

“Because he asked me out and I can’t go on and on about how desperate I am to get asked out and then reject the first person who comes and asks me,” I snorted. “Besides, he seemed really nice and sweet at the time, not like a guy who was trolling for some tail…”

“Any guy would be an idiot to make it obvious they were only trolling for some tail,” Fletch rolled his eyes. “That sort off defeats the purpose.”

“And how often do you go trolling for tail, Fletcher Murphy?” I said with an arched eyebrow.

“I don’t have to troll for tail. It finds me,” Fletch replied haughtily. I looked at him skeptically at him, but Fletch managed to keep a straight face.

“Oh yeah, Fletch. You have to beat the ladies off with a stick,” I snorted. “I mean, don’t you see the bevies of half-naked women gathering around us, just dying to have a piece of you?”

“You’ve bruised my pride, Lenny,” Fletch said, moaning as though he were mortally wounded.

“Yeah?” I snorted.

“Yes,” Fletch nodded. “In fact, I don’t feel as if I can go on with my pride in such shambles…”

“What do you want?” I sighed.

“Maybe a kiss would make it better,” Fletch grinned evilly.

“That’s for little kids. You’re a big boy now. Get some Ego-Neosporin or something,” I snorted. “Maybe an ego-sized Hello Kitty band aid…”

“What? No! An ego-sized Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles band aid all the way!” Fletch protested.

Honestly, I don’t know what happened. It all started off simply enough. Fletch and I were arguing over whether Raphael or Michelangelo was the coolest Ninja Turtle – I was pulling for Michelangelo but Fletch couldn’t give up on Raphael, in case you were wondering – and then somehow, bam, we were rolling around in the grass together, attached at the lip. It confuses me now that I think about it because Ninja Turtles is probably not the sexiest topic you can talk about. have no idea how arguing over the virtues of nunchakus versus a two sai can lead to raging hormones and what could be basically classified as dry humping.

However, I do remember the exact moment when I realized that we were no longer discussing cartoon turtles but in fact falling into another one of our probably unhealthy make out sessions. We had rolled through the grass a few feet from where we had been sitting and the light from the bonfire was no longer visible. I was on my back with grass in my hair and Fletch was on top of me with grass in his hair from said rolling. His lips were against mine, his tongue gently flicking over mine inside my mouth. My right hand was lying in the grass, stretched over my head and Fletch was holding that hand with his left. While my left hand was draped over the back of Fletch’s neck, his right hand had teased its way under my shirt, up my side, underneath my bra, and was now caressing the delicate and sensitive curves of my breast.

It was about then I realized I was letting Fletcher Murphy get to second base with me in the middle of a the night, in a state park while Will and several kids from school we didn’t like got hammered and tried to drown each other in the lake. And believe me, nothing hits you harder than realizing you’re being felt up in an area of land set aside by the state government to preserve natural flora and fauna. Sure, it felt good, but my brain kept repeating to me that this was wrong. There were tons of people only a few feet away from us and all it would take was someone to drunkenly stumble in our direction before our secret was revealed.

“Fletch,” I said, attempting to push him off. It didn’t work as he just continued his assault, kissing my lips, neck, and trailing his lips down to my collarbone. “Fletch…please…”

“You wanna get outta here?” Fletch asked huskily. He hadn’t lifted his face from my neck so the hot breath from his words landed against my skin, sending me into shivers. He proceeded to continue kissing just below my earlobe and I almost fell back into a trance again.

“Where would we go, huh?” I asked with, annoyed, trying to put myself out of the mood so I would have more willpower to force him off of me.

“I took Will’s car keys in case he got loaded,” Fletch replied. “We can take his car. One of his lame ass friends will drive him home…I didn’t drink any of that nasty ass crap Garretson brought, so I’m good to go…”

“We can’t leave Will here,” I snorted.

“He’s probably drunk off his ass,” Fletch replied, annoyed and no longer kissing me.

“When you got drunk off your ass, we didn’t leave you,” I pointed out. “Will and I picked you up, carried you to your car, took you to his place, and tucked you into bed to make sure you didn’t puke all over yourself.” Fletch sighed, rolling off me so he was laying on his back beside me in the grass.

“I hate it when you do this to me, Lenny,” Fletch groaned.

“Do what?” I asked.

“Look, you go find Will and tell him it’s time to head home. I’ll be along in a minute,” Fletch replied.

“Why aren’t you coming with me?” I pouted.

“Because I’m not exactly in a position to where I can move all that easily,” Fletch replied, gesticulating toward his nether regions. I blushed and then rushed back to where the party was in full swing to find Will. I looked around, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.

“Looking for Will?” Lee Hollander said, approaching me. He was stumbling around like crazing, though he wasn’t as bad as Kelly, who looked ready to piss herself she was so drunk.

“Yeah. Where did he get off to?” I asked.

“He left with some Westmoreland girl… friend of Kelly’s… well, ex-friend of Kelly’s now, I guess,” Lee shrugged. “He left his car. Took off in her VW Bug. I mean, that’s a stupid move, don’t you think? If you’re gonna hook up with a chick, you need an escape route the next morning.”

“Yeah… well thanks…” I grimaced. Walking away from Lee, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Will’s number. A rather drunken girl answered the phone and Will pulled it away from her before she could say anything more than hello.

“Hey, Lenny…” Will said, sounding particularly sloshed.

“Where are you?” I demanded to know. “Me and Kandy…”

“My name is McKenzie!” the voice giggled in the background.

“Yeah, me and Kim are in her car. She’s dropping me off at my place,” Will replied.

“Your car is here,” I said.

“It’s alright. Fletch can drive you home,” Will shrugged. “He took my keys anyway, lousy rat fink… So, I gotta go…Kayla’s taking off her top…”

“But Will…” I protested, just in time to hear the click. I sighed and put my phone away, only to find Fletch standing behind me, twirling Will’s key ring around his index finger. I glared at him, annoyed.

“Well, milady,” Fletch grinned at me. “Your chariot awaits.” Frustrated, I stomped my foot like a four-year-old, but went with Fletch anyway. After all, I had no other way of getting home.

When Fletch pulled Will’s car onto our street, there was a Volkswagen Beetle gunning it down the street. Will was sprawled out on the front lawn and his father was yelling at him. Will half-heartedly yelled back as Fletch stopped the car in this driveway. Fletch and I got a questioning look from Mr. Swain, who then returned to yelling at Will again. When Fletch and I got out of the car, we were only privy to the last part of the conversation.

“Well, if you’re going to act like that, then you can sleep out here on the lawn until you sober up!” Mr. Swain yelled before slamming and locking the front door.

“What happened?” I asked Will worriedly.

“Kendra pulled her car into the driveway and we were in the backseat and we were about to… you know…” Will sighed. He paused, let out a drunken hiccup, and then cuddled up with the mound of grass next to him. “Apparently, that nosy Mrs. Shutterhorne called my parents saying there was a strange car in our driveway and my Dad came out and totally cockblocked me. Then he scared Kelsey and she gunned it out of here, leaving me drunk off my ass on my lawn. Dad was pissed.”

“We saw,” Fletch nodded.

“I think he was more pissed that I didn’t manage to bring my car home,” Will shrugged. “Anyway, I’m gonna sleep here…”

“No,” I protested. “I’m not leaving you outside. It’s way too cold. You can stay in my room tonight…”

“Your room?” Fletch snorted. “Yeah, because Will really needs getting caught in a girl’s room after all the trouble he’s already in.”

“Well, what do you propose Mr. Knight in Shining Armor?” I snorted. “We can’t lug him up to the tree house and I would pay to see you drag him the three blocks to your house in this state.”

“I wanna sleep in the tree house!” Will demanded childishly.

“Will…” I sighed.

“No, I’m going!” Will protested. He jumped up and started running for the treehouse like a five year old, causing Fletch to smirk at me.

“Isn’t he deliciously handsome right now, Lenny?” Fletch asked.

“Shut up and help me catch him before he hurts himself,” I commanded, following Will.

Before I got there, Will had already managed to climb into the tree house somehow. I wasn’t sure how he could barely walk, yet he could climb up a rickety rope ladder without incident. He refused to come down and after repeatedly yelling that Fletch and I come up and join him, we obliged. It was either that or have him wake up the whole neighborhood and possibly get arrested for underage drinking. When Fletch and I were finally in the tree house, Will started throwing old sleeping bags at us.

“What are you doing?” Fletch grimaced.

“We’re having a sleepover!” Will pronounced. “Like when we were little.”

“Fletch has never been allowed at one of our sleepovers,” I reminded him.

“Hey!” Fletch grimaced.

“Aw, come on Ailee,” Will begged with his drunken puppy-dog eyes. “It would really mean a lot to me… we haven’t had a sleepover in ages, you know…”

“Fine, but only because I need someone to strong arm you in case you decide you can fly or something,” I sighed.

We laid out the sleeping bags and I made Fletch sleep closest to the entrance to the treehouse, just in case Will decided to go for a late night walk or something. Fletch could easily block Will from trying to step out into midair while I was much to frail to do so. I attempted to place myself against the back wall of the tree house since I was warmest. However, the guys simply weren’t having this.

“Will needs to sleep there,” Fletch said. “That’s closest to the window in case he needs to throw up. He can’t use the door because if he tries to throw up there, he’ll most likely fall out.”

“But…” I began to protest.

“I don’t wanna sleep next to Fletch,” Will pouted. “I don’t swing that way…”

“Oh my God!” I said, throwing my hands up in defeat. “Fine! Will can have the spot next to the wall.”

“You can sleep in the middle!” Will said happily. I sighed. It was closer to how he had acted when we were little kids, but I still hated the fact that he needed to be drunk to be the old Will I knew and love.

I helped Will into his sleeping bag and then go into my own. I turned on my side, the way I usually slept, only to find myself facing Fletch’s face. I grumbled as Fletch winked at me and then turned around, only for my face to get met with Will’s stinky alcohol breath. I finally laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling and wishing the night was over. I couldn’t believe I was spending a night in my treehouse between the guy I hated most and my secret crush. And of course, they had to make things even more awkward.

“Night, Ailee!” Will sing-songed, lazily draping one of his arms across me before starting to snore.

“Good night, Lenny,” Fletch whispered. Before I could say anything, Fletch placed the softest of kisses on my cheek and then rolled over, dozing off himself.