Wake up Under the Sun

John exhaled deeply; his eyes flickered and his arms tightened around me. Our “big day” was two days away. Two days, that’s it. I had my dress tucked away in my old bedroom closet at my parent’s house. I had gone with John to tailor his tux last week because Halvo was out of town. Everything was falling into place. Lex would be flying in from California tomorrow afternoon. She had helped me with the flowers, cake, table and chair decorations, booking a venue, and, of course, choosing the dress. Months had gone into this and, finally, we were two days away.

“Let’s just get married,” I whispered when he stirred again.

His lips formed into the ghost of a smile as he scooted closer to me, “Baby, we are getting married.”

I waited for his eyes to open but they didn’t. “No, I mean now. Like right now.”

“Yeah?” he mused, still partially asleep. “Where at?”

Biting my lip, I continued to stare at him. He looked completely flawless in his half-awake state. We had managed to put aside the anger and resentment; and, upon the insistence of the guys, we had even gone to a little therapy session to work on our communication. Things were looking up for us.

“I dunno. California? Vegas? We can just drive somewhere. Halvo’s home, right? He can be our witness,” I softly said, tone even and composed so it wouldn’t sound like I was begging to run away.

Slowly his green eyes opened. He had heard it in my voice. “Laney, what are you talking about? You’ve been planning this practically nonstop. Pretty sure you’ve even been planning in your sleep, that’s how intense you’ve been. Why are you suddenly changing your mind?”

I swallowed hard as I tried to think of how to explain it. It wasn’t cold feet, no. I was more than ready to marry him, over and over again if I could. I just had a problem with the formality of it all.

“I’m scared,” I murmured.

He pulled me even closer and kissed my forehead. He ran his fingers through my hair. “Scared of what? It’s going to be fine, Lane. I promise you.”

I sighed softly, nuzzling into his bare chest. “What happens afterwards? When all’s said and done, where do we go from there?”

“The airport?” he suggested, clueless. He really had no idea.

“What about after that, when we get back? This house will be rented out to someone else by then. You still live with your parents, John. And I don’t want to move back in with mine,” I explained. “We’ve been so caught up in everything else that we forgot to plan for what happens after.”

He shifted back and looked down at me. When he didn’t say anything, I looked up at him. He had a look of amusement in his eyes, as if this were anything to be laughing about. I opened my mouth to say something but his lips hurriedly met mine.

“Don’t stress,” he ordered, lips lingering next to mine. His voice dropped; it was smooth and deep, speckled with cracks from sleep. “We aren’t eloping. We’re going to do this right, and it’s going to be beautiful. I love you too much to rush this. Besides, baby, it’s less than two days away.”

“Okay,” I said and pressed my lips to his. I locked my arms around his neck. “No eloping. But-”

“Laney,” he warned, sternly eyeing me. “I’ve got a plan, okay? Just let it unfold.”

I meekly nodded, as if I had just been scolded. Feeling foolish, I changed the subject. “Are you ready for today?”

“For your mom’s last minute bridal shower? Hell yeah I am,” he laughed. His raspy voice caused chills to run up my spine. His hands gently rubbed my arms to get rid of the goosebumps. “I didn’t think guys were allowed to those things.”

“I don’t think it matters,” I said honestly, then yawned. “I think, more than anything, it’s a welcome party for the out of town guests.”

“Either way, I’m so ready for it,” he chuckled. “Can we get some more sleep now, though?”

I nodded instantly, fighting the urge to yawn again. He had a plan, and I would have to put all of my trust that it would follow through in time.

**

“Would you hold still?” I snapped, grabbed John by the shirt collar and yanked him toward me.

“Getting frisky, I love it,” he snickered, his hands resting on my hips.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “My parents put a lot of effort into this-”

“Baby, calm down,” he said smoothly, his hands now resting on my cheeks. He kissed the tip of my nose. “I understand this is a big deal.”

“It’s not just any sort of big deal,” I reminded him, eyeing him sternly. “We have some news to tell them, remember?”

He sighed, nodded, and took a step away. I watched as he fidgeted with the tie I had started for him. He eventually got it, then turned to look at me with his crooked grin.

“Ready?” he prompted, holding his arm out for me to take.

I looped my arm through his, holding my breath as we walked toward the door. I stopped short, however, when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I took my arm back, instantly fussing with my dress and hair.

“Do I look okay?” I asked him and glanced at him.

He slid his hands into the pockets of his black dress pants, prepping for this battle. “Lane.”

“Seriously, John,” I sighed, helplessly tugging at the fabric. “I feel like this isn’t working. Maybe I need to change? Or just.. They don’t need to-”

“Would you calm down?” he cut me off, mocking my tone from moments ago. I squared my jaw, locked my eyes with his, and let my hands rest at my sides. “You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, so calm down, take a deep breath, and get your shit together so we can get this party started.”

“Fuck you,” I exhaled, shoulders slumping. I turned so I was facing the mirror again. “Why do you always ruin moments?”

He rolled his eyes, wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, and rested his chin on top of my head. He pulled me into him, “Laney.”

I sighed. It was useless. “Let’s just.. Let’s just get this over with.”

I closed my eyes when I felt his lips sweetly press to my temple. He took my hand in his and together we headed downstairs.

The house was decorated in blues of all shades. My mother had definitely gone overboard on this brunch. She had over-planned everything; too much food, too many decorations. But, somehow, it all came together. It was an organized chaos, in all reality.

“There they are!” I heard John’s mom shout over the conversational buzz overtaking the house.

John’s hand squeezed mine tightly as we paused on the last step of the staircase. I looked up at him, sucking my lip between my teeth. His eyes sparkled and his smile was bright, confident; he was so positive about this.

It was his confidence that got me through the brunch. He answered questions faster than I could. He laughed at my mom’s stupid, awkward jokes. He mingled with relatives neither of us could recognize.

By the end of the afternoon, I found myself sitting, alone, on the swing attached to Kaden’s playset. I watched as everyone seemingly forgot I even existed as they welcomed John to the family. It was fine by me, really. I needed to be alone in order to think clearly, because so much was about to change.

“Laney?”

I looked to my left and saw Kaden perched in the playset, as if he were hiding from the madness. I wished I were small enough to do the same. “Yeah?”

“Are you happy?” he questioned innocently.

“Of course I am, Kay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He stared at me for a moment before he disappeared down the slide. Seconds later, he popped up in front of me. His little tie had started to come undone and his shirt was slightly untucked in the back from playing so much. His hair was a mess compared to how neatly our dad had combed it earlier in the day. But everything about him just screamed effortless joy.

He shrugged in response. “You look sad.”

I pulled him onto my lap and kissed his forehead. “I’m not sad, buddy. I can promise you that.”

He hummed as he thought. He didn’t understand. But, hell, neither did I. He looked up at me with bright, curious eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Things are going to change,” I told him. “John and I are getting married.”

“Yeah, but you love each other, right?” he questioned. When I nodded, he continued. “It will be okay.”

“Yeah, I guess it will be,” I smiled and kissed the top of his head. I stood up, resting him against my hip and carried him with me as I walked back into the party.

John’s smile brightened when he saw me approaching. He stood up from the table, taking my hand in his. He quickly kissed me – and it was only a short kiss because of the loud protests coming from Kaden.

“You ready, babe?” John asked, chucking as Kaden continued to make comments about how gross kissing is.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied.

“Guys, we have some news,” John said over the noise level. When everyone looked at us, I felt my cheeks flush. “We’re moving. Not far, but we’re getting out of Tempe.”

“We are?” I questioned, shocked.

He looked down at me and grinned. “Yeah, baby. I told you I had a plan.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?” I asked. “I don’t even know if I can afford it. I’ve never seen it. What is it? A house? An apartment?”

John kissed me. “Don’t worry about it. It’s a house and it’s all taken care of.”

**

“What?” Pat demanded, the anger building in his little voice.

“I – I don’t understand?” Garrett stuttered, grasping for clarity.

John glanced at me and I could see the glint of worry in his eyes. I turned my attention to the four boys staring at us, shocked and speechless. They were taking it worse than our families had, and we weren’t sure how to respond; we had anticipated this reaction from our parents, not our best friends.

“It won’t affect the band,” John shakily replied.

“We talked about it a lot before we decided on anything,” I continued.

Kennedy sighed. “Why are you justifying?”

Everyone looked at him. I felt grateful that he spoke up, and that what he had to say was in our favor. Neither John nor I had any idea how to further approach the subject.

“We just-”

Kennedy shook his head, cutting John off before he could finish his sentence. “We’re upset, John, of course we are. But what can we do about it? It’s not our place to boss you two around. It’s our job to support you in whatever you decide to do.”

Jared stepped forward after a moment of silence and engulfed me in a huge bear hug, lifting me off the ground. “We’re shocked as shit, but we all saw it coming. We’re proud of you. And I think it’s safe to say, we hope for your sake it won’t be a John the sixth.”

Once my feet had been firmly planted back on the ground, my heart sputtered back to life. “Oh my God,” I exhaled in a rush. “We’ve been talking about how to tell you guys for, like, two months now.”

“Yeah, and for your information, assholes, you reacted worse than our parents did,” John told them.

The boys laughed, muttering apologies here and there before they congratulated us. We sat around in the practice room at Pat’s house for hours, talking about the future plans for the band. Not once was the baby mentioned in a negative way. They were taking the challenge and running with it, thinking of ways to work around obstacles, including some time off from touring so they could focus on writing.

“You okay?” Kennedy asked, sitting down beside me. We had moved to the backyard by sunset.

“I think so,” I told him truthfully. I looked at him and gave him a smile. “Not much to complain about, you know?”

He chuckled, tilting his head back so he could get a better view of the sky. He sank in the chair, legs stretched out in front of him and hands folded neatly on his stomach. “You have a lot to be freaking out about,” he said. “It amazes me how calm you are about everything right now.”

My lips fell into a frown. “Ken..”

His eyes settled on mine, “I just mean that you’re holding up great, Lane. You’ve come a long way from the girl who was freaking out about jealous little 15 year olds calling you a name. I’m proud of you. I am.”

“Oh, Kenny,” I said softly, smiling as I placed a hand on his. He smiled slightly before turning his gaze back to the sky. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

***

“Aaaaand it’s really official now,” Loren sang from below as John set down the pen. I squeezed his hand excitedly, bouncing slightly on my bare feet. “You just signed your life away.”

“Shut up, Loren,” I laughed. John tugged me into his arms, enclosing me in them. “I’m not paying you to make comments.”

He stood up, lowering his camera so he could look at me. “Ouch, Delaney. Ouch.”

I grinned at him and John chuckled, shaking his head. “Let’s keep the bickering to a minimum, okay guys? Just got married over here. Kinda freaking out.”

As Loren raised his camera again, he smiled. He silently took a few candid pictures of us together before he spoke. “You two are meant for each other. Nothing’s standing in your way now.”

“There you are!” Lex yelled, out of breath, as she skidded into the room. “Did you two sign the certificate? Did you get the pictures, babe? We need to get everything in the party together so we can finish pictures and cut the cake. You two have a flight to catch tonight! We can’t dillydally around all night long.”

“No one’s standing in your way, either. Especially not her,” Loren commented, amused by Lex’s eager tone.

Lex glared at Loren before she turned her attention back to us. “Lane, I have your shoes. You need to put them back on for the group shots.”

I sighed. The heels we had found to match the dress were perfect and gorgeous in every single way, but they hurt like all hell. I had taken them off as soon as I could and I never wanted to put them back on. However, I took them from Lex and nodded in understanding.

“We’ll meet you outside,” I told her. Loren took Lex by the hand and led her outside, kissing her temple as they went on their way. I looked up at John and couldn’t help but smile at the shocked, far off look in his eyes. “Too late to back out now, babe.”

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “I was just thinking about everything we’ve been through. In no time at all, we ended up here, at some major checkpoints in life. I’m terrified, but I know I’ll be able to get through it as long as I have you by my side.”

“I love you,” I said with a smile, standing on my toes so I could kiss him.

“Til death do us part,” he said softly, and kissed me again. “And even in the afterlife.”