Faded Memories

7 days and 18 hours was how long I haven’t talked to the guys and let me tell you, those days were long and empty. Why was avoiding them? I couldn’t bring myself to believe that I forgot about them. I wasn’t ready to face them. You can’t just pick up from where you left off. Something happened and it really had a huge effect. It’s like being in a relationship, then breaking up and suddenly getting back together. It just doesn’t work that way. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were mad at me for forgetting them and denying that this all wasn’t possible. I’m pretty mad at myself.

I stared at the ceiling and tried to create pictures out of them. I haven’t been getting much sleep because all the memories just kept coming back to me and the car crash scene would replay all the time. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and looked through my text messages. I hadn’t looked at any of them and so I had a bunch to go through. I decided to read the most recent ones.

I miss seeing your face, babygirl. Call me when you can.

Okay, so Michael wasn’t mad at me. I guess I could call him later. I moved onto the next text from Zach.

Hey Abby,
I just want you to know I’m sorry for not telling you about the past. I hope you’re not mad at me and just so you know, I’m most definitely not mad at you.

Alright, two down, two more to go.

My pocket full of sunshine, I miss talking to you. When you’re ready, call me so we can hang, okay?

I stopped. I couldn’t read Cameron’s texts or hear any of the voicemails he left me. Anything that reminded me of him just kept bringing me back to that day. I picked up my necklace that was left on my nightstand. I held it up, letting it dangle in front of my eyes. I put the necklace on and let it lay just above my heart. I went downstairs and into the kitchen where I knew Autumn was.

“I screwed up, Autumn,” I placed my hands on my head, and had my arms rest on the counter. “If I didn’t make Cameron leaving for tour such a big deal, this wouldn’t have happened. Mom and dad would still be here, I wouldn’t be at such an awkward position with the guys and I wouldn’t have gotten into an argument.”

When I returned home from seeing my parents, I told Autumn everything from finding the key necklace to the all the memories before the car crash. It wasn’t hard for Autumn to remember, nor was she in denial like I was. It all just clicked in her head.

“Abby, you need to understand that it’s no one’s fault. If it happened, it happened. In the long run, the accident may just bring you guys together even closer,” she said. “Look,” she placed her hands on the counter, “I know you probably don’t want to talk to Cameron right now, but at least talk to the guys. See if you can get their insight on things and how you guys can pick up where you left off.”

“Can you call them for me?” I handed her my phone.

She took it from my hands and dialled one of the guys’ phone numbers.

“Zach? It’s me, Autumn.” I waited anxiously, then told her to put it on speaker.

“Oh, Autumn. Sorry, I was hoping it was Abby.” I covered my mouth, trying to cover my laughter. Autumn rolled her eyes, and started to speak.

“Abby wants you, Nathan, and Michael to come over.”

“Really?” He said with excitement. “Wait, what about Cameron?”

“Cameron did tell you that they got into a bit of an argument, right?”

“Yeah, he said that Abby didn’t believe anything because apparently she would’ve remembered us.” I bit my bottom lip, feeling bad that I didn’t remember them.

“Can you call Michael and Nathan and meet us at our house?”

“Sure, we’ll be there soon.”

Autumn hung up the phone and handed it back to me. I wasn’t exactly ready to face them with all the guilt I had whenever I saw or heard them, but I missed seeing their smiling faces. I guess it was now or never.



“Abby!” They yelled once I opened the door. They surrounded me and spread their arms around me for a group hug.

“We missed you so much.” They said in unison. We all let go and sat down in the living room.

“I really did miss you guys,” I confessed.

“Then why didn’t you talk to us for so long?” Michael asked, sounding hurt.

“I just felt guilty for forgetting you guys and denying that all this happened. It was just so much to handle. Plus, I thought you guys would be mad at me for forgetting you in the past.”

“We could never be mad at you. We love you too much.” Nathan said, giving me another hug.

“I can’t help but feel guilty. If I didn’t make you guys touring such a big deal, none of this would’ve ever happened.”

“Abby, it’s not your fault at all,” Zach tried to convince me. “If it was meant to happen, then so be it.”

“I’m sorry for not remembering you guys,” I apologized.

“It’s fine, there’s no need for you to apologize. Like Zach said, it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. We’re just happy to have you in our lives again.”

“So, what should I tell Cameron?” I asked, changing things a bit.

“I don’t know. That’s something you’ll have to think about.” Michael put his hands on the back of his head and stretched his feet out.

“I’m not sure if I’m even ready to talk to him.” I began to fiddle around with my shirt.

“I think you should talk to him now. You can’t avoid him forever.”

I got up from the couch and headed for the door.

“I’m going to go for a walk to think things over.” I put on my shoes and unlocked the door. “I’ll be back. You guys go ahead and eat whatever Autumn cooked.”

“Sweet, more food.” I heard Nathan say before closing the door.

I walked along the pavement, my eyes glued to the sidewalk. I decided to walk over to the park, even if it did hold many memories that would probably hurt me if I ever thought about it. I walked past couples who held each other’s hand, smiling and laughing as they whispered words of love. I looked to my right at the playground that was empty. It didn’t take long for me to realize the boy with his messy brown hair and green eyes sitting by “our” tree, looking at was probably a photo album. I took a seat beside him while he never reacted.

“Hey,” I greeted with a half smile. He averted his eyes to me, surprised. He stared at me, taking in all of my facial features kind of like the way I did when I reconnected with him. He glanced at one of the photos which I assumed was us then back at me. I half smiled at him again, happy to see his face. After all, I did love him and miss him.

“Hey,” he said in a monotone voice. He continued to flip through the photo album before saying another word.

“I’m sorry,” we said at the same time. His expression was surprised.

“What are you sorry for? I’m the one who didn’t tell you about touring. If I told you earlier, we wouldn’t be caught in a mess like this,” he said guiltily.

“But I shouldn’t have made it such a big deal.” He shook his head, disagreeing with me.

“It’s not your fault, Abby.” I heard for the billionth time. “I should be the one who’s sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you for not remembering. I just didn’t want to lose you like I did before.” He took my hand and held it, covering the heart that I drew.

“But I never did forget you, Cam. Because the moment you told me everything, I remembered it all. All these memories didn’t leave, they were just tucked away only to have been found later.” He looked up from our hands that were still together, those eyes greener than the earth. I moved closer and kissed him, missing his lips that haven’t touched mine for so long. I pulled away, hoping I wasn’t moving it all too quickly. I tried to read the expression on his face, but it was easy to tell that he was happy. He revealed his smile, something I had really missed.

We decided to forget about what happened and apologized anyway, even if it was no one’s fault. He picked up the photo album, took my hand in his and walked away from our tree.



I smiled at them, happy to see them with Cameron. I glanced at the flowers we placed in between them and the words that were engraved in the stones. I talked to them through my mind, knowing that they could hear every word I said. I knew they were watching us, happy to see that we were together.

“2 years and I’m still going strong just for you. I miss you guys.” I said out loud. Cameron wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Williamson, you’ve an amazing daughter,” Cameron also said out loud.

“I love you guys.” We walked away and made our way to the car.

After making up with the guys, we become closer than we thought we could. Even though we avoided talking about the past, it didn’t hurt as much whenever I thought about it. As for the mistakes in the past, well, that’s just another faded memory.