I Miss 'Normal'

I don't skip meals.

I don't purge.

I don't binge.

I weigh 105.

I'm getting help.

I think I may be getting better.

I just pray I don't slip.

I don't think I can make it through it again if I did.

I'm physically getting better, but that negative voice is still there.

I still want to cut.

Binge.

Purge.

Cut.

Starve.

Exercise.

Take pills.

Lose weight.

Reach 85 pounds.

But, I can't, because it will never make me happy, I'm not allowed, and I won't admit it, but it would destroy me.

I'm happy now, though.

Really.