Your Truth
Chapter One.
I’m not going to pretend I knew what I was doing. I allowed my feet to lead the way as I followed where they went. The path they took was rocky, hidden; I wouldn’t be found if things didn’t turn out how I would hope. All the while, I imagined his face. His eyes. His lips. His touch. All the while, I missed him, loved him… needed him. How had I lived without him for so long? I was stupid to think I could survive without him in my life; without his trust, his friendship which for a while, had been enough.
As I reached the spot, the place, I could almost see the memories laced into the glittering leaves of the damp trees. My mind took me back to times I thought I couldn’t relive; or that I didn’t want to. Betrayal, in a kiss. One kiss. I’d been foolish to think it wouldn’t change a thing. The cold night air, the aroma of the burnt out fire, it all came back to me as I sat on the sleepers. The atmosphere remained though, we had all moved on. Only I returned to the place that once was filled with joy, laughter and youth.
I don’t know what I wanted to happen; what I expected. That he’d seen me? That he would follow me? I didn’t need him to understand, just to know. He walks hand in hand with the truth, so I give it to him. I explained what had happened that night. How I’d let it happen again, been disloyal. At the time, he didn’t know how I felt. He still doesn’t. I told him, I couldn’t stand myself. He looked at me, saw me, right through me. For a moment even, he was concerned, he cared. I couldn’t go on.
The memory erased itself from view as I sensed him. His warmth. He was here. He’d come to me. Part of me wanted to believe it’s because he already knew. But he didn’t, and I would still have to tell him. But how can I explain something that words aren’t worthy of? I glanced at him for a second as he stood still in the trees, staring at me. It was a few moments before he came to me, sat next to me.
“I’ve missed this place.” His words, they split the air and spoke to me. I turned my head toward him and nodded, my gaze kept on the ground.
“It’s time.” I stood and he followed. “You need to know. I can’t keep this from you any longer. I’ve felt bad about this for so long that sometimes I hate myself for it.”
“You want to tell me why you feel so terrible for kissing him.” He needed no reply. “Say it. Those three words. I want to hear you say them. If you say them I know it’s true.”
“I… I love you.”
“I’m sorry.” It happened. Time stopped for us.
As I reached the spot, the place, I could almost see the memories laced into the glittering leaves of the damp trees. My mind took me back to times I thought I couldn’t relive; or that I didn’t want to. Betrayal, in a kiss. One kiss. I’d been foolish to think it wouldn’t change a thing. The cold night air, the aroma of the burnt out fire, it all came back to me as I sat on the sleepers. The atmosphere remained though, we had all moved on. Only I returned to the place that once was filled with joy, laughter and youth.
I don’t know what I wanted to happen; what I expected. That he’d seen me? That he would follow me? I didn’t need him to understand, just to know. He walks hand in hand with the truth, so I give it to him. I explained what had happened that night. How I’d let it happen again, been disloyal. At the time, he didn’t know how I felt. He still doesn’t. I told him, I couldn’t stand myself. He looked at me, saw me, right through me. For a moment even, he was concerned, he cared. I couldn’t go on.
The memory erased itself from view as I sensed him. His warmth. He was here. He’d come to me. Part of me wanted to believe it’s because he already knew. But he didn’t, and I would still have to tell him. But how can I explain something that words aren’t worthy of? I glanced at him for a second as he stood still in the trees, staring at me. It was a few moments before he came to me, sat next to me.
“I’ve missed this place.” His words, they split the air and spoke to me. I turned my head toward him and nodded, my gaze kept on the ground.
“It’s time.” I stood and he followed. “You need to know. I can’t keep this from you any longer. I’ve felt bad about this for so long that sometimes I hate myself for it.”
“You want to tell me why you feel so terrible for kissing him.” He needed no reply. “Say it. Those three words. I want to hear you say them. If you say them I know it’s true.”
“I… I love you.”
“I’m sorry.” It happened. Time stopped for us.