Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

I spent most of my night in the music room, practicing 'Stairway to Heaven' until my fingers were practically bleeding. The stung painfully as pressed my fingers against the strings of my acoustics. I decided that I would give it up for the night and packed up all the things that I was using, which wasn't much. I switched off all the lights and headed up to my room. I found Tommy sitting on the edge of the bed with a guitar in his hand.

He looked up to me as I walked in, my fingers pressed against my lips and licking the blood of them. I felt like some kind of animal as I licked my fingers. Tommy watched me walk to the bathroom, switching on the light and making sure that I got no blood on switch. I ran my fingers underneath running water and the stung like no tomorrow, causing me to make a noise. I instantly pulled my fingers from the water and studied them, watching the blood run from them. Drips of blood fell against the white sink before running down the bowl to the drain.

I made a clicking noise with my tongue as I searched through the cupboards in the bathroom and found a box of bandaids. I sat down on the toilet and pulled them out of the box, my fingers scratching against the cardboard and making me shiver. I managed to pull out one of the bandaids and wrapped it around my index finger. I looked up to the door to the bathroom and saw Tommy walking towards it, setting down his guitar upon the bed. He knelt down in front of me, taking the bandaids and wrapping them around each of the fingers that I had pressed against the strings of my guitar. He gave me a lecturing glance as he placed the last bandaid upon my pinky.

"You shouldn't work yourself so hard," Tommy said as he put the rest of the bandaids away. "How often does this happen?"

"It hasn't happened in a while," I said as he rested his arms upon my knees and rested his chin upon them. "This time, I didn't want to face myself so I practiced as hard as I could."

Tommy showed me his fingers and took them, studying the redness. At least his fingers didn't end up like mine but his fingers had been hardened by years of practice. My fingers were getting there but they could still be broken, as demonstrated now. I pressed his fingers to my lips, kissing them. It helped me pull Tommy towards me, kissing his lips passionately. When we broke apart, our eyes studied each other in silence with our hands still interconnected. After a few moments, I pulled my fingers from Tommy's and rested them upon his face. I loved his eyes, how they studied me and how they desired me. They were like something that you couldn't tear yourself away from and were completely addicted to. That was like me with his eyes.

"Instead of you supporting Adam, I think you should have a few items that you should perform," Tommy said. "An acoustic act to a pop show doesn't really work, does it?"

"Unless I have a band that can support me," I said, my fingers stroking his cheeks.

"Which you don't right now," Tommy said. "I'll gladly accompany you and Adam if need be."

"You've forgiven Adam?" I said, confused.

"Just like you forgave him but I am still hesitant about him," Tommy said as he pulled me from the toilet and helped me into the bedroom. "It's not like I'm going to leave you with him all by yourself. Not after what happened last time."

"It's not like I shouldn't leave you alone, either," I said, finding something to wear and getting Tommy to help me slip them on. "You're the one that was getting the blow job."

"That wasn't my fault," Tommy said as I then helped him change into a pair of long pans and a baggy t-shirt. "I told you she forced herself upon me."

"But you let her do it," I said, running my hands over his chest before he put on his baggy t-shirt. "You could've stopped her."

"I prefer not to hit women," he said to me as I moved to the bed and slid myself underneath the covers. "I tried to force her off me but I couldn't do anything more without injuring her or creating bruises. Who would know where she would got with the story."

"I really hope she doesn't go to Vogue about it," I said as Tommy joined me in the bed, resting my back against the wall as he rested his head against my chest. "Those photo's and article should be coming through soon."

My hand went around the back of his head and pulled at his hair, his hands embracing me as he said, "You know, these are getting more comfortable as time passes."

"At least you don't have to carry them around," I said with a laugh as I Tommy kissed one of my nipples through my shirt. "They're getting more annoying as time passes. They hardly fit into anything anymore."

"Maybe we should've waited a few more days before we went into the photo shoot," Tommy said as his hand rested upon my stomach. "But then something else would have been more visible, too."

"I just hope that it's not too painful when it happens," I said. "But I just hope that it doesn't effect my workflow too much."

"Even if you had the baby on tour, it would not interrupt anything," Tommy said as his hand travelled further up my shirt, lifting it over my head as he did so and revealed my numb breasts. "Together, along with the help of Adam if needed but he will be too focussed on other things to full take care of you, we will get through this."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I almost laughed when I got a copy of the photographs from 'Rolling Stone' and 'Vogue' in the mail that was sent for the whole band. We asked them to send all mail to here since the rest of the bands as they were hardly living at home anymore. I walked into he kitchen where I found Tommy, Monte and Adam around the bench with bowls of food in front of them. I took a seat beside Adam and he pushed a bowl of food in front of me, glancing down at my growing stomach.

I placed a hand upon his, telling him that he was alright through one action and began to open the package from 'Rolling Stone'. I handed the article to Adam while the rest of us looked through the pictures. The cover was upon the front and I almost fell off my chair at the sight. Adam was standing with his back to the camera, looking over his shoulder towards me while I had my arm across my chest and my elbow upon that arm. My fingers rested upon my lips and a seductive look crossing my face.

I picked up the shot, Tommy and Monte taking the other photographs and flicked through them. I showed the photograph to Adam who smiled widely at the sight. He soon turned back to the article and finished reading it while I continued to study the photograph. His eyes were bright as ocean blue while mine remained a deep dark chocolate. My fingers rested upon Adam's cheek in the photograph, the man sitting next to me going across the able to Monte. Tommy slid out of his seat and sat beside me, taking the photograph that I was looking at. He smiled.

"You look beautiful," he said and I nudged him in the arm.

"Want to have a look at the 'Vogue' one?" I said as I set down the photograph and picked up the 'Vogue' package.

I pulled the articles out of the photographs and the article without a word of confirmation from Tommy. I gave him the photographs and began reading the article that was titled 'Kassandra: Not the Average Girl.' I smiled at this but it soon faded as I continued reading the article. All that I had said, she had printed. Right now, I regretted all that I had said or even uttered. As I flicked through the articles, I found a note at the end that was addressed to me.

Kassie,

I am so sorry that your entire story went to print. It wasn't my decision, it was the editors. It was claimed that there was more to the story than what I had written and that's when the tape had been taken hold of. At least your pregnancy didn't go to print, but that wasn't exactly on the tape, was it? As for your relationship with Tommy, it's not like that isn't public enough. If you have any complaints, in no doubt that you will, the number to my editor is attached.

Hope the pregnancy is going well and I hope that Tommy and yourself have a wonderful life together.

Emma Jones

I got off the seat and went to the home phone that was in the kitchen, dialling the number that was at the bottom of the letter. It wasn't long before the editor answered the phone and I completely went off the chain.

"What the fuck were you thinking of doing publishing a story like that?" I screamed into the phone, making Tommy, Monte and Adam look towards me. "I was being sarcastic when I started off the interview like that. I didn't think you would take it seriously!"

"Be glad that we haven't sent this story to print yet, Miss McDonald. We wanted to gain your approval before we published it."

"So no one else has it apart from me?" I said, my breathing calming a little. "Well, that was a little relief."

"I was being sarcastic, Miss McDonald, like you were being at the start of the interview. Emma happened to fight for your case so that copy that you have is an old edition. The start of the interview has been cut out of the article but that doesn't mean that the story of your rape that cause you to possibly lead to you to become pregnant did not become published. If you seriously do not like what was written in there, I suggest you clear it up immediately upon a tv show, radio station or with a statement that can be clearly vocalised to the press."

"Doesn't it count that I'm vocalising it to you right now?" I retorted, Tommy coming to me and looking at me with a concerned expression. I began to get a stabbing in my stomach followed by an excessive amount of pain coursing through my body. "I don't care if you have to reprint, I want that story edited."

I hung up the phone and fell to the ground, Tommy catching me and slowing my fall. My face contorted in pain with my arms going around my stomach. Everything around me just went soft, hearing Tommy yelling at someone else in the room to get the ambulance right away. I felt the space in between my legs getting wet but I didn't want to look down. I knew what was happening, I had gotten to stressed and I hadn't been eating right either. I didn't know if it was a cause for what was happening to me but in that moment, it certainly seemed like it.

Tommy held me in his arms tightly, feeling his wet cheeks press against mine. His hand went to my stomach and shook as he held it there. Tommy's reacting to a baby that was not even his just showed how much he cared for my health and wanting to go through with this pregnancy. No matter how much I wanted to cry with him, I had to be the strong one. I couldn't let the situation be overwhelmed by emotion. I had to be strong in this time of darkness.