A Fatal Attraction

As I stood at the end of the steps leading to Tristan’s front door a wave of nervousness crashed into me harder than any other emotion I’ve felt in a long time. I’d never been so nervous to knock on someone’s door before, so this was definitely a strange feeling. I could easily find Tristan’s window, just as seen in the movies and read in the books, but even to vampires that’s considered stalking. I never understood what gave people fantasies about such things.

Reluctantly, I knocked. From what seemed like the back of the house, a female voice called, “Just a minute.” I waited. If my heart was still beating, it would be thudding against my chest because of the extreme nervousness. I only know this because Allyson spoke of the hard lump in her throat and the loud thumps of her heart when she became anxious or nervous.

Even with the thoughts of Reziv’s horrid plan clouding my mind, I couldn’t shake the feelings of nervousness away. It was something I couldn’t control and didn’t understand. Whenever the door opened to a slightly plump woman, I could feel my nervousness rise even higher which I didn’t think was possible. Her grey-blue eyes were rimmed with light brown eyeliner, with small crow’s feet tugging at the corners. This must be Tristan’s foster mother. Her brightly colored lipstick lips turned upright to a big smile that made its way to her tired eyes.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Hello, my name is Aiden,” I spoke carefully to keep the nervousness away from the surface of my voice. “And I was wondering if-“

“-yes, Tristan is home,” she interrupted my sentence. How did she know I was going to ask that? “Come in, please.”

A soft smile tugged on my lips to show my appreciation, but I was still confused that she knew what I was going to say. The smells of cookies greeted me and reminded me of Allyson’s house. The walls and carpeting of Allyson’s home weren’t the simple pale cream color that surrounded this room though. Simplicity was nice sometimes, but this was too basic for my taste.

“Tristan!” She called from the bottom of the stairs, then hurried over to me. “Tristan will be down soon; take a seat if you’d like. Are you thirsty at all?”

I shook my head and said, “No, thank you.”

I looked about the room for anything and everything to distract myself from the foreign feelings that surged through my body. The only things I could keep my attention to were the modern bookshelves filled with mostly textbooks on social and physical sciences and family portraits of Tristan, his sister and his foster parents. Tristan’s looks didn’t change drastically over the years, but he matured very nicely. I turned my gaze to the heavy footsteps that strutted down the staircase and found that Tristan was the owner of them. His white pearls and green orbs could light up a darkened room. I could feel my face getting hot as he smiled widely at me. You would think vampires couldn’t blush since we don’t have a beating heart, but the blood we drink from the living remains in our systems to help that.

“Hi, Aiden,” Tristan spoke warmly. “Do you want to come up? I have to finish cleaning up some.”

I nodded and rose to my feet, following him back up the stairs. The hallway to his room was longer than it looked like it would be from the outside, but it was just as simple as the living room had been. I suppose I just don’t like the modern style of home.

“I’ll bring some snacks up in a few minutes!” I heard his mom call to us as the door shut.

My gaze fluttered across his room. It was small, complete with a bed, dresser, desk, night stand, posters, and a neat stack of CDs against the wall. His walls were a light shade of a darker blue, while the carpet was a faded white color. The desk, opposite of the bed, had school papers piled on it, next to a small desk lamp. There wasn’t much of a mess besides clothes on the floor, so I didn’t understand what he meant by finish cleaning.

“I know it’s not much,” he muttered nervously, “but it’s my room.”

I gave a weak smile, remembering why I had come over to his home in the first place. “It is fine; I didn’t come here to judge your room.”

He then laughed. “Why did you come over anyway?”

My smile faltered and I couldn’t manage a fake smile before he noticed and concern showed through the details of his gorgeous face. I regretted coming here to tell him, but for some reason, I felt like I needed to tell him the truth. He deserved it somehow.

“What is it Aiden?” He touched my arm gently, as if not sure what to do.

I looked at up at him and wished I hadn’t. He was breathtakingly gorgeous and I didn’t even have breath to take. Even with worry thick in his features, he was gorgeous and I didn’t understand the urge I felt to kiss his soft pink lips. I let out a small sigh, and closed my eyes, hoping the urge would go away. I couldn’t help but allow my mind wonder.

Why did I come here? Why do I need to tell him the truth? I don’t even know him. More importantly, why do I feel the need to kiss him? What is wrong with me? He is a stranger, but I don’t want to leave him.

I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, searching me to see if he could figure out what I was feeling or thinking. I was hoping he couldn’t. As I stood there, with his hand gently on my arm, I was dizzy. Nothing was making sense and it was making me lightheaded. My head was spinning around the room. I didn’t know what was wrong with me – I couldn’t figure out why I was afraid to tell him the truth about all of this. I couldn’t even figure out why I had wanted to come here in the first place. I couldn’t figure out anything.

My knees weakened and I fell to the ground before he could see what was happening. Once he saw me on the ground, he knelt as fast as he could to meet me there. The ground was a safer place to be right now. Everything was less shaky from here. My mind was even calming down slightly.

Tristan looked as if he was going to say something, but before he could say the words, my lips found his. The rush of excitement burst through me as he kissed me back. It was all so confusing, but it was more than anything I could imagine. I never understood why people loved to kiss their special ones, until now. Excitement, happiness, and energy rushed through my body and it was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something I’d longed to feel for so long arose inside me. I felt different, more alive somehow. I couldn’t figure out what had changed inside of me as I kiss him, but something definitely had. My tongue slipped between his lips and he let me. My tongue explored every inch of his mouth and his wrested with mine. My arms wrapped around his waist and his breathing quickened slightly. His hands found their way to my hair and began running through it. I never imagined kissing someone would feel like this.

A rapid knock on the door startled me away from Tristan and left us both looking dazed on the floor. I could still feel the touch of his lips linger against mine and I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I had done it. Tristan invited his mom in and I adjusted myself in hopes that I didn’t look so obvious. She opened the door, carrying in a tray with two bags of chips, six chocolate chip cookies, and two cups filled with a dark liquid that resembled the color of coffee, but I didn’t think it was coffee, because most people drink their coffee hot.

“I thought you boys might need something to eat so I brought up some stuff.” She said as she set the tray down on top of Tristan’s desk, covering some of the scattered papers.

“Thanks, Mom.” He said.

Before leaving, she gave him a look that I didn’t particularly understand, but it was one similar to Allyson’s whenever she knew something that I was trying to keep from her. She closed the door, leaving Tristan and I alone once more.

I smiled nervously and spoke softly, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” Tristan’s lips crashed into mine and my mind couldn’t seem to believe it.

The second time was just as good as the first time, except even better because he kissed me first. I couldn’t believe it. He kissed me first. His lips felt amazing against mine. How could it be that this one human boy is the one my heart is attracted to? The room danced around me while everything else faded away. No one could distract me the way Tristan seemed to. Somehow, he made all my problems dissolve with just one kiss, like nothing else mattered in the world. Right now, it was just him and I. Once the kiss was broken he was in a heavy pant and seemed to expect me to be the same way, until he remembered what I was. It wasn’t until then that reality smacked me in the face.

“Tristan, there is something I really need to tell you.” My mouth began running before I could close it. I told him everything from falling in love with him so easily to everything with Reziv and all that was happening. I even went as far as admitting I was afraid. The silence I wasn’t expecting. He seemed sincerely sad and afraid for me and tried desperately to think of the right thing to say.

“Do you have to go?” He finally found something to ask, even though he knew the answer.

“Yes, Tristan, I have to.” I handed him the one-sentence letter from my bag “Reziv is blackmailing me.”

I pulled his body into mine, because somehow, I could feel that we both needed the comfort. Just more evidence to point to the unexplainable attraction. He was sad enough that he felt small and fragile in my arms. I didn’t think someone slightly bigger than me could feel like that, but he was just that kind of sad. I kissed the nape of his neck and wrapped my arms tightly around him while we both sat in silence. I could feel his sadness linger against my body. It flooded around me, dancing against my skin.

“When do you have to leave?” I dreaded the question, and wished I had an answer to it.

“I honestly don’t know.” I spoke softly against his skin. “It could be tonight or even very soon. I just don’t know.”

“This isn’t fair.” He couldn’t possibly understand how true those three words were to me. Nothing is fair about what the Kalibary clan do. What they allow their members to do. Nothing is fair about what they’ve done to my family, or to me. Nothing is fair about what happened to Jessika. She was the victim, not the human man she was with. She was the victim to the Sevoca clan and their cruel laws. You cannot help who your heart falls for. Is that reason enough to tear someone apart, limb by limb?

I heard Tristan grunt and felt him wince. I removed my hands from his wrists and saw fresh red marks on them. I couldn’t believe I had hurt him like that. I kissed the wounds and apologized for them, but he seemed more worried about me than himself.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “I just hurt you, but it doesn’t bother you.”

“I don’t understand it either.”

I looked at him and he forced a small smile to assure me that he was alright. I wanted to smile back at him, but couldn’t find the strength to do that particular thing. I had just hurt him, because the memories of what happened to Jessika affected me so much to distract me from everything.

I looked into his deep green eyes, they showed pain, anger, tiredness, and confusion. I wanted to hold him forever and tell him it’ll be alright, but I had to leave. I had to go home and prepare myself for the second arrival of Reziv. I had to say my goodbyes to Adrina, Jamien, and Lillian.

“Tristan, I’m sorry, but I must go.” I said, barely over a whisper.

“When can you come back?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I will talk to you every chance I get. They are going to strengthen me, so maybe we can communicate telepathically.” I explained.

His face and muscles relaxed. “I hope so.”

I stood first, and then helped him to his feet. He was calmer now. I could see it in those deep green eyes of his and could feel it when he wrapped his arms around me. My lips found his again, and the same rush of energy flowed through the kiss that it had the two other times. I didn’t want to leave him, at all. I wanted to be with him forever and kiss him as much as I wanted. He made me feel less monstrous, more human. He made me feel as I’d longed to feel for so long. I didn’t want to give that up for something to make me more like a monster and even less human. What if after this, I lose whatever little bit of human I have left in me? What if I become a real monster of the darkness? I didn’t think I’d like the answer to those questions, but I thought they clouded my mind as we kissed. My mind ran circles around thoughts of him, and being human to thoughts of Reziv and joining the war.

He broke the kiss to catch the breath I’d momentarily forgotten he needed. Even through all the pain and anger he felt, he still looked dazed. I loved that small effect on him. He reached for the door, but never quite made it there. He looked up at me.

“So does this mean that we’re together?” The question startled me. Why hadn’t I thought about that?

I wanted to say yes because I knew that I loved him and I would do anything for him that I could. I didn’t want to say yes because I knew I’d be leaving soon, but I didn’t know for how long. I also wanted to say yes, because I’d feel guilty for just kissing him and then leaving. I was trapped in a hole and I didn’t know what to choose to help me climb my way out.

“Tristan,” I started and couldn’t keep the uncertainty out of my voice. “I don’t know if us being together would be a good idea.”

Sadness rushed through his eyes faster than he could blink. Normal people wouldn’t have noticed, but I did and I hated it. He reached for the door and didn’t stop this time. Some of the sadness faded into a fake happiness that I’ve seen some humans try and play off. They aren’t very good at it, but other humans don’t seem to notice the real emotions behind the fake ones. Vampires are better at playing pretend.

I started to play along too once I saw his mother watching TV on their sofa resting on the wall facing us. She looked up from the Television and smiled up at us with a smile that made its way to her sparkling tired eyes. I returned the smile and I was pretty sure Tristan did too.

“What are you two up to?” She asked.

“Aiden has to leave.” Tristan said, showing slight sadness, but still faking happiness.

“It was nice meeting you Aiden,” she said as I made it to the bottom of the staircase.

“The pleasure was mine, ma’am.” I gave her a small, pleasant smile.

Tristan headed for the door and I trailed behind him, almost touching the heels of his feet. His movements were forced and slower than normal. I closed the door as I stepped out into the bright sunlight. My eyes had their own mind, searching over the back of his body and I marveled at his beauty. He was gorgeous, every inch of him and I couldn’t help but stare. He turned his body, which helped me break my eyes away.

The solemn look returned to his eyes and my non-beating heart felt like it would explode. I didn’t want to see him so upset. His tender lips met mine and kissed him gently back. Energy flared through them again, but I knew it wouldn’t make him anymore happy. Could he even feel he energy I felt?

“I’ll miss you,” he spoke against my lips, which set something off deep in my stomach like nothing I’d ever felt.

“I’ll miss you, too, Tristan.” It was as true as I wish it wouldn’t be. I would miss him, a lot. A stranger I barely know is the person I’ve fallen in love with and I’ll miss him so very much.

Our kiss became more urgent, filled with more passion and I could feel his breathing quicken. I would be leaving soon and I hoped this wasn’t the last time I’d be able to kiss him wonderful lips or see his beautiful face. I broke the kiss this time, to let him catch his breath and so I could remind him of what I’d said earlier.

“I was serious, you know,” his eyes met my gaze, “when I said that I would try to communicate with you through my advances in telepathy.”

A smile curved at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll be waiting to hear your voice.”

“I’m afraid I must say goodbye now,” I said.

He nodded, and said, “I know. Goodbye Aiden.”

I kissed him one last time, and then darted in the direction of my home. I didn’t want to dart away from him, for it probably looked as though I wanted to be away from him. It wasn’t true though. Being away from him was the last thing I’d wanted to do. I wanted to be with him more than anything. I wanted to stay with him, to protect him, be with him and most of all to love him. I wanted to be loved and feel it, but there was no time for that now.