A Fatal Attraction - Comments

The detail is amazing and there weren't any major grammar errors. I like how the paragraphs aren't extrememly long either (That is a big deal to me XD)

I do wish the chapters weren't so long, but it's your story, you write what you want and i think the plot is very intriguing, leaving me wondering about where the girl and her mom stand.

Good job, darlin' :)

So, I really love your style of writing, I like how long your chapters are, although it's taking me quite some time just to finish one. I do have to say your layout is hard to read, it's the white on black, it hurts a lot after a few seconds. I'd suggest a small layout change.

Chapter One: I absolutely love how confusing this is, it's breathtaking. I'm over here reading as fast as I possibly can just to get to the next part. There are so many questions I want answered. Mainly, what the heck is going on?

So I get that they're vampires. Is he the only one who can read minds? This along with a few other things could use some explaining. There are a few grammatical errors that could use some looking at but other than that this was a really great first chapter. Some advice is to split it into either two chapters or three, because on Mibba people fear long chapters. I know, that sounds bad but we do.

Gaah I've started to read it (on chapter 4) but damn is this good!!! I love it!

i lke this layout :)
she thought to her, and she understood?
that's a very interesting concept for sure
whoa, they're vampires? wasn't seeing that!
well at least they're nice, they're helping the guy
so, is the main character a girl or boy?
the painting sounds pretty then ;)
wait, who's coming back? they're parents or something?
oh no, anotehr clan that's all, okay got it
I relaly like this so far :) it's good, you are a good writer!

Oooh! This is good so far! :) good job!

Hehe! I doubled your number of comments! Oh yeah!!! *little victory dance!*

LOL we have the same story title!!!