Two for One

It has been about three weeks since we did the interview and in less then six days, everyone in the United States knew that I had two fathers and is the mother of my baby brother. The only thing that everyone doesn't know about is that Jacob is the son of Jimmy, and that I am greatfull for. I don't want them bombarding me with dumbass questions that I will never answer. Right now, I am currently in the home Jimmy left for the guys and I. I was sitting in the living room, well, laying on the living room floor, Jacob sitting on my stomach and Demitro laying right beside me.

"You're getting big now," I cooed at Jacob as I ticked his little belly.

Jacob giggled and flailed his arms around as he bounced on my stomach.

"Just like your damn father," I grunted out and jumped a bit, looking over at Demitro, who was laughing his ass off," Yeah, go right on laughing. I'm not cooking for you."

That got him to stop. Demitro looked over at me before looking at Jacob and looking back at me. Leaning up, Demitro took Jacob from me and sat him on his stomach.

"We need her to cook for us!" Demitro said to Jacob.

Jacob looked at him before going onto his little baby babble. I laughed and shook my head before looking around the room. In the left corner was a play-pin and toys all around. A little place for Lilee and Jacob to play. Everyone was out. Barbara and Lucas are out on a date. So are Papa Syn with Cali, and Papa Bam and Kasey. Zacky, Matt and Johnny were out with their wives/girlfriends. So it's just Demitro, Jacob and I. Looking over at the mantil, I smiled a bit as my eyes landed on the picture of Jimmy and the gang and I. Next to it was a picture of Jacob in my arms when he was born. It has been a while since I've last seen Jimmy and my baby girl, but I know that they are still their. Looking back at Jacob and Demitro, I smiled when I saw that Jacob was now laying on his stomach onto of Demitro, who was rubbing his back and singing lowly to him.

"I'm going to head down to the studio to write some music," I told Demitro as I raised to my knees.

Demitro looked over at me and smiled,"I'll be down after I placed Jacob down for his nap."

I smiled and nodded my head before leaning in and kissing him on his lips before getting up and headed down to the studio. Grabbing one of the guitars and a note book and pen before taking a seat in front of the mix table. Before long, I was in my own zone and writing down a song that I have been keeping in.

'I'm not strong enough to stay away.
Can't run from you
I just run back to you.
Like a moth I'm drawn in to your flame,
Say my name, but it's not the same.
You look in my eyes I'm stripped of my pride.
And my soul surrenders and you bring my heart to its knees.

[Chorus:]
And it's killin' me when you're away, I wanna leave and I wanna stay.
I'm so confused,So hard to choose.
Between the pleasure and the pain.
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind.
And I'm not strong enough to stay away

I'm not strong enough to stay away
What can I do
I would die without you
In your presence my heart knows no shame
I'm not to blame
Cause you bring my heart to its knees

[Chorus]

There's nothing I can do
My heart is chained to you
And I can't get free
Look what this love's done to me

[Chorus]

I'm not strong enough, strong enough
I'm not strong enough, strong enough
I'm not strong enough to stay away
I'm not strong enough, strong enough
I'm not strong enough, strong enough
I'm not strong enough to stay away'

As I pulled the last cord of the guitar, I heard some clapping coming from behind me. Jumping a bit, I looked over my shoulder and saw that Demitro was leaning against the door frame, smiling at me. I smiled back and watched as he pushed away from the door frame and came over to me.

"That was a fucking great son, baby," Demitro said with a smile as he brought me to a kiss.

I kisses him back before looking at him in the eyes,"Thanks. I think it was about time to get this song out."

Dermitro laughed a bit and nodded his head.

"Wait," he said, looking over at me," What about that one song, well those two songs. Um... 'Call Me When Your Sober and Bring Me To Life'?"

"Hmm," I said as I flipped to a fresh new page,"Want to play while I write the lyrics down?"

"I thought you already had them down," Demitro said as he got up from his seat and got a guitar for himself.

"I did," I called over to him," But remember that I ripped them up?"

"Oh yeah," Demitro said, a frown on his beautiful face.

I nodded my head before getting ready.

'Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself.
Can't keep believing,
We're only deceiving ourselves .
And I'm sick of the lie,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it cause it's over,
It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?
How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind.'

"Better then the last time I heard it," Demitro joked, laughing a bit.

I laughed and flipped him off before getting a new page in front of me and looking over at him. Demitro nodded at me before I went off to the next song.

'How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)"

As soon as the last words left my mouth, I literally fell out of my seat when I heard clapping coming from behind me. Looking over to the door, I rolled my eyes and smiled widely when I saw that my fathers, uncles, aunts at the door, smiling over at me.

"That was fucking kick ass!" Val said as she came into the room and brought me into a hug.

I laughed and hugged her back before looking over at the rest of the group.

"Was that what I think it was?" I heard Barbara call from the back of the group.

"Hell yeah you did!" I called out.

"Yeah buddy!" I heard her call out.

I laughed and shook my head before pushing everyone out of the room and into the living room. Rushing up the stairs, I looked into Jacob room and smiled when I saw that he was still fast asleep. And beside his crib, was his father.

"Hey Jimmy," I whispered as I walked into the room, closing the door behind me and walked to stand next to him.

Jimmy looked over at me and smiled.

"Hey Bazi," he said, leaning over me and kissing my forehead.

I sighed a bit and looked down in his arms to see that m,y little girl looked like a three year old then an newborn.

"She's growing," I sighed as I reached over to her and stroked her cheek.

"She is," Jimmy nodded, agreeing with me.

Jimmy and I stayed in the comfortable silence for a while before saying that he had to go. I looked at him with sad eyes, but nodded my head. After giving me another kiss on my forehead, he disappeared with my little girl and soon, it was just Jacob and I. Looking over at my brother, I smiled and said,"You're going to be just like your daddy."