No Soul

“Daddy!” Emma wailed, reaching for him from Kris’ arms. “Where you going?!” She asked, tears streaking down her face as her cheeks turned bright red. Kris and Brianna were watching the twins for Sidney so he could sneak away to Pittsburgh for a few hours to do two interviews he had. He didn’t imagine that leaving them would be quite this hard. “Don’t leave, Daddy!” She bawled as he returned to the house to set down the hockey bag full of their things like changes of clothes, toys, snacks, books and a few first-aid things.

“Emma, no more crying.” It absolutely broke her heart to see his baby so upset. “I’m going to be gone for a few hours but you’ll be with Kris and Brianna and you’re going to have a lot of fun! See Noah? See him playing with the puppy?” Sidney made the mistake of plucking her from Kris’ arms and he soon figured out that there would be no letting go of her.

“No!” She whined, nose running, tears streaked down her cheeks and her voice thick with sadness. “Daddy don’t leave.” She sobbed, spluttering and locking her little arms around his neck.

“Emma, ma petite, come with me, do you want to bake cookies with Brianna? I know she would love to have you help her.” Kris bribed, rubbing Emma’s back gently. Emma sniffled and nodded but the tears didn’t stop and she certainly wasn’t letting go of Sidney. Kris opened her arms to her and she stared at him critically for a moment before turning back to Sidney and laying against his chest.

“Shh, see? It’s okay.” He bounced her softly as Noah’s giggles could be heard from the family room. “I’m only going to be gone for a little bit, then Daddy will be back and we can go home and play.” Sidney insisted as she huffed and puffed her way down from her little tantrum. “You can play with Uncle Kris. You know what I heard? I heard Uncle Kris is the absolute best at horsey rides.” Sidney said, holding back his grin as he looked over at his teammate who gave him an unamused look.

“It’s true, ma petite, I do.” Kris nodded as Emma eyed him warily.

“He even looks kind of like a horse, huh? Long hair, big nose? Don’t you think he would be a good horsey?” Sidney asked as Emma was finally calm but still just sad.

“Yeah.” She mumbled.

“Can you be good for Kris and Brianna while I’m gone? Can you be a brave, big girl?” Sidney asked, kissing her soft, pudgy cheeks. Emma nodded and finally reached for Kris who happily took her into his arms.

“I miss you Daddy.” She informed, making Sidney’s heart ache in his chest.

“I’ll miss you too, baby girl.” He leaned over and kissed her head once again. “Be a good girl.” He reminded. “No eating the puppy’s food.” He added, making her giggle before turning and heading out the door. Kris took Emma to the bay window in the family room and they stood and waved goodbye to Sidney as he pulled out of the driveway and down the street.

Emma sighed, leaning against Kris’ chest, tired from crying and having to say goodbye to her Daddy.

“Let’s go sit down, huh my princesse?” Kris rubbed a hand up and down her back as he joined Brianna and Noah in the family room. Noah was sitting beside Brianna on the couch, hanging over her huge belly, so Kris opted to take the open recliner. He couldn’t believe that in about a week he’d have his own daughter to take care of. Emma’s small body was warm and soft as she curled into his chest as he threw a fleece blanket over the two of them on the chair. “Sleepy?” He asked as her hand lightly gripped his chest, her soft hair tickling the underside of his chin as she nodded.

“Gonna nap now.” She informed him, making him grin as he cradled her into him, amazing him with how tiny and fragile her body was.

“Your baby’s swimmin’ in here?” Noah asked with his head resting on Brianna’s belly, content with the way she raked her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp that she knew about 99% of the male population enjoyed.

“Yes, she’s going to come home next week, that’s seven days.” She reminded the little boy.

“You gonna name her?” Noah asked as Lisette got up from her bed in front of the fireplace and began to sniff around Noah’s bare toes, making him wiggle when her cold nose would come in contact with his feet.

“Her name is Arianna.” Brianna let him know.

“S’pretty.” He mumbled. “My name is Noah.” He added.

“You have a very handsome name.” Brianna reassured.

“Noah Patrick Irwin.” He added, reminding everyone in the family that he wasn’t a Crosby quite yet, but they all knew it was something Sidney was getting around to. “Baby is heavy?” He asked, patting her stomach lightly, eyes drooping sleepily as Brianna continued to lightly run her nails over his back in a soft scratch on top of his t-shirt.

“The baby is getting nice and big.” Brianna nodded, smiling over at Kris who was looking down at Emma, her eyes fighting to stay open, but finally succumbing to sleep. She couldn’t wait to see him be a father to their baby, and that would be any day now. It wasn’t much longer until Noah was as fast asleep as his sister and Brianna took a simple pleasure in playing with the soft kinks of his dark curls and watching the way his dark, thick lashes laid against his high cheeks.

“Do you think we should tuck them in?” Brianna asked. Kris shifted in the chair and Emma’s arms immediately tightened around him. “Or we can just turn the TV on very quietly.” She laughed softly, the two of them grinning as Emma stuck her thumb in her mouth, making the little girl look even younger. Kris wasn’t complaining, he was having a rather relaxing afternoon and this was an entirely new experience for him. He managed to sneak his cell phone out of his pocket without disturbing the youngest twin and reached it out in front of himself, snapping a few photos of the little girl snuggled into his chest.

While the Letang household may have been relatively quiet when Sidney left, it was an entirely different picture by the time he returned to retrieve his children several hours later.

“Hello?” Sidney called into the house, smiling at the sounds of his two kids laughing and having a good time with their high-pitched giggles. Venturing into the family room, he saw Lisette dead asleep on her bed and continued further into the dining room. The big oak table was covered in a plastic tablecloth and there were paints and papers all over the place. “Hey there.” He smiled, catching Emma’s attention.

“Hi Daddy! We painting!” She giggled, bouncing from her place in Kris’ lap, wiggling her paint-covered fingers at her Father. “Come paint!” She insisted. Sidney took a moment to take in the scene, Emma and Noah were both in one of Kris’ Stanley Cup Final shirts from ’09 (which he had tons of) and while Emma was concentrating on the big sheet of paper before her, Noah was having the time of his life pressing his hands all over Brianna’s belly

“Noah, what ya doin’ bud?” Sidney laughed as Kris snapped tons of photos of Sidney’s little clone who was creating a masterpiece on Brianna’s bare skin.

“Painting the baby!” Noah said excitedly. Sidney shook his head, taking a few photos of his own on his iPhone before he went back to the family room to start wrangling up their toys that had been evenly spread throughout the first floor of the Letang home.

Kris had sprung into action, washing hands and cleaning up paints. It was already ten to six and soon the kids needed to eat and then would be put down to bed.

“Did you have fun today with Brianna and Kris?” Sidney asked as Emma bounced over to him, making him weary of her tripping over her own feet in the big t-shirt.

“Yes! We painted!” She wiggled happily in her Daddy’s arms, kissing his lips in a greeting.

“What else did you do, huh? Play with toys?” Sidney asked, urging her to talk a little more.

“Yes! And cookies!” She added excitedly.

“Cookies, you must have been a very good girl.” Sidney said, impressed as Noah posed next to Brianna’s tummy for a photo as Kris help up his camera. “Good girls get good dinner.” Sidney hinted, making her look up at him excitedly.

“Cheesies?!” She asked, referring to her new favorite meal, which was Sidney’s homemade Mac and Cheese with hamburger. Sidney also liked to cut up mushrooms very finely and add them in with the meat; something his own mother did for him when he was little. Sidney nodded and she let out a big ‘yay!’ in celebration.

“So let’s head home, get changed into our bedtime clothes and I’ll make dinner.” He said, carrying her back into the dining room.

“Go home? Wanna stay! Wanna play! Uncle Kris!” She frowned.

“Emma we can come over and see Uncle Kris and Auntie Brianna any time, but they have to eat dinner and go to bed soon, too, for the baby.” Sidney reminded, her little lips still pursed out in a pout.

“Wanna stay.” She repeated sadly, making Sidney frown.

“You don’t want to come home with Noah and Daddy? Not even for cheesies and ice cream?” Sidney asked.

“Ice cream?” She tilted her head, tracing the NHL logo just under the collar of his t-shirt.

“Yes, if you can be a good girl and give kisses goodbye, we’ll go home and have dinner and ice cream before bed.” Sidney nodded, kissing her lips again softly. Emma nodded before wriggling down from his arms and running over to Kris with her arms stretched up towards him.

“I come play?” Emma asked, looking rather concerned as Kris held her in a tight hug.

“Of course, come over whenever.” Kris reassured. “We can paint and eat cookies.” He grinned as she smiled happily. Soon, Brianna was parting with Noah who promised to come over to see the baby as soon as she was born.

“Did you like playing at Kris and Brianna’s?” Sidney asked as he drove the ten minute ride back to their home in Sewickley.

“I love Uncle Kris and Aunnie’ Brianna!” Noah cheered from his booster seat, making Sidney laugh. Soon they were back home, both twins changed into their favorite pajamas and watching Wonderpets and Go Diego Go, which Noah liked to call the “Eggo Show”. When Sidney had finished dinner, he decided to forego setting up the dining room for dinner and brought their bowls and sippy-cups of juice out to the family room as long as they promised to try very hard not to spill.

“I sit with Daddy.” Emma smiled happily, crawling into Sidney’s lap as a new episode of Bear in the Big, Blue House started. Sidney balanced his bowl and Emma’s bowl very carefully while keeping an eye on Noah who was scarfing his dinner down as quickly as possible.

“Yummy!” Noah exclaimed happily, using his fork to shovel the food into his mouth.

“Yeah, Daddy’s becoming quite the chef.” Sidney spoke mostly to himself. It was then that he realized that even with all of the time he spent with his children, there was a lot of the time that he felt alone. He had no one to carry a conversation with, or just talk with to unwind at the end of the day. Who was he supposed to call? His father? His mother? Did she even know about Noah and Emma? Did Troy tell her? Surely if he did, she would have been down in Pittsburgh by now, right?

He couldn’t deny that having a little time with mostly adults today was pretty nice, even if he missed his twins so much it hurt while they were apart. But Brianna and Kris couldn’t take Emma and Noah every time he had plans for work. He was going to have to ask around his friends and teammates to watch them when he had other engagements.

It wasn’t like he needed a Nanny, he just needed a baby sitter or two.

A Nanny was for people who couldn’t handle being a parent.

Sidney could handle being a parent – and he was damn good at it.