Watching Through My Window

We drove around town for a while trying to decide what to do.

“Why don’t we visit Nate first? Sounds like the simplest way to get things started. Besides, I want to talk to him today, I might not have a chance later on,” Victoria said leaning up against the window.

“Sounds good, I’m always up for talking to Nat for a bit.”

“Good.” We made our way through town towards the old cemetery that Nat was buried in. I pulled up towards Nat’s row in the back. Victoria jumped out of the car quickly and ran over to Nat. I walked over, not quite so quickly, I wanted to give Vic some time along with Nat so that she would tell him what she wanted. After a few minutes I walked over joining them.

“Hey Nat; we’re skipping today in case you haven’t realized. Do you know of anything interesting going on today that we can go to,” I asked sitting down next to Vic. “It’s okay if you don’t, we just really need something to do.”

"It's not that we don't enjoy being with you Nate, because we really do. We just don't wanna get caught and they'll look here for us first. We're your best friends, of course this is where they'll look first." The wind softly blew as Victoria spoke. It calmed me, by best friend was near.

"Nat, I still miss you," I sighed looking up at the clear sky. "Vick, do you think we could have some kind of picnic around her tomorrow maybe?"

"That sounds great. I'm up for it. Nate we'll be here tomorrow afternoon for a picnic, got it?" I smiled at the sweet girl. "We have to go to school tomorrow though. James needs to check and see how his rep's doing. You've probably heard by now that he practically killed it."

"I did not. I'm still in the group. I'm still the head of the soccer team, I've still got my popular friends, and now I have an advantage, I get to score with tons of girls at parties."

"Jackass," Victoria screamed before storming off. It was all of a sudden and I have no idea what I did. I just sat there while she ran through the tomb stones, looking as beautiful as ever even in her current unpleasant state.

"What did I do?" The wind blew up around me, leaves hitting me in the face. "I'm sorry Nat, but I don't know what I did. I don't think it's right for me to chase after her if I don't know what's wrong. That will make an even bigger mess." I looked up to the sky trying to figure out what I did wrong. "What was the last thing I said?" '-and now I have an advantage, I get to score with tons of girls...' "Fuck! Fucking hell! She's not one of those bloody popular guys. All they care about is scoring, goddamn it!" I just sat there staring at the ground.

"Chase after her loser," the wind whispered in my ear.

"Thanks Nat," I said before getting up and running for Vic. I found her sitting at another tomb stone, just about in tears. "Victoria." She didn't look at me or show any acknowledgment that I was even there. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it. I just say those things to fit in. I didn't realize what I was saying. I'm sorry."

"It still doesn't change the fact that you do that. It doesn't change what you said, it doesn't change the reason you do it. Hardly changes anything, actually."

"Does it make you any less mad at me?"

"Yeah, now I'm only slightly upset. Why do you sleep with girls just to be popular? Is it even worth it?"

I sighed in embarrassment. I wasn't comfortable with this topic, or what I was about to say. "Actually, I've never slept with a girl, or done anything sexual with anyone," I said blushing a deep crimson.

"So you lie to them all?"

"Basically."

"Why?"

"I need to be accepted somewhere. I'm not like you, I can't stick out and have people make fun of me. My life's not perfect, but I need to pretend it is, or else I won't survive. Do you understand?"

"I suppose."

"So who are you talking to now?"

"My little sister, she died the same year as Nate. She was only six though, and she died of cancer. She went through so much pain in a simple six years. I'm so proud of her, but I miss her dearly," Victoria said running her hands over the stone. "Nicky, she was going to be a dangerously beautiful girl."

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need for it. It was her time, though if I could I would trade places with her in an instant."

"That's the same way I feel with Nat."

"It's hard."

"I know, but I'm here for you. Whenever."

"Thanks."