Holly, Would You Turn Me
Admissions
She knew me and that’s why I loved living with her, she knew when I need someone and when I needed my own space and right now I needed the latter, space to think things over before I made my plans.
I looked at the clock to see it was 3am and headed upstairs and past Holly’s room to see a Holly shaped lump in the middle of the bed under the blankets and I smiled walking in.
I stood looking and I saw her hand appear from underneath the blanket and I smiled as I stripped down to my boxers before grabbing her hand and crawling in to see her curled in a ball.
She was like an animal who burrowed away from the world when it got too much and hid when she wasn’t feeling too good.
Rubbed my eyes as they adjusted to the darkness under the blankets and my cheek hurt under my touch and I was reminded of Jacks slap.
“How’d you know I was there?” I asked.
“I heard you walk well I think the words fall up the stairs, plus I can smell you,” she said quietly and I smiled.
“Am I that bad?” I asked and she laughed.
“You smell like a bar, I’m in danger of getting drunk just off your breath, she joked and I laughed.
“Did he hurt you?” she asked and I looked at her before answering.
“Not really, I replied.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Why?” I asked confused.
“I let him do it, I saw him go upstairs and I heard you shouting and I never stopped you both. I wanted to but I don’t know, it was like I couldn’t. I was scared,” she admitted and pulled her into a hug.
“It’s okay Holz, he never means it. Don’t be scared,” I said and she stayed quiet so I pulled her to look at me.
“You have nothing to be scared of okay? I’ll always look after you and Zack wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” I reassured and she nodded.
“You never said bye to Zack,” I stated and she nodded.
“Why?” I asked curious and I remembered her unwillingness to talk to her mother about him.
“He’s not talking to me,” she said and I rolled my eyes
Zack was a great guy but sometimes he got into one of these moods where everything annoyed him and he’d fall out with everyone before coming back round to normal and admitting he’d been a dick.
“It’s his time of the month is it?” I joked and she laughed.
“Yeah something like that, he tells me he wants to hit Jack for what he did and then he acts like nothings wrong when Jack’s around and is like his best friend and I just wish he’d make his mind up. If he’s mad with Jack then he shouldn’t pretend nothings wrong when he’s around him and if he’s not mad with him then don’t bitch behind his back to me. Either way I don’t mind but I just hate the way he’s being,” she admitted and I nodded.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to rock the boat,” I suggested and she shrugged and I knew there as always more to Zack than met the eye.
He was the quiet one and it’s true what people say ‘it’s the quiet ones you need to watch’. He could be very reserved but he could also be jerk to people.
“Why were you scared?” I asked dragging us back to an earlier remark.
“In case he hit me again, I’ve known Jack years and I thought we were best friends but he hit me,” she stated and I kept quiet.
“I’ve seen you after he’s hit you but I never realized he hit that hard! It hurt and I just don’t want him to do it again so I avoid being near him in case it happens and you were shouting and I thought he’d do it again if I came in,” she admitted.
“He does give out quite a slap,” I replied.
“Alex you know he shouldn’t hit you,” she started and I nodded.
“And you know it’s not abuse at all, I do the same back. It’s never gone too far and we never do it like that. Neither of us ever begged the other to stop and nobody’s ever been seriously hurt,” I reasoned.
“You didn’t sound like you wanted it tonight,” she said and I nodded.
“We were both drunk, you know what we’re like, anyway there’s know ‘us’ anymore. Holly I don’t want you feeling like you need to get involved okay, these are my battles and you fight enough of them for me already, these ones I can take on my own plus he’ll not hurt you ever again because I’ll personally make sure of it,” I said and she crawled to the top of the bed and I pulled the blankets back.
She laid down with her head on the pillow facing away from me before bringing her knees to her chest like a baby, I couldn’t be bothered to move and I doubted my legs would carry me far in this state anyway so I wriggled up to lie next to her before pulling the blankets back over us and I wrapped my arm round her waist before giving up trying to stay awake and fell asleep.
I looked at the clock to see it was 3am and headed upstairs and past Holly’s room to see a Holly shaped lump in the middle of the bed under the blankets and I smiled walking in.
I stood looking and I saw her hand appear from underneath the blanket and I smiled as I stripped down to my boxers before grabbing her hand and crawling in to see her curled in a ball.
She was like an animal who burrowed away from the world when it got too much and hid when she wasn’t feeling too good.
Rubbed my eyes as they adjusted to the darkness under the blankets and my cheek hurt under my touch and I was reminded of Jacks slap.
“How’d you know I was there?” I asked.
“I heard you walk well I think the words fall up the stairs, plus I can smell you,” she said quietly and I smiled.
“Am I that bad?” I asked and she laughed.
“You smell like a bar, I’m in danger of getting drunk just off your breath, she joked and I laughed.
“Did he hurt you?” she asked and I looked at her before answering.
“Not really, I replied.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Why?” I asked confused.
“I let him do it, I saw him go upstairs and I heard you shouting and I never stopped you both. I wanted to but I don’t know, it was like I couldn’t. I was scared,” she admitted and pulled her into a hug.
“It’s okay Holz, he never means it. Don’t be scared,” I said and she stayed quiet so I pulled her to look at me.
“You have nothing to be scared of okay? I’ll always look after you and Zack wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” I reassured and she nodded.
“You never said bye to Zack,” I stated and she nodded.
“Why?” I asked curious and I remembered her unwillingness to talk to her mother about him.
“He’s not talking to me,” she said and I rolled my eyes
Zack was a great guy but sometimes he got into one of these moods where everything annoyed him and he’d fall out with everyone before coming back round to normal and admitting he’d been a dick.
“It’s his time of the month is it?” I joked and she laughed.
“Yeah something like that, he tells me he wants to hit Jack for what he did and then he acts like nothings wrong when Jack’s around and is like his best friend and I just wish he’d make his mind up. If he’s mad with Jack then he shouldn’t pretend nothings wrong when he’s around him and if he’s not mad with him then don’t bitch behind his back to me. Either way I don’t mind but I just hate the way he’s being,” she admitted and I nodded.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to rock the boat,” I suggested and she shrugged and I knew there as always more to Zack than met the eye.
He was the quiet one and it’s true what people say ‘it’s the quiet ones you need to watch’. He could be very reserved but he could also be jerk to people.
“Why were you scared?” I asked dragging us back to an earlier remark.
“In case he hit me again, I’ve known Jack years and I thought we were best friends but he hit me,” she stated and I kept quiet.
“I’ve seen you after he’s hit you but I never realized he hit that hard! It hurt and I just don’t want him to do it again so I avoid being near him in case it happens and you were shouting and I thought he’d do it again if I came in,” she admitted.
“He does give out quite a slap,” I replied.
“Alex you know he shouldn’t hit you,” she started and I nodded.
“And you know it’s not abuse at all, I do the same back. It’s never gone too far and we never do it like that. Neither of us ever begged the other to stop and nobody’s ever been seriously hurt,” I reasoned.
“You didn’t sound like you wanted it tonight,” she said and I nodded.
“We were both drunk, you know what we’re like, anyway there’s know ‘us’ anymore. Holly I don’t want you feeling like you need to get involved okay, these are my battles and you fight enough of them for me already, these ones I can take on my own plus he’ll not hurt you ever again because I’ll personally make sure of it,” I said and she crawled to the top of the bed and I pulled the blankets back.
She laid down with her head on the pillow facing away from me before bringing her knees to her chest like a baby, I couldn’t be bothered to move and I doubted my legs would carry me far in this state anyway so I wriggled up to lie next to her before pulling the blankets back over us and I wrapped my arm round her waist before giving up trying to stay awake and fell asleep.