Spinning Insanity

Fuck.

I burned.

I said I wasn't going to but I I needed to.

3 marks all on my left fore arm.

I'm so scared.

I really want help.

But I can't deal with people I know looking at me like that. That look of pity.

They'll say theyre sorry's and move on.

But the way they look at me wo t ever be the same.

That's part of the reason I want to go to England.

I could finally get help.

Right now my only help is MCR.

When I cut or burn I go into this numb trance.

If I didn't do that I could turn on my iPod and stop.

But I can't.

MCR always calms me down though.

Once I realize what I'm doing I turn them on and cry.

I'm so fucking scared....

My cousin almost found out I was suicidal.

I promise I won't kill myself. I know I won't.

The future could be great.

I've been getting really dizzy a lot lately.

I don't think that's good.

It also hurts my stomach to eat and drink.

Not a lot, just enough to notice the pain.

I get this jolt of dizziness and I've got that before but it never happened this often or lasted past 10 seconds.

I went a whole minute felling dizzy in 10th period today. I felt Mildly dizzy for a while after that.

I'm kinda dizzy now.

I'm so fucking scared...