The Wintergrass Family

Walter's Point of View

I reached my sedan, Roxy, and crawled through the open window. My head hit the steering wheel and honked my adorable horn. A rather muscular young man that was
strolling in front of the car hollered some curses at me. With all of my crowned teeth, I grinned a delightful grin at him and puckered my lips. He looked confused at me
so I waved a fist while I continued my smiling. Butterflies flew out of me as he jogged away from my vehicle. Nothing brought me as much joy as making new friends. And Borus, over course.

After putting my "betty boop" key in the little slot and turning it to a roaring ingnition, I pulled down the mirror. Smoking delicious as always. Once my Rihanna CD was blasting,
I could go. It was happy hour at Bob Evans! Around and around the lanes of parking spaces. Swurving around pedestrians in my way, waving with all my energy at each person.
Almost out, I noticed a unique looking gentleman chasing my automobile. Maybe he wanted to be friends! Borus would love that! He could join us for my supper!

Coming to a hault, the soon to be best-buddy sped up to me. His strong fists blew punches at my window. Ooh he was fiesty. Rolling down my window, he started his plead.

"Sir, you gotta help me! This crazy old lady! She's gonna kill me! Please help! Oh wait no! Please...no...no no no....help!!" He screamed in terror as Mammy pulled him off the car and to the pavement. Stepping out of my transportation, I look down at her as she put my buddy into a headlock.

"Whatcha' doin' Mama?" I remarked with a wide smile. They were already hitting it off! Tumbling around just like siblings. We were going to associate quite well with eachother.

"THIS," she notioned to the lovely chap of a man. "IS ONE OF THOSE SUPERIOR NAZIS I WAS TALKING ABOUT. THIS ONE CROSSED THE LINE. HE WATCHED ME WATERING THE DAMN KNOMES THIS MORNING! HE'S THE ONE PUTTIN' BREAD CRUMBS IN THE CREAM CHEESE. THIS IS THE ONE THAT EATS OUR TOILET TISSUE." Mama shouted to me and the rest of the world.

"Oh, but Mama..." I started.

"I DON'T KNOW YOU! I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THAT! PLEASE LET ME GO! YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY! YOU'RE CRAZY!" He shouted at my Mammy with restricted air from her strong head lock Squirming, he let out a girly shriek and tried to loosen Ma's grip.

"Now Mama, This good sir is our new buddy! We are all gonna' be best friends for all enternity if you just let him go. See, I don't even think he is wearing the apropriate Nazi general uniform, see?" I said while pointing my boney finger at his ruined white t-shirt.

"Oh, Walter! I hadn't even though about that! His attire is far to casual for a Nazi of a fine class. This can't be the one." Mammy brought her self to her feet an brushed off her purple "hot pants". Our best new friend quickly lifted himself up and ran away from us like we were some kind of rabid bunny or something.

"So we'll be seeing you for supper?!" I shouted to him as he limped away. Swiftly he shifted back to us, recited a few profanities that Mama forbid me to use, and yelped that we
were crazy.

Supper is gonna' be mighty fun with him around.