Status: completed
I Have Only Myself to Give, Nothing More
Vierzehn
“So.”
“What?”
“Christmas is coming up.”
“So what?”
“Let’s have a party.”
“Like hell we will.”
This is the conversation that greets me at lunch the next day.
“Aw, come on, Bilvy, it’ll be fun!” Pete whines, giving William what I’m sure he believes is his most winning face.
“There’s no way we’ll be able to pull it off,” William replies in a bored tone, and I hear Brendon smother a giggle. “Besides, it wouldn’t be really fun if we’re the only people there.”
Pete grins widely. “I’m sure Vicky would be more than happy to come and bring along some of her honeys,” he drawls.
“Who’s Vicky?” I ask.
“Oh, she doesn’t go to our school,” Patrick says quickly, and I was suddenly suspicious.
“What … how do you guys know her?” I ask, looking at Patrick, Pete, William, and Brendon in turn, taking in their flushed faces and awkward eyes.
William clears his throat. “She and Gabe are … friends …” he says. “They, uh, met at a party last year.”
And I realize right away what he’s really saying—
She and Gabe are fuck-buddies.
“Oh.” The word slips through my lips and I sit there silently, trying to process what I’ve just heard. Oh god.
Staring down at my clenched hands, I am sure that the others are exchanged concerned glances around me. “Do you think—?” William begins tentatively, but Patrick cuts him off with a—
“No. Let him be.”
Are my frivolous feelings really so obvious to them?
“I, uh, I’m fine,” I whisper in a cracked voice.
“Uh-huh,” Pete mutters, disbelief coursing through his voice.
“No really, I am,” I insist with surprising venom, a sudden fire pulsing through my veins. “It’s not up to you to decide my feelings for me, Pete. So shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” Spitting with fury, I get to my feet and stalk stifling from the room. Leave me the fuck alone.
“You …” I hear Brendon say in shock as I leave. “You bully!”
“What?” Pete gapes and I hear Brendon’s footsteps clattering after me.
Of course he’s coming after me. We’re best friends. That’s what we do.
“Wait up, Ry.”
I stop and turn slowly around to face him, wondering what sort of comforting words he has for me.
“You know Gabe’s not the only one with a fuck-buddy.”
“What?”
“Christmas is coming up.”
“So what?”
“Let’s have a party.”
“Like hell we will.”
This is the conversation that greets me at lunch the next day.
“Aw, come on, Bilvy, it’ll be fun!” Pete whines, giving William what I’m sure he believes is his most winning face.
“There’s no way we’ll be able to pull it off,” William replies in a bored tone, and I hear Brendon smother a giggle. “Besides, it wouldn’t be really fun if we’re the only people there.”
Pete grins widely. “I’m sure Vicky would be more than happy to come and bring along some of her honeys,” he drawls.
“Who’s Vicky?” I ask.
“Oh, she doesn’t go to our school,” Patrick says quickly, and I was suddenly suspicious.
“What … how do you guys know her?” I ask, looking at Patrick, Pete, William, and Brendon in turn, taking in their flushed faces and awkward eyes.
William clears his throat. “She and Gabe are … friends …” he says. “They, uh, met at a party last year.”
And I realize right away what he’s really saying—
She and Gabe are fuck-buddies.
“Oh.” The word slips through my lips and I sit there silently, trying to process what I’ve just heard. Oh god.
Staring down at my clenched hands, I am sure that the others are exchanged concerned glances around me. “Do you think—?” William begins tentatively, but Patrick cuts him off with a—
“No. Let him be.”
Are my frivolous feelings really so obvious to them?
“I, uh, I’m fine,” I whisper in a cracked voice.
“Uh-huh,” Pete mutters, disbelief coursing through his voice.
“No really, I am,” I insist with surprising venom, a sudden fire pulsing through my veins. “It’s not up to you to decide my feelings for me, Pete. So shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” Spitting with fury, I get to my feet and stalk stifling from the room. Leave me the fuck alone.
“You …” I hear Brendon say in shock as I leave. “You bully!”
“What?” Pete gapes and I hear Brendon’s footsteps clattering after me.
Of course he’s coming after me. We’re best friends. That’s what we do.
“Wait up, Ry.”
I stop and turn slowly around to face him, wondering what sort of comforting words he has for me.
“You know Gabe’s not the only one with a fuck-buddy.”
♠ ♠ ♠
This was not where I originally intended the chapter to end. But hey, I think it works better this way.