Endlessly

~~~ Hazelyn POV ~~~

“Why?” Luke asked carefully.

“Nothing, Nevermind,” I mumbled, knowing that he’d tell my brother. I checked my phone and called a number that I knew by heart.

“Mt. Rose at Tahoe, Tyra here,” the voice said.

“Hey Ty, it’s Hazelyn,” I said

“OH Hazelyn! How are you?!”

“I’m good, yourself?” I smiled at her enthusiasm.

“Awesome,” she replied. I could hear the smile through her voice. “What service can I provide for you today, Ms. Hazelyn,” she chuckled.

I laughed. “I was just wondering, how’s the snow? I haven’t been keeping up with the weather lately.”

“Oh! It’s terrific. We just got another 8 inches this morning,” she told me.

“Really? Are the parks open?” I asked.

“Yup. Even the pipe, since Mr. Aguirre is training,” she said.

I frowned. “I thought he was in Vermont?” I asked.

“He is, but we don’t know when they’re coming back, so just in case, we keep it maintained.”

“Oh awesome. You think I can swing by?”

“Psh. No problem. I’ll set up the cottage for you. I’ll get it in perfect condition by tomorrow morning,” she told me. “Well, at least your room. The kitchen and the living room, maybe the bathroom, because I don’t know anyone that would go into the boys’ rooms,” she chuckled.

“Thanks!” I grinned and we both said our goodbyes before I hung up to pack, and she had to go back to work. She was working the lifts for the afternoon.



I was laying on my bed listening to my music, trying to sleep early so I could leave before 3 in the morning tomorrow. From midnight to 3 o’clock is Ryan’s “deep sleep” time, and it would be almost impossible to wake him up.

There was a knock on my door and I ignored it, dragging my finger over my ipod’s screen to turn off the volume and I closed my eyes. Maybe Ryan would leave me alone if he thinks I’m sleeping? It was worth a try.

I heard the door open, and close. The footsteps. “Hazelyn, I know you’re awake. You need to eat,” he sighed. I didn’t budge. “I got you your favorite crab sandwich and some bubble tea,” he tried.

I popped an eye open, and he had a grin on his face. I sighed and sat up. “Give it,” I said sitting on my bed, criss-crossed. He then sat in front of me, and laid the food on the bed. He handed me my large milk tea with tapioca and egg pudding, while he had watermelon slushie with tapioca. He then laid the crab sandwich container in front of me.

I looked up at him, and he smiled lightly at me. I smiled back a little. His grin grew wider. “Go on, eat,” he encouraged.

“I can’t eat with you staring at me like that!” I pouted.

“You’re so adorable,” he chuckled. I raised an eyebrow at him and he just smirked. I shook my head and took a huge bite of my crab sandwich. I didn’t expect that I was that hungry.

I finished my sandwich and my drink and so did he. We just put all the garbage in my garbage bin, while we laid out on my king sized bed. “I’m full,” I mumbled.

“I know, me too,” he groaned.

“Egg pudding makes me feel heavy,” I shared.

“I’m always heavy,” he mumbled, making me bust out laughing. “What are you laughing about?” he pouted.

“You finally admit that you’re fat,” I grinned, turning sideways. I propped up my elbow on my bed, and resting my head on my hand.

“I did not!” he protested, glaring at me, and did the same facing me.

“You just did,” I grinned.

“Did not,” he teased.

“Did too.”

“How so?”

“You said you were heavy,” I said.

“I said I was heavy. Because it’s all muscle.”

I rolled my eyes. “Right, save yourself,” I chuckled and laid back down.

There was a moment of silence, and me just staring up at the ceiling. Ryan broke it though. “Do you think we’ll be able to keep this house intact until they come back home?” he mumbled next to me, making me flinch a bit because I didn’t expect him to be so close to me.

“Are you suggesting something, Dolciani?” I chuckled.

He rolled his eyes at me. “I’m being serious.”

I sighed, and developed a sudden fascination of my ceiling. “If you stop being a douche,” I mumbled.

“If you stop hurting yourself.”

“If you stop telling me what to do.”

“If you stop being stubborn.”

“If you stop -,” I paused and looked at him. There was a familiar sparkle in his eyes. That same sparkle that he had when we were still bestfriends, and he had that mystery girl. Maybe he had a new … girl? That made my heart ache. Bad. “If you stop that look in your eyes,” I mumbled, looking away.

“What look?” he asked.

“That,” I mumbled.

“Like what? I’m not doing anything,” he defended.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, attempting to get up, but he just pulled me down

“No, really, what?” he asked.

“There’s nothing,” I lied again.

“Hazelyn. First of all, I could tell when you’re lying, because you avoid my eyes and you bite your lip, and the tone of your voice quivers and it’s half a note too sharp And second of all, you know you can tell me anything,” he assured.

“No, really,” I mumbled, looking away and avoided his eyes.

He took his finger and took hold of my chin, making me face him. Forcing me to look into his eyes and see that twinkle. It was brighter this time. His eyes were bright green, electrifying almost. I’ve never seen them like this. Well, at least I’ve never really focused on them this intently in the past.

“Can you uhm… Stop looking at me like that? Your eyes are really really green, and it’s kind of uhh.. shocking,” I stuttered, but kept looking into his eyes.

“What are you talking about? I’m looking at you like how I’ve looked at you for the past 3 years,” he whispered to me. I froze, and looked away. He made me face him again. “Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?” he whispered.

“A few times,” I smiled nervously.

He started leaning down towards me, and I let him. The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, and something rang, sending us flying away from each other, checking our phones. When I saw that it was my ipod, and that I accidentally pressed the play button and ripped off the earphones, I mentally cursed myself.

I went into bitch mode. “What are you doing here? What the fuck? I thought I told you to come see me once you had your decision?” I asked tapping my foot with my arms crossed.

He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were back to the mixture of blue and green. He shook his head at me and left without another word.

I sighed and sat down on my bed, burying my face in my hands. “Hazelyn, why are you such an idiot?” I mumbled.



At 2:15 in the morning, I decided to start my escape. I got all my stuff together and was about to take everything down stairs when somebody knocked on my door. My eyes widened. Ah shit! I shoved all my things under my bed and got into my covers as quick as I could.

I heard the door open and close, then came the footsteps.

“Hazelyn?” I heard him. “Are you awake?”

Obviously not, idiot.

I heard him sigh. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not. If you’re listening or not, but I wanna talk to you, please,” he pleaded. “I made… a decision,” he said nervously. I bit my lip.

Fuck you.

“Hazelyn?” he repeated. He probably saw my lip biting. I pretended to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

“What?” I asked grumpily.

“Did I wake you?”

“Obviously,” I mumbled.

“Sorry,” he said.

“Why are you here so early?” I asked.

“I was wondering about something,” he said.

“Uhuh?”

“I heard you left Stanford right after you got your diploma,” he said. I looked up at him and shrugged. “Why?” he asked.

“I was done already, I didn’t think I needed to stay any longer,” I lied. I knew he could tell, but I convinced myself that he fell for it.

“It was your dream school,” he said.

“Dreams change over time, doesn’t it?” I smiled lightly at him, having a flashback of the day in the park when he asked me of I wanted kids.

“The important ones stay the same,” he said to me. I shrugged and looked directly up the ceiling.

“How were your games? I haven’t been keeping up lately,” I asked, changing the subject.

“I’m off the team,” he said. My head snapped towards him.

“What!?” I asked. “Did you get kicked off?”

He looked at me weirdly. “No, I didn’t, I quit,” he said carefully.

“When?! Why?!” I asked hysterically. “Why the fuck would you do something like that?!” I growled, sitting up. He raised an eyebrow at me. “Nevermind,” I sighed. “So, how’s school?”

“I’m done with that too,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I quit that too,” he told me.

I was gonna throw a fit, but I successfully kept my façade. “Since when? Why?”

“Right after you left, just because,” he lied. I glared at him, and he just looked away. “I moved there for you, and you left,” he said softly. I knew it wasn’t the entire reason.

“How’s Audrey?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Aren’t you guys together?”

“No, where the hell would you get that idea?”

“Just expected it.”

“How the flying fuck would you expect me to go after Audrey?” he scoffed. “You make it seem like you don’t know me.” I just shrugged and took a sip of my drink. “It’s like, me going after Crystal Dane,” he said with a disgusted tone.

I smirked. “I remember she used to be like one of those toy monkeys that you Velcro around your neck,” I mumbled.

“Right?” he chuckled.

It was quiet for a few moments. “So, tell me why you really quit,” he said seriously.

“If you tell me why you quit the football team and school,” I bargained.

He sighed. “Fine. You first,” he said.

“You won’t get mad?” I asked, biting my lip.

“No,” he assured.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Sure?”

“Yes”

“Okay,” I bit my lip. “Well, I quit because uhm.. Audrey found out about us, and she threatened to kick you off the team and the school and I couldn’t have that in my conscience because at that point I didn’t know if you were mad at me or what, so I didn’t know how’d you react if I got you kicked off the team. I didn’t want you to hate me. If it was ending anyways, then I would have rather it be in peace than in a whole mess of you blaming me for getting kicked out, so I left,” I explained.

I looked up at Ryan, and he had a mixture of emotions on his face. Mad, sad, understanding. Probably almost every motion in the book.

“You’re fucking kidding,” he finally said.

“I wish I was,” I mumbled.

He got off my bed and started pacing across the room, running his fingers through his hair, mumbling incoherent words. “Ryan,” I called out. “Ryan,” I tried again. “Ryan Jerome Dolciani!” I shouted He stopped in front of me, his eyes wild and his hair messed up. “What is up with you?”

He groaned. “The reason that I left was for that same freaking reason! Because she threatened me that if I were to make the whole thing public, she’d get your license and diploma revoked and kick you out of school!” he said to me. “And I did show up at that party. I went through the back. I didn’t know that she was a friend of your mom’s or something, and she saw me there. She brought me all your papers, and she made me feel like complete shit, making me realize that I’m not good enough for you. She said that if I went up to you at that moment, she would make your life hell,” he mumbled, sitting on the ground, and buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he finally said.

My eyes softened and I got off my bed and hugged him. “Oh god, I’m so sorry Ry. I really didn’t want to get you into this shit,” I said to him. He lightly pushed me away from him, so he could look into my eyes.

“Hazelyn, you shouldn’t have left. You deserved to be in that school. You worked hard to get in there,” he told me. “And anything that involved me, you could’ve disregarded. Hell, I gave up on my dream school just so I could move to where you were, to get closer to you. Do you really think I could care any less about getting kicked off the school or the team?” he asked me. “I’d do and give up anything for you,” he said sincerely. “Remember that next time, okay?” he asked.

I nodded and sat back. “I’m sorry Ryan,” I said to him. “I got you into this shit,” I mumbled.

“It’s not your fault your boyfriend is so hot,” he smiled. I froze at that, and just stared at him..

“I’ve made a decision,” he announced, breaking the awkward tension, running his fingers through his hair.

“And?”