Tell Me I'm A Bad Man
Hotels and Food Fights
Bob’s point of view.
When everyone got out of the limo, Adele immediately started fussing over Frank. “Frankie,” she whined. “How many times do I have to tell you, don’t stick your head out a car window, especially in the woods and especially when you’re driving at way above any legal limit?”
“Wow,” I heard Mikey whisper. I looked at him, and saw that his mouth was hanging open. I followed his gaze and turned to look at the house.
It wasn’t even a house at all. It wasn’t even a mansion. It was gigantic. The huge white building had four floors and a ton of windows. It was white and grand, with fancy Corinthian pillars holding up the awning on the huge porch. There were about fifteen steps going up to the huge oak double doors in the front of it. On either side, the porch wrapped around the first floor. I just stood there in amazement, mesmerized by the sight of this massive structure.
“So,” I heard Gerard’s voice break my thoughts. “Who wants a tour?”
“What is this place?” Mikey asked in amazement. “This is your house?”
“Yeah. It is. It actually used to be a hotel a long time ago. It was called The Overlook,” Gerard answered.
“Hmmm…” Mikey said in response. “I’ve heard that name before, I just can’t remember where.”
“Really?” Gerard said. “This place was built in like, 1875.”
“Hey people. Nice driving, Frank,” someone from behind us said. I reluctantly turned around and saw the two people get off the motorcycle. One was a man who was pretty tall and had a lot of reddish curly hair, and the other was a woman who had dark brown hair and was scowling.
She slapped the back of his head. “Ray! You could have gotten us both killed! Why do you guys always insist on racing each other? God, you are so stupid.”
Ray just laughed and shook his head, letting his hair fly everywhere until it formed an afro.
“Aww, you know you like it,” he said smiling. “I know you think it’s fun.”
She just glared at him and slapped him across the face. “Ouch.” He said, gingerly touching the place on his cheek that now had a red handprint. Ray walked over to me and gave me a high five.
“Bob, I’m glad you came,” he said. “This is Kelly, my girlfriend.”
The woman he was pointing to was the one who had slapped him. “That may change if you don’t be careful,” she said to him.
He stuck his tongue out at her and she stuck the finger up at him. “And you get along so well,” I commented sarcastically.
“We’re in love,” Ray said, trying to avoid Kelly’s attempts to flick him in the forehead.
“You guys are dysfunctional,” Gerard said. “You always fight about the most retarded things.”
“I’m cold,” Mikey whined and everyone turned to look at him. “What? It’s true.”
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Ray, Kelly, this is Mikey, my little brother,” he said emphasizing the word ‘little’ as he put his arm around Mikey’s shoulders and pinched his cheeks.
“You have 3.5 seconds to get off of me, Gee,” Mikey said. “And I’m not little.”
“Of course you’re not,” Gerard said patronizingly. “Now get your suitcase out of the car before I throw it at you.”
Mikey walked over to the trunk of the car and pulled out his suitcase which was covered with band stickers. Frank was holding a napkin to his bleeding forehead as he skipped to the front of the group to lead us inside. When he tried to open the door, it was so thick and heavy that he needed Adele to help him open it. We all stepped inside.
The inside was even more beautiful as the outside. In the front lobby, there was a big oak desk in one corner, and a vast expanse of marble floor. There were two grand staircases in the lobby, one on each side, and they were marble also. The banisters were wooden and intricately carved with designs. On the far side, there was a set of doors that I guess led into a ballroom or something.
“Gerard! You’re back!” we heard someone squeal, as we heard footsteps upstairs that got louder and louder. A girl appeared at the top of the stairs, her brown hair flying everywhere as she came running down the stairs. Gerard took a step towards the staircase, and the girl jumped off the last step into his arms. “Gerard,” she said happily, kissing his cheek. “I haven’t seen you in so long! I missed you.”
“It was only a couple days,” he said, still holding her and petting her hair.
“Did you bring your brother?” she asked excitedly. “I wanna see if he’s as cute as you!”
Gerard turned so they were both facing us. “Guys,” he said. This is my girlfriend Nicole. Nicole, this is Bob Bryar, the lawyer I told you about, and Marilyn Cullen, or Mo, she’s Bob’s neighbor.”
“Who’s this, then?” she asked, pointing to Mikey.
“This is my brother, Michael James Way,” Gerard stated proudly.
“Actually I prefer being called Mikey,” Mikey said giving Gerard a strange look.
Nicole jumped down from Gerard’s arms and pulled him over so he was standing next to Mikey. Then she took a step back and kept looking back and forth between the two. Adele, Mo, and Kelly stood next to her, and they all compared the two brothers, who looked like they both suddenly felt awkward.
“Hmm. Mikey’s taller,” one of them said.
“And he’s not platinum blond,” another said.
“And he’s skinnier,” one who I knew was Mo said.
“Hey!” Gerard said, looking sad.
Nicole hugged him. “You’re skinny too, hon,” she said. “But you have to admit, Mikey is a stick figure.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Gerard said, looking at his brother.
“Why is everyone staring at me?” Mikey asked self-consciously. “Do you people have any food? I’m freakin’ starving.”
“Yeah, me too,” Frank agreed. “Bleeding really takes a lot out of you.”
“Yeah, like I don’t know, maybe it takes a lot of blood?” I said sarcastically.
“Shut up,” he said, punching me in the arm. “Now someone get me a sandwich.”
“Get it yourself, you lazy bum,” Adele said, folding her arms and fixing him with a death glare.
“Fine. To the kitchen!” Frank started walking to the doors at the opposite side of the lobby.
The rest of us followed him, and we all stepped into a huge room with a gigantic chandelier and a grand piano. “This is the Ballroom,” Gerard said unnecessarily.
Frank kept going to a door on the other side of the room and kept going. We were now in a room that looked like a restaurant with a bunch of tables. “This is the Dining Room,” Gerard commented.
“Dude,” Mikey said. “Thank you Captain Obvious.”
“Meanie,” Gerard muttered.
Finally, we got to a huge industrial kitchen. “Ha! Take that!” someone yelled from the other end. We all kept walking and saw two girls who were covered in various types of food.
“Peace, PJ, what are you doing? Didn’t I tell you last week to stop having food fights?” Gerard asked.
They both grinned guiltily. One of them, the taller one, wiped the whipped cream out of her eyes and looked down at the floor. The other one just pointed at the first one. “She started it,” the girl protested.
“I don’t care,” Gerard said firmly. “Now I want both of you to clean this up. And stop wasting so much food. It’s disgusting. But first, I want you to meet some people. This is Mikey, my brother, this is Bob Bryar, the lawyer from Chicago, and this is Mo Cullen, from Chicago.”
The shorter one stepped forward to shake my hand. “Hey, I’m Peace,” she said smiling. When she pulled her hand away, I realized that I now had ketchup all over my hand. Frank started laughing at me, but then suddenly a piece of cheese fell off the ceiling and onto his head.
“Ew!” he screamed, pulling the cheese off and throwing it on the floor.
“OOOOHH!” the other girl screamed. “YOU JUST THREW FOOD ON THE FLOOR, NOW YOU HAVE TO HELP US CLEAN IT UP!!!!”
“Shut up, PJ,” Frank said. “I could have thrown it at your face. Be glad I didn’t.”
“Oh thank you, Frank,” PJ said sarcastically. “I am eternally grateful for the fact that you didn’t throw cheese at my face. Even though you’ve done it before.”
I found a napkin and wiped the ketchup off my hand. “I want food. Gerard, make me a sandwich,” Mikey commanded.
“Piss off,” Gerard said. “You can’t tell me what to do, little brother. Keep in mind I’m in charge of this whole thing.”
“Yeah, you may be the Conductor, but as soon as I find myself a cooler title, I’ll be in charge,” Mikey said smirking. “Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”
So we all made ourselves some food, and Peace and PJ cleaned up the food fight mess they had made.
Gerard’s point of view.
I wasn’t sure of what to think of Mikey’s comment about being in charge, but I didn’t care. I was happy, my brother was here now! Now my cult really felt like my family.
“So who wants to see their rooms?” I asked cheerfully as everyone finished stuffing their faces.
“ME!” Frankie screamed, raising his hand and sort of waving it around.
“Frank, hate to break it to ya, but you already live here,” Ray said.
“Oh yeah,” Frank said quietly. “My head hurts.”
Adele turned him to face her. “Ew,” she said. “It looks all nasty and stuff. Maybe you need to put a Band-Aid on the cut.”
“Dude,” Bob said. “You need stitches. We should take you to the hospital.”
“Or I’ll sew you up myself,” Ray said evilly. “Ha. That’d be funny. Someone bring me a needle and some thread. I’ll sew your face right up.”
“Or you could use a guitar string,” Kelly offered.
“Ew! Stopstopstopstopstop!” Adele shrieked. “That would hurt so much, having a cut sewn up with a guitar string. Gross! That’s like, having metal in your face, and you wouldn’t even be nice about it.”
“Smart girl,” Ray said sarcastically. “But which string should we use?”
“The thickest one would hold Frankie’s face together the best,” Kelly said.
“Okay, now I understand why you two are together,” I said, grossed out by these crazy people. “You’re both sick.”
Ray and Kelly both laughed evilly. Adele just shook her head, her blonde hair flying everywhere as she did so.
“You are not coming near my face with a needle or any string,” Frank said, a strange expression on his face.
“Whatever. Let’s just get you people rooms,” I said. “Come on.”
I led them all back to the lobby and picked out a few of the tasseled keys from behind the desk. We went up the stairs to the second floor where everyone’s rooms were. I let the three of them pick what room they wanted, and they went inside.
My brother immediately dropped his suitcase when he walked in. I swear, he is astonished by the strangest things. The suitcase landed on his foot when he dropped it, but Mikey didn’t seem to notice. “This is my room?” he whispered, his eyes scanning over all the details of it, the big, plushy couch, the picture window that over looked the lake behind the hotel. The fireplace with intricately carved designs around it, the 60 inch plasma screen TV that hung on one wall.
“No,” I said. My brother looked heartbroken when I said that. “This is your living room. That door leads to your bedroom.” I pointed to one of the doors in the wall.
Mikey walked over to it and opened it, turning the brass doorknob as if it was the most special thing he ever touched. He took a step inside the room and gasped. I looked over his shoulder at the big, soft, canopy bed, a second fire place, pine wardrobe, matching pine dresser, window that showed the lake just like the other.
“Like it?” I asked. Mikey just turned around and hugged me. “I’ll take that as a yes,” I said.
“Gerard, I have to tell you something,” Mikey said as he pulled away from me.
“No, don’t tell me that they switched the babies at the hospital and you’re not my real brother,” I said.
“No, I’m your real brother,” he said. “But I’ve decided something, and I’m going to tell you about it before you cut me off with another stupid comment.”
“Then tell me,” I said, interested.
“I’ve decided to join The Black Parade,” Mikey said smiling at me.
“Now is that because you want to live here?” I asked. “Or because you really want to?”
“I want to join, I really do,” he replied honestly.
“Cool! But there’s a ceremony,” I told him.
“Okay, just, I have to go back to Jersey and sort everything out,” Mikey said.
“Alright,” I told him. “But I know you’ll be happy here, Mikes.”
“Yeah, I know. So, wanna go back and find the others?” he said.
I shrugged. “Okay.”
When everyone got out of the limo, Adele immediately started fussing over Frank. “Frankie,” she whined. “How many times do I have to tell you, don’t stick your head out a car window, especially in the woods and especially when you’re driving at way above any legal limit?”
“Wow,” I heard Mikey whisper. I looked at him, and saw that his mouth was hanging open. I followed his gaze and turned to look at the house.
It wasn’t even a house at all. It wasn’t even a mansion. It was gigantic. The huge white building had four floors and a ton of windows. It was white and grand, with fancy Corinthian pillars holding up the awning on the huge porch. There were about fifteen steps going up to the huge oak double doors in the front of it. On either side, the porch wrapped around the first floor. I just stood there in amazement, mesmerized by the sight of this massive structure.
“So,” I heard Gerard’s voice break my thoughts. “Who wants a tour?”
“What is this place?” Mikey asked in amazement. “This is your house?”
“Yeah. It is. It actually used to be a hotel a long time ago. It was called The Overlook,” Gerard answered.
“Hmmm…” Mikey said in response. “I’ve heard that name before, I just can’t remember where.”
“Really?” Gerard said. “This place was built in like, 1875.”
“Hey people. Nice driving, Frank,” someone from behind us said. I reluctantly turned around and saw the two people get off the motorcycle. One was a man who was pretty tall and had a lot of reddish curly hair, and the other was a woman who had dark brown hair and was scowling.
She slapped the back of his head. “Ray! You could have gotten us both killed! Why do you guys always insist on racing each other? God, you are so stupid.”
Ray just laughed and shook his head, letting his hair fly everywhere until it formed an afro.
“Aww, you know you like it,” he said smiling. “I know you think it’s fun.”
She just glared at him and slapped him across the face. “Ouch.” He said, gingerly touching the place on his cheek that now had a red handprint. Ray walked over to me and gave me a high five.
“Bob, I’m glad you came,” he said. “This is Kelly, my girlfriend.”
The woman he was pointing to was the one who had slapped him. “That may change if you don’t be careful,” she said to him.
He stuck his tongue out at her and she stuck the finger up at him. “And you get along so well,” I commented sarcastically.
“We’re in love,” Ray said, trying to avoid Kelly’s attempts to flick him in the forehead.
“You guys are dysfunctional,” Gerard said. “You always fight about the most retarded things.”
“I’m cold,” Mikey whined and everyone turned to look at him. “What? It’s true.”
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Ray, Kelly, this is Mikey, my little brother,” he said emphasizing the word ‘little’ as he put his arm around Mikey’s shoulders and pinched his cheeks.
“You have 3.5 seconds to get off of me, Gee,” Mikey said. “And I’m not little.”
“Of course you’re not,” Gerard said patronizingly. “Now get your suitcase out of the car before I throw it at you.”
Mikey walked over to the trunk of the car and pulled out his suitcase which was covered with band stickers. Frank was holding a napkin to his bleeding forehead as he skipped to the front of the group to lead us inside. When he tried to open the door, it was so thick and heavy that he needed Adele to help him open it. We all stepped inside.
The inside was even more beautiful as the outside. In the front lobby, there was a big oak desk in one corner, and a vast expanse of marble floor. There were two grand staircases in the lobby, one on each side, and they were marble also. The banisters were wooden and intricately carved with designs. On the far side, there was a set of doors that I guess led into a ballroom or something.
“Gerard! You’re back!” we heard someone squeal, as we heard footsteps upstairs that got louder and louder. A girl appeared at the top of the stairs, her brown hair flying everywhere as she came running down the stairs. Gerard took a step towards the staircase, and the girl jumped off the last step into his arms. “Gerard,” she said happily, kissing his cheek. “I haven’t seen you in so long! I missed you.”
“It was only a couple days,” he said, still holding her and petting her hair.
“Did you bring your brother?” she asked excitedly. “I wanna see if he’s as cute as you!”
Gerard turned so they were both facing us. “Guys,” he said. This is my girlfriend Nicole. Nicole, this is Bob Bryar, the lawyer I told you about, and Marilyn Cullen, or Mo, she’s Bob’s neighbor.”
“Who’s this, then?” she asked, pointing to Mikey.
“This is my brother, Michael James Way,” Gerard stated proudly.
“Actually I prefer being called Mikey,” Mikey said giving Gerard a strange look.
Nicole jumped down from Gerard’s arms and pulled him over so he was standing next to Mikey. Then she took a step back and kept looking back and forth between the two. Adele, Mo, and Kelly stood next to her, and they all compared the two brothers, who looked like they both suddenly felt awkward.
“Hmm. Mikey’s taller,” one of them said.
“And he’s not platinum blond,” another said.
“And he’s skinnier,” one who I knew was Mo said.
“Hey!” Gerard said, looking sad.
Nicole hugged him. “You’re skinny too, hon,” she said. “But you have to admit, Mikey is a stick figure.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Gerard said, looking at his brother.
“Why is everyone staring at me?” Mikey asked self-consciously. “Do you people have any food? I’m freakin’ starving.”
“Yeah, me too,” Frank agreed. “Bleeding really takes a lot out of you.”
“Yeah, like I don’t know, maybe it takes a lot of blood?” I said sarcastically.
“Shut up,” he said, punching me in the arm. “Now someone get me a sandwich.”
“Get it yourself, you lazy bum,” Adele said, folding her arms and fixing him with a death glare.
“Fine. To the kitchen!” Frank started walking to the doors at the opposite side of the lobby.
The rest of us followed him, and we all stepped into a huge room with a gigantic chandelier and a grand piano. “This is the Ballroom,” Gerard said unnecessarily.
Frank kept going to a door on the other side of the room and kept going. We were now in a room that looked like a restaurant with a bunch of tables. “This is the Dining Room,” Gerard commented.
“Dude,” Mikey said. “Thank you Captain Obvious.”
“Meanie,” Gerard muttered.
Finally, we got to a huge industrial kitchen. “Ha! Take that!” someone yelled from the other end. We all kept walking and saw two girls who were covered in various types of food.
“Peace, PJ, what are you doing? Didn’t I tell you last week to stop having food fights?” Gerard asked.
They both grinned guiltily. One of them, the taller one, wiped the whipped cream out of her eyes and looked down at the floor. The other one just pointed at the first one. “She started it,” the girl protested.
“I don’t care,” Gerard said firmly. “Now I want both of you to clean this up. And stop wasting so much food. It’s disgusting. But first, I want you to meet some people. This is Mikey, my brother, this is Bob Bryar, the lawyer from Chicago, and this is Mo Cullen, from Chicago.”
The shorter one stepped forward to shake my hand. “Hey, I’m Peace,” she said smiling. When she pulled her hand away, I realized that I now had ketchup all over my hand. Frank started laughing at me, but then suddenly a piece of cheese fell off the ceiling and onto his head.
“Ew!” he screamed, pulling the cheese off and throwing it on the floor.
“OOOOHH!” the other girl screamed. “YOU JUST THREW FOOD ON THE FLOOR, NOW YOU HAVE TO HELP US CLEAN IT UP!!!!”
“Shut up, PJ,” Frank said. “I could have thrown it at your face. Be glad I didn’t.”
“Oh thank you, Frank,” PJ said sarcastically. “I am eternally grateful for the fact that you didn’t throw cheese at my face. Even though you’ve done it before.”
I found a napkin and wiped the ketchup off my hand. “I want food. Gerard, make me a sandwich,” Mikey commanded.
“Piss off,” Gerard said. “You can’t tell me what to do, little brother. Keep in mind I’m in charge of this whole thing.”
“Yeah, you may be the Conductor, but as soon as I find myself a cooler title, I’ll be in charge,” Mikey said smirking. “Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”
So we all made ourselves some food, and Peace and PJ cleaned up the food fight mess they had made.
Gerard’s point of view.
I wasn’t sure of what to think of Mikey’s comment about being in charge, but I didn’t care. I was happy, my brother was here now! Now my cult really felt like my family.
“So who wants to see their rooms?” I asked cheerfully as everyone finished stuffing their faces.
“ME!” Frankie screamed, raising his hand and sort of waving it around.
“Frank, hate to break it to ya, but you already live here,” Ray said.
“Oh yeah,” Frank said quietly. “My head hurts.”
Adele turned him to face her. “Ew,” she said. “It looks all nasty and stuff. Maybe you need to put a Band-Aid on the cut.”
“Dude,” Bob said. “You need stitches. We should take you to the hospital.”
“Or I’ll sew you up myself,” Ray said evilly. “Ha. That’d be funny. Someone bring me a needle and some thread. I’ll sew your face right up.”
“Or you could use a guitar string,” Kelly offered.
“Ew! Stopstopstopstopstop!” Adele shrieked. “That would hurt so much, having a cut sewn up with a guitar string. Gross! That’s like, having metal in your face, and you wouldn’t even be nice about it.”
“Smart girl,” Ray said sarcastically. “But which string should we use?”
“The thickest one would hold Frankie’s face together the best,” Kelly said.
“Okay, now I understand why you two are together,” I said, grossed out by these crazy people. “You’re both sick.”
Ray and Kelly both laughed evilly. Adele just shook her head, her blonde hair flying everywhere as she did so.
“You are not coming near my face with a needle or any string,” Frank said, a strange expression on his face.
“Whatever. Let’s just get you people rooms,” I said. “Come on.”
I led them all back to the lobby and picked out a few of the tasseled keys from behind the desk. We went up the stairs to the second floor where everyone’s rooms were. I let the three of them pick what room they wanted, and they went inside.
My brother immediately dropped his suitcase when he walked in. I swear, he is astonished by the strangest things. The suitcase landed on his foot when he dropped it, but Mikey didn’t seem to notice. “This is my room?” he whispered, his eyes scanning over all the details of it, the big, plushy couch, the picture window that over looked the lake behind the hotel. The fireplace with intricately carved designs around it, the 60 inch plasma screen TV that hung on one wall.
“No,” I said. My brother looked heartbroken when I said that. “This is your living room. That door leads to your bedroom.” I pointed to one of the doors in the wall.
Mikey walked over to it and opened it, turning the brass doorknob as if it was the most special thing he ever touched. He took a step inside the room and gasped. I looked over his shoulder at the big, soft, canopy bed, a second fire place, pine wardrobe, matching pine dresser, window that showed the lake just like the other.
“Like it?” I asked. Mikey just turned around and hugged me. “I’ll take that as a yes,” I said.
“Gerard, I have to tell you something,” Mikey said as he pulled away from me.
“No, don’t tell me that they switched the babies at the hospital and you’re not my real brother,” I said.
“No, I’m your real brother,” he said. “But I’ve decided something, and I’m going to tell you about it before you cut me off with another stupid comment.”
“Then tell me,” I said, interested.
“I’ve decided to join The Black Parade,” Mikey said smiling at me.
“Now is that because you want to live here?” I asked. “Or because you really want to?”
“I want to join, I really do,” he replied honestly.
“Cool! But there’s a ceremony,” I told him.
“Okay, just, I have to go back to Jersey and sort everything out,” Mikey said.
“Alright,” I told him. “But I know you’ll be happy here, Mikes.”
“Yeah, I know. So, wanna go back and find the others?” he said.
I shrugged. “Okay.”