One Way or Another

Months passed, and after a calmed and somehow normal Christmas things seemed to be going back to “normal”. That is if they were ever normal. I honestly, don’t remember.

“Here you go, one ice-latte. I honestly don’t know how you can drink that, it’s fucking freezing.”

“Outside”

“Yeah, true but….Ugh, never mind”

I smiled triumphal at the won argument, as I pushed myself back into the couch and Frank changed channels furiously trying to find something at least mild entertaining.

“Dude slowdown. I can’t see shit. How are you suppose to find something if you can’t see anything??!”

I then realized how maniac I must have sounded. I didn’t mean to shout at him like that. He put the control down, some movie credits flowed the screen, as he turned around facing me.

“What’s wrong with you? I would have thought you were PMSing or something, if I didn’t know you were pregnant.”

I nodded, understating where his worries were coming from. I inched forward, placing my ice cold and empty cup on the coffee table and throwing myself back on the couch. We just sat there for a couple of minutes. Neither of us saying a word, as some hardcore rock song played in the background as the credits continue to roll up the screen.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked up at him, sick of hearing those words from all the people I cared about so much. And sometimes even from myself.

“Frank…it’s ok. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have….”

“Led me on?”

“Exactly. I guess it’s just all the shit that I’ve been through that’s making me so confused about my feelings. Makes me doubt them. I don’t want to doubt them Frank.”

“Of course you don’t.” his hand took hold of right hand. The one with the engagement ring.

“It looks so beautiful on you. But you know what will be even more beautiful?”

I shook my head no. Even though I had a couple of things in mind.

“This beautiful baby laying right in here.” his hands traced those so familiar soft circles I was used to feeling, on my still covered tummy.

“You’re right.” I smiled to myself as I thought about our kid. Gerard and I’s.

“Well, I’m gonna go get the bath ready so you can clean and relax for a little while.”

And with that he disappeared, up the stairs.

****************************

Frank’s POV

I waited as the bathtub started filling itself with warm water. I knew what I had done was messed up. But I honestly just thought she was into me.
Even if that were the case I should have just ignored her. She was engaged with my best friend. And also happened to be carrying his child as well. So why be suck an asshole??

“The bathtub’s ready. Need help up the stairs?”

I saw her nod from her comfortable spot on the couch as I made my way towards her. I help her up, holding her by her arms, and then let her put her weight on my shoulders, as she wrapped her arm around my waist. Getting up wasn’t an easy task. Being on her fifth month wasn’t an easy thing in general. She would get moody often and sometimes….well it only happened once…

I was as usual taking care of her was Gee was off at collage. We were laying down on his bed, just talking when all of the sudden she asks for a favor. A pretty normal one for that time.

“Frankie, can you rub my tummy please?”

“Uh, yeah sure thing love”

Yeah, I had my set of nicknames for her. A set of which Gee had no idea about and that I, of course, used only in his absence.
I lifted her shirt up, revealing her quite pale baby bump and starting rubbing the usual soft circles on it. It always seemed to calm her down and relax her.

“You know…I’m like sooo horny right now.” she commented with her eyes still closed.

I didn’t know what to say. What should I say?

“Is that so?”

“As a matter of fact it is. And this you’re doing is only turning me on even more.”

I immediately stopped what I was doing. I couldn’t keep going if it was turning her on.

“Aw Frankie, why did you stop?” she complained, her eyes fluttering open.

I sat up on the bed, and in an attempt to get up she grabbed my arm pulling me towards her.

“Stay. Don’t go. Everyone always leaves me.”

She said it in such a sad tone I almost forgot about what had happened seconds earlier. Until one of her hands made its way up my shirt, while the other started pulling it off.

“Wait. We can’t do this.”

“Uh, yeah we can. It’s actually pretty easy. Here, I’ll show you.”

I stopped her hand half way through its process of removing my shirt.

“No, we can’t. Listen, you’re probably feeling a bit…….like this because of…..that….” I looked down at her growing baby bump.

“Trust me, anything we do now we’ll regret later. Besides the fact that I will probably start getting paranoid and shit when I’m around Gee. Your fiancée.” I pronounced the last word strongly, to see if it would get her to think straight.

She just nodded and let herself sink back down on the bed, her eyes closing again. I did the same myself. But my hands remained on my chest, fidgeting with one of my rings.