One Way or Another

I opened my eyes as soon as I felt the sunlight burn my lids. I was still on the couch and when I went to stand up was when I realized that so was he. I moved his arm from around my waist and got up. But I ended waking him up too, when I let out an accidental yawn.

“Morning beautiful…” he yawned too and got up to wrap his arms around me once more.

I loved the feeling of them around me. It made me feel so safe, protected. Like nothing wrong could happen to me as long as I was in his warm arms.

But I pulled away.

“Morning. Let me go make us something to eat, quickly”

I made my way to the small kitchen, placing my hands on the counter firmly. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want it to be like it was before. Mainly, cause it could never be like that again. We might have had the most amazing relationship ever, but we ruined it. And no matter what we do, it will never work out after all the shit he made me go through. He just should have thought better about it, before leaving me. And the last thing I needed was my heart being shattered into pieces again.

After grabbing something from the counter and the fridge, I headed back to where he was standing just as I left him. I placed the bowls, milk and cereal box on the small round table and took a seat. He did the same and soon enough we were having breakfast in silence.

“So, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out on Saturday night. I heard about this really good club downtown.”

I listen to him, as I did the dishes and he was casually leaning on the counter beside me. He was trying to ask me out, it seemed. I finished with the last bowl and turned around to look at him, suggestively smiling at me like he used to before.

“Listen Gee, I really would love to go. But as friends….of course” I added the last part just to not seem like a ego inflated Barbie.

His eyes lost some of the special shine they had when he asked. But he nodded, okay with it. I nodded too to myself and looked around. Was there something I was forgetting about?

“We should be heading off to class, don’t you think?”

Of course, class.

“Yeah, you go ahead I have to change and I’ll be on my way.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. I’ll wait for you” he smiled sweetly at me and I returned him the smile a little cautiously as of what it might mean.

After finally agreeing on what I could and couldn’t were in public view, we were finally walking down the street, no physical contact whatsoever.

*************************

“Wanna go get some ice-cream?”

I looked at him like he was crazy. And maybe it was because it was fall and it had just started to rain. We were sitting on the front stairs of the Art building and randomly looking at people hurry by with or without umbrellas.

“So, wanna?”

He seemed so eager to go get some ice cream, that I just couldn’t say no. As soon as I nodded he yanked me by the arm and pulled me down the street, towards the ice-cream shop. When we got there, we were more than soaked and he was more than excited to choose his ice cream flavors. He seemed like a little kid, excited for Christmas day. I really had never seen this side of him.

“Umm…..minted chocolate and….ohh! Lemon for sure!”

I scrunched my nose, a little bit grossed out by his flavor combination. Let’s just say, I would never have chosen those two flavors together.

“You Miss?” the girl getting our treats asked me, after handing Gerard his ice cream cone.

“Oh…I’ll have raspberry and Mocca cream” I smiled as I waited for mine.

Gerard turned to me with the same expression I presume I had on my face just seconds ago.

“What??”

“Nothing….you’re just weird, ya know”

I laughed and got my ice cream. He lead the way to a table by the window and we sat to enjoy the darn weird flavored ice cream.

After finishing them, I followed him back outside as he started walking back to the collage.

“Here again….and soaking wet”

He looked at me weirdly.

“What?”

He giggled softly before answering.

“Nothing, it’s just that….I can’t believe I left you. I couldn’t ever leave behind someone as amazing as you.”

I starting panicking when I saw he was inching closer. And I almost freaked when he leaned in towards me, his lips trying to reach mine. So I just erased the reaming space between us by stretching my arms, and wrapping them around him in a hug. I felt him put his hands on my waist and rest his head on my shoulder.

“Class’s about to start. We better be heading to the class with all those stairs ya know?”

As soon as I pulled away, I saw he still had a rejected look, that I had maybe been just imagining. But no. It was really there.

As we walked up the stairs right behind him. I couldn’t stop wondering.

Did he still have feelings towards me?