That Purple Flame

I focused on anything but him, I knew he was mad. He has to be, I mean he had gotten into two fights for me with Tommy- Tom I meant.

My head was down and I gestured to the bench on our back yard porch. My feet were draging into the sand and I had no idea what to say to Chuckie.

Once we made it to the bench I sat down and took a deep breath.

Oh, god he going to yell.

"What was that?" He spoke at the same time I said "how long were you there?" I looked up at him and sighed.

"You know what I was doing." I mumbled, shamed that chuckie saw Tom and I.

"You told me you were working on the photography assignment not flirting with Tom."
His voice wan't harsh, it was just like a debating tone. A calm sophisticated tone,

"I wasn't flirtin with Tom, but I know." I whispered.

"Why were you with him?" My eyes were gazing into his and all I wanted to do is to be in his arms, maybe even kiss him. Hopefully get off this subject soon, though.

"He apologized, he said that he was sorry for hurting me and being mean to everybody."
Chuck ccuffed and I glared at him. Was he insulting me?

"What?" My voice sounded offended, and I probably am by now.

"Do you actually believe him?" His hair blew alittle with the breeze, I wanted to wipe it away.
Rose, pay attention. Chuckie just asked you a question.

"I..Uhh-I'm not sure." I whispered fidgetting with my camera's wrist strap.

"Rose," He whispered my heart fluttered when he said my name. Oh Chuckie, please say it again.

"Please tell me you aren't believing him." His voice was very clear of beg. It shocked me and I looked into his beautiful dark green eyes.

My head shook, "I'm not, he just wants to sleep with me." I was telling myself that, too.
My fingers were twirling the wrist band alot.

Chuckies chuckle filled my ears and his warmth closed onto my hands.

"Stop messing with that, your making me uncomfortable." I smiled up at him, hopeful that Chuckie wasn't mad at me.

"Your not mad at me?" Our closeness didn't effect me nor did it affect him.

"Never."

"Good, Because I need you," I started to get alittle closer, then rested my head on his shoulder "to be my pillow." Chuckie shook with chuckles and wraped his arm around my shouler.

"I remember when you were so quiet, it was mysterious." The veiw of the sun rise was beautiful, and I yawned after i said that.

"It's much better to talk to you, now." his voice was soft and comforting.

"Ditto." I whispered slowlyy dropping my eyes.

"What time did you wake up at?"

"five? I think." I mummbled. "Why?" I asked.

"Because your basically drooling on me!" He pointed out laughing, I smiled and looked up at him.

"Am not."

"You tottaly are." He protsted, I didn't have the energy to fight with Chuckie any longer. Instead I stayed quiet, keeping it quiet for a while now. Chuckie is an amazing guy, i don't understand why anybody would break up with him.

"Hey Chuck?" I asked.

"Yea?"

"What's up with you and Susie?" I knew this question bothered him. It bothered me even more when it bothered him.

"What do you mean?" his voice was sloft, as if he was trying to block another feeling, I glanced up at him staring towards the sun rise only paying attention to that.

"Kimi told me some stuff and I just wanted to know if some were true, if you still like her." I felt and heard him sigh. "I didn't just like her, Rose" His deep voice was all I could hear.

"Susie, she was my first everything; in seventh grade all we did was flirt with each other, she was all I could think of, then when there was a field trip to the beach, she was so hot in that bikini so I went up to her,"

I didn't know if I wanted to hear him, but he was telling me what was part of him, and that's what I want to hear.

"I kissed her infront of her friends, my first kiss, she kissed me back and the shaperones stopped us, we got in trouble, but that kiss was worth it and started everything." He rested his head on mine now.

"She was my first girlfriend, we were the serious couple, my parents did not want me to get too serious, they said it would break my heart even more, and they were right."

I snuggled closer to him "it was the summer, the end of freshman year, and we were still a serious couple. I mentioned sexual things to her now and then during ninth grade, but I didn't expect us to actually do it. My parents were on a vacation, their second honeymoon, and Kimi was at Lil's place for the night, I decided to call Susie up and ask her to come over."

he took another sigh "She wanted us to get the whole virgin thing over with, because Angelica was becoming a whore and has been pressuring us to have sex."

"We did, she said she was ready and so was I, so we had sex, it was, in my words, clumbsy, but amazing"

My face had gotten a bit red, I didn't want to hear that Chuckie is sexually active.

"A month later, she was freaking out, saying that's she might be pregnate, but then said that she isn't two days later, I fell in love with her before the sex, so I was lost when she wanted to break up."

"She said that it isn't working out, that she's been having second thoughts, I admit, it hurt me, but she wanted to break up, what was I supposed to do? two months passed, and she found another guy. Two months! we've been together for four years, and she get's over the whole break up within two months!"

"Sometimes I want her back, but in others it's great to be single. She was with that guy only for three months and then she apologized to me for moving on and wanted to be friends, so we're still friends."

I smiled at him that he could be so open with me.

"Well it's good that you're single."

He smiled widely and leaned down to my face to kiss me, and I invited him, our lips moved against each others and I stopped.

"My dad is in the house, he'll think im whoring around if he sees us." I smiled at him and pecked his lips once again before stitting ahead to look at the ocean.

"So, how was your last break up?" I was hoping to avoid that, I looked away from him.

"In Washington, just before I moved, James called me, he's been my boyfriend for a while. We met up at the park, he tells me that he doesn't want to do the whole long distance, and basically tells me that if he isn't getting some now, then why wait all the way over there?" I looked at his pissed eyes and i smiled.

"I punched him." Laughnig it out a bit.

"This guy cried on the phone leaving me voicemails, but it's good to move here and have a fresh start."

"Guys here are worse." Chuckie said, I shook my head in reject.

"So far i've met one great one." I reached for his hand and laced them. His smiled grew wider then frowned, letting my hand go.

"I-I can't Rose." I glanced at him confused. I don't understand what he's trying to say.

"What do you mean?" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"What are we doing? Are we doing what you and Dylan do? Because I'd rather not be with you like that." he stands up and starts to walk.

"It's not like that Chuckie-"

"Then what are we doing!" he cut me off and I stood up.

"I am not sure, Chuckie! I'm as clueless as you are! I don't know what we're doing but I like it. I know you do too, othe wise you would'nt be here now." He stands still, but doesn't say a thing.

"I can't do this, Rose." he whisperes but I hear him so clearly, my heart drops so fast, it feels like a roller coaster is inside of me.

"Chuckie, why are you doing this? Why do you seem to leave me when things get out of hand?" He starts to slowly walk away.

"You just can't take this seriously can you?" he's out of my view and my eyes start to water.
I like him, alot, and he just walks away from it. I take out my phone and call Dylan.

It goes straight to voicemail, "Hey, you dialed Dylan Pee-to the-Ickles, leave a message and you get a pickle." I sighed and wiped a tear that just fell from my eye down to my cheek.

"Call me when you get this Dylan, I need you right now, it's Rose."

I placed my cell phone in my back pocket and slide the glass door to go inside my kitchen.

"Who was that?" My dad's voice made me jump, he was already dressed in his dressy blazer and white under shirt with a dark red tie around it; then his nice black dressy slacks with his dark brown dress shoes.

I went to grab a coffee cup, and looked at him.

"And why were you crying?" he took a sip of his coffee and leaned an arm on the island table, pushing all his weight on that table and arm.

Oh crap.