I Never Meant to Start a War

I hadn’t answered my phone for the last four days, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that I had two voicemails when I checked, both from earlier today. I didn’t look at who left them, just listened.

“Marie,” Paul’s pained voice came through the line. My heart constricted. “I haven’t heard from you in almost a week, so I thought I would call to see if you’re okay. But you’re not answering. I guess that’s okay. I just—God, Marie, I’m sorry that I’ve been acting so stupid lately, it’s just—I don’t want to share you with some leech. I lo—You’re my imprint, so I will do anything for you, but everyone is selfish. Me, the leech, even you, beautiful. You’re selfish only because you desperately want two opposites in a world where it just doesn’t work that way, and I’m sorry that it’s all my fault. Marie, I am so sorry. I l—Marie? Just . . . if you chose him, if you love him more than me, just let me know. I’ll understand.” He paused. “Goodbye, sweetheart. My Marie.”

The next was Edward, left just ten minutes ago: “He’s made his decision. I hope you’ve made yours.”

~*~

I knew I had.

I love two men. I love a vampire, and I love a werewolf. I love two people that would love me forever, despite everything I had put them through. One would always love me. One would never give up.

Both would give up anything for me.

Both would fight anyone for me.

But I knew that it wasn’t that easy. I couldn’t lead one on for the rest of my life—I would have to take Emily’s advice and listen to my heart. I would have to look over everything I have gone through in the past few months and I would have to accept the inevitable. I would have to tell one of the men I loved that I didn’t want to love them anymore.

I waited until night fell, because then I would feel like I had some sense of security in the darkness surrounding me. The moon could be seen attempting to shine through the trees as I paced in front of one of the men I loved, and I thought that it looked kind of like me. Kind of like it wanted to give up, but it knew that it couldn’t, that someone out there was counting on it to give them light.

I looked up at the moon for a long, long moment.

Too soon, I turned back to the man in front of me, the one who was watching me under the moonlight. I looked at him for a long time.

And as I stood there, facing him, I knew I had made the right choice. I knew I was going to have to honor my heart and let him go, not matter how much it hurts, how much I cry. I had to do this. I had to choose.

I looked into his eyes and whispered the words I needed to say to let him go: “I love him more. I’m sorry.”