Here's Everything I've Always Meant to Say

I straightened my hair as I listened to my parents scream back and forth, arguing yet again about something pointless I was sure. Looking in the mirror I couldn’t help be despise what I saw. I wasn’t the prettiest girl. I had shortish red hair that came down to my mid neck. And I usually straightened it and flared the ends out. My blue eyes watered slightly as they screamed. It wasn’t that they did this all the time. This was one of those blow out fights.

Two weeks of avoiding each other, of getting upset over the littlest thing the other says and giving the other the silent treatment for days on end and then it explodes and everything’s fine the next day or two and the cycle starts all over again. It was a cycle that was starting to wear on me. My arms showed the effects, cuts and scars and little sharpie scribbled lyrics to cover the healing cuts. The worst part was that every fight got louder, more violent and I was scared. Scared that my father was going to fly off the hinges and hit my mother or well even me.

I closed my eyes blinking back the tears as I heard my name in the argument and then something crashing downstairs. I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t listen any more. I hurried and put my eyeliner on my face and grabbed my purse. Slipping my cell phone and my razor into my purse before climbing out my window. I didn’t care if they figured out I was gone. Nothing like that mattered right now. I just needed to get out.

I had no idea where I was going…I didn’t even care where I was going any more. Walking lost down the road in the dark. Nothing mattered to me anymore not school, not my life I barely had any friends at school much less any one that would rescue me from my home life. I had ones that worried but they had their own things. I walked towards the school knowing I’d have to wake up and go to school in the morning any way.

I lay down on the bench in front of the school and pulled my hoodie closer to my body and let my eyes close desperately trying to ignore my life. Not even being numb was enough anymore. I knew they’d blame me for the fight when I got home the next day and it wasn’t something I could do any more. None of this was livable any further. My name is Kylie and welcome to my life.

In the morning I was woken by the feeling of some one’s hand against my face. I jumped slightly before relaxing realizing it was my friend. The one person I could count on but I didn’t tell him half of went on at my house. I didn’t need his pity. I just needed him here. I slowly opened my eyes and came face to face with his worried hazel eyes.

He was bent down so his face was level with mine. His Soft hand resting on my face a few rings on both hands and a watch on one wrist and a wrist band on the other. A dark leather jacket covered his arms and a black t-shirt under it with his matching black pants. His necklace dancing from his neck and his hair looking like he just rolled out of bed and came to school (which we all know is probably exactly what happened).

“Kylie…”His voice was soft and full of concern as he gently removed his hand away from my face. I groaned slightly as I put both my hands under me and pushed myself into a sitting position on the bench my first instinct was to rub my eyes but I remembered that I had eyeliner on from last night. I knew that I looked like crap compared to him.

I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans a light blue v-neck t-shirt with my pink and blue checkered vest over it and buttoned and then I wore my purple zebra stripped hoodie over it and I had made sure that I’d warn wrist warmer and long fingerless gloves that came to my elbow just in case I got to warm in my hoodie.

“Morning Eli.” I glanced toward my hazel eyed friend who had now moved so he was sitting on the bench with me looking at me the concern was still on his face but it wasn’t as intense as it had been when he was first waking me up.

“What the hell were you doing sleeping on the school bench Kylie?” He slid his fingers through his hair before facing me. I shrugged my shoulders standing up as the bell started to ring signaling it was time for class.

“Nothing?” I looked back at him and he just shook his head standing up slowly before slinging his arm over my shoulder and sighing gently.

“If you needed some place to say you know you can always come crash at my house Ky, Don’t sleep on the bench outside of the school.” He was sincerely worried about me and it was almost kind of startling I hadn’t heard the compassion in any ones voice in a while so to hear it in his made my heart swell a little.

“Thanks Eli, But you know last time I came over I interrupted you and you’re little girlfriends fun time remember?” my nosed scrunched and I shook my head trying not to think about that night a few weeks ago where my parents had been screaming and I just needed a place to sleep before school the next day.

It was about midnight. I had school the next day and the constant screaming in the next room wouldn’t allow me any form of sleep. I let out a soft sigh knowing that there was one place I could go to get away from the noise and just sleep until I needed to wake up the next day. I packed my back pack with clothes for the next day at school and climbed out of my window not caring if my parents noticed I was missing from my bed room.

I walked the ten minutes it took to get to his house from mine. I tightened the back pack strap as I noticed that his bed room light was on. His parents had told me many times its fine no matter when I need to come over I can. I had a key to his house. I pulled the key from my backpack and slid it into the lock pushing the door open I could Hear two people talking towards Eli’s room. Slowly I began to make my way back.

“Eli?” I called softly as I reached his cracked bed room door. I could tell that his parents weren’t home because he always kept it shut when they were home. I pushed the door open without thinking and glanced toward the bed. Eli was laying there his shirt off his arms around his girlfriend’s waist. Her shirt was on the other side of the floor thank god for me her bra was still on. They were having a pretty heavy make out session.

“Oh Eli,” His girlfriend moaned gently from his lap. I could feel my stomach leap into my throat and it almost felt like my heart was being broken. I didn’t understand it. He’s my best friend why should I care if he sleeps with his girlfriend? But for some reason I was more than grossed out by what I just saw I was hurt. I quickly whipped around and slammed his door shut and darting towards the door.

“What the?” I heard Eli shout slightly from behind the closed door as I stopped at the door to catch my breathing not thinking he would come out and investigate where the noise had come from.

“Yeah well you won’t have to worry about me having her over for any late night sessions for the next two weeks?” I raised an eyebrow as we reached my locker opening it and putting my purse into the locker and removing my backpack.

“Why’s that? You two on a break or something for the next two weeks?” I asked as I slung my back pack over my shoulder slyly transferred my razor from my purse to my backpack without Eli seeing.

“No This week she’s grounded and then next week she’s going out of town to visit her parents.” He slid over a few lockers to get his things out of his locker. I couldn’t help but smile maybe one of these nights I could go over and just relax at his house we could have a movie night like we used to. I shut my locker and glanced over to his going to ask him if he would be able to schedule it with me when His girlfriend walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Now don’t get me wrong. The girl was a complete and total sweet heart for the most part, and It was hard to find a reason for me to dislike her but after the last time they fought and she used his friendship with me to threaten him I had decided that was enough reason for me to hate her. I sighed slamming my locker shut and getting both their attention.

“Oh look who decided to show up today…Where are the rest of your clothes?” I snapped looking towards Jennifer who was wearing probably the shortest shorts I’d ever seen. It was rather disgusting I was surprised Eli was with her to be honest.

“Eli, What Did the principal tell you about bringing pets to school?” She smirked as she looked at me as if it was supposed to insult me I just looked to Eli to protect me and he did.

“Jen that’s not funny and she's right where the hell are the rest of your clothes?” He snapped at his girlfriend who just looked at him surprised he’d defended his best friend of 6 years.

“I didn’t have anything clean So I figured since you can’t see me for a while and I know we are going on winter break soon I figured that I’d dress all nice for you today and maybe we can skip class?” Her voice nauseated me. She wanted to wheel him away to the janitor’s closet and have sex with him and he was going to do it too.

“Whatever. I’ll just tell our English teacher you’re still sick Eli. Go have fun with your little whore.” I snapped turning away from the couple as I heard Eli let out a heavy sigh.

“Ky! Wait!” He shouted I stopped half way down the hall way and stood still but refused to turn around and face him.

“Oh come on Eli! We won’t see each other for like the next two weeks and you’re going to blow me off to go to class!?” Jennifer shouted. I rolled my eyes and went to take another step forward before I felt Eli’s hand on my wrist causing me to flinch.

“I’m coming to class with you.” He smiled gently not noticing the grimace on my face from where he was holding my arm. I let out a small laugh and nodded.

“Good because I have a feeling Mrs. Ridenour is going to pair us up for an English project and if you weren’t their I’d end up all by myself.” I smiled gently as I looked toward my best friend. Eli smiled in return and slung his arm back over my shoulder as we made our way to English class.