Four Letter Lie

“Do you have to go?” I whined holding the bed sheets up under my chin trying to make an adorable puppy dog face.

Ricky chuckled softly and smiled with a soft nod “We have to, I’m sorry” he spoke gently.

I sighed deeply “I don’t want to go home”.

Angelo leaned in the doorway, his decorated arms crossed over his chest as he observed the conversation. I really didn’t want to go home as Max was constantly trying to contact me and according to Ronnie and the rest of Escape the Fate he had made frequent visits to my apartment to try to talk to me along with blowing up my phone constantly.

After everything that happened with Max, Ricky and Angelo invited me to stay at their apartment for a week before they headed off on tour. Being with these two and the other members of Motionless in White momentarily made my feelings dilute while I enjoyed a week filled with fun, scaring people and Buffalo wings. Unfortunately today, my favourite boys from Motionless in White had to head off on tour meaning that I had to head back to my empty home.

I rolled effortlessly out of the single bed and carefully made the bed. I quickly made a light breakfast for Ricky and Angelo consisting of bacon, eggs and toast. As we sat down at the table I reflected on how much this group of people meant to me. Ricky, TJ, Chris, Ryan, Angelo and Josh had all become such predominate features of my life, they were basically family to me now and I would do anything for them. This past week proved to me that they felt the same way, I had a group of people I could call home.

Time passed quicker than I had hoped for. Before I knew it I was helping Ricky and Angelo with their luggage as they hauled it onto the RV which had parked on the curb containing the rest of the band. After grabbing my gear from the apartment I painfully said my short-term goodbyes to the boys. Standing on the sidewalk I watched gloomily as the RV drove down the street in the opposite direction.

With a rather large sigh I jumped in my car and made my way home. After a short drive I parked in the driveway and grabbed my bag from the passenger seat before heading inside my glum apartment. Emma had now fully moved in with her boyfriend, this place didn’t feel like home anymore – I had nothing to look forward to here. Memories of the past haunted my thoughts sending my stomach into painful knots.

I chucked my bag into the corner of my bedroom as I felt a vibration in the back pocket of my jeans. I pulled out my phone which indicated on the screen that I had a new text from Ronnie. During this past week Ronnie has secretly visited me multiple times at Angelo and Ricky’s apartment and has basically texted and called me every single day. All the bad blood between us had faded away after that night and that mere fact that he was willingly jeopardising his friendship with Max to continue being one of the best friends I have along with being a large support network.

Hey babe, did you get home okay?

Yeah, just got in. It sucks being here, it brings back memories - and im all alone.

Want me to come over?

You don’t have too, I don’t want you to get in trouble with Max – It’s not worth it hurting you’re friendship with Max just to see me! I’m not worth it.

Shut the fuck up! You are amazing Abigail Emily Williams and I am coming to see you right now!

Hehe, thanks Ronnie. You're the best.

No problem. Oh and also, I’m going to beat your ass for saying that when I get there – be warned!

Oh, im SOOO scared! See you soon Ron :P

I giggled softly and decided to have a shower to waste time in between waiting for Ronnie to arrive. After I had finished my showering routine I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, letting strands of hair frame my face. I was dressed just in time as I heard multiple rasps on the door. The impatient and repetitive rasps continued until I yanked open the front door to be lifted up and embrace in the heavily tattooed arms of Ronnie.

I slipped out of his arms and engulfed him in another hug, his arms sinking around my lower back as I inhaled his perfectly unique scent of cigarettes and some form of cologne. I smiled and led him inside of my apartment. A few steps after I walked past the living room I was wacked in the back of the head with something soft but with some moderate amount of force behind it. I turned around to see Ronnie grinning ear from ear with a pillow in hand. He jiggled it in his decorated hands suggestively with a terrifying grin across his lips.

I screamed and ran around the room as Ronnie chased me, beating me with the pillow. “I told you I was going to give you a beat down!” he yelled jumping over the couch and tackling me to the floor. I giggled uncontrollably as Ronnie repeated sequences of hitting me with the pillow and tickling my ribs and stomach.

Somehow I gained the upper hand and shoved him back before pushing him over onto the floor. I pushed down on his shoulders before straddling his waist above him. “Give up?” I asked with a grin. “Oh hell no!” he replied and with an instant I started messing up his roughly straightened hair before grabbing the pillow beside me and laid into him continuously.

After a few minutes we grew tired of our play fighting and collapsed by each other’s side on the cool flooring. For the rest of the day Ronnie and I hung out in the apartment, ignoring Max’s calls on both mine and Ronnie’s phone. By the messages left Max wanted to know where Ronnie had headed off to in such a rush, he was obviously suspicious he was coming to see me.

I unintentionally felt kind of bad for going behind Max’s back to still hang out with Ronnie even though I knew I shouldn’t have felt any remorse from it. Max had been shady and lied to me continuously about the same issue and as much as I still loved him, being lied and betrayed constantly isn’t healthy for any relationship.

“Go get dressed!” Ronnie randomly blurted out from his position on the lounge.

“What?” I asked confused looking over in his direction.

“I want to go out for dinner, so go get dressed”

“Ronnie, why can’t we just eat here? Get takeout, like Chinese or something?” I said cautiously, I didn’t want to risk the chance of anyone seeing us together and it somehow getting back to Max.

“I’d prefer not eating secretly chopped up cats and dogs thanks” he smirked.

“Ronnie!” I objected in disgust “We can get whatever you want, whatever takeout, it will even be my shout!” I yelled towards him in an attempt to be persuasive.

“Tempting… no”

“RONNIE!” I yelled “WHY CANT WE STAY HERE?!” I whined continuously.

“Because you haven’t been home in a week and I can guarantee there is no decent food in this apartment that is still okay to eat!”

“Shut up” I mumbled barely audibly.

“Come on, move your butt!” Ronnie ordered picking me up from the lounge.

Carrying me bridal style into the bedroom he dumped me on the bed as he searched my multiple chests of draws. Some of Max’s clothes were still here and Ronnie was searching for a change of clothing which would fit him adequately. While waiting for Ron, I raided my cupboards searching for something to wear. It took me half of a fashion parade with Ronnie’s judgement before my outfit was finally settled on and attached to my skin.

Ronnie left different items of Max’s clothing scattered on my bed and around my room. I breathed deeply as I collected up the items, settling them into a neat pile in the corner of my room. I spotted his favourite Marilyn Manson shirt in amongst the clothes, picking it out from the rest I held it to my chest embracing the familiar scent that fluctuated from it. Uncontrollably my eyes watered, I collapsed on the bed, shirt in hand and continue to inhale the recognisable scent of the man I uncontrollably loved.

“Babe…” I heard Ronnie’s sympathetic voice.

I rolled over to look at him; he noticed the tear stains down my face and immediately embraced me with a hug after he wiped away the streaks with his thumb. I was once again hit with the memorable aroma as Ronnie’s body touched mine, his skin embraced with Max’s clothing. “We don’t have to go out if you don’t feel up to it” he mumbled into my hair.

“No, it’s okay. Were dressed now anyway” quietly I replied.

“Come on” Ronnie stood up and pulled me up with him, leading me out the door to his car.

During the car ride I couldn’t control my wondering mind. I smiled softly at the memories of anything that featured Max in it. I remembered when we would drive anywhere, he would always look at me out of the corner of his eye with a cheeky smirk spread across his face or when he would hold my hand and trace delicate circles with his thumb. Everything somehow reminded me of him and what we used to have.

The car came to a steady halt as we arrived out the front of an Italian restaurant Ronnie knew I loved. I smiled at him in appreciation as we headed inside. The man at the front desk guided us to a booth in the back corner of the restaurant, a single luminescent candle lit up the table. We settled in the booth and ordered our meals and drinks which soon arrived at our table.

“Abby…” Ronnie mumbled through a full mouth “Do you still love Max?” he hesitantly asked.

I sighed heavily and nodded slowly “Yes, why?”

“Do you still want to love him?”

“I don’t know. I like the feeling of having someone to love, it’s just with everything that happened I don’t know if I should try and deny my feelings in an attempt to subsidise them”

Ronnie huffed “I want to be there for you all the time, and I will. I hope you know that”

“I do”

“I don’t like the fact that you’re all alone in that apartment of yours. If Max and I didn’t live in the same place I would offer for you to come stay with me”

“Ronnie, I appreciate it but its okay… it’s not like I’m going to jump off the roof or something”

He narrowed his eyes at me “You better not or ill kick your corpse!” he shouted earning awkward stares from around the room.

“Wow thanks!” I giggled.

“Anytime sweet cheeks. But what I’m getting at, I think I’m going to tell Max and the guys that I’m going to spend a few days up at my father’s place when in reality I’m going to come stay with you”

“Ronnie…” I shook my head “I’m fine”

“You may think that, but I want to be sure”

“You’re not going to take no for an answer are you?” I sighed.

“Nope!” he cheered with a grin.

“You’re such a dork” I laughed “When are you starting your secret, extended sleepover at mine?”

“My stuff’s in the boot…”

“RONNIE!” I yelled in disbelief.

“What?” he rolled his eyes “I like to be protected and prepared – don’t be silly, wrap your willy!”