Hold on Tight and Don't Look Back
Two.
I walk in my front door to find a trail of masking tape x’s on the floor leading to the kitchen table. What the hell? My mom must really be losing her mind. I look down at the table to find an envelope. I pick it up and find another envelope lying on the table; I tear off the end of the first envelope and pull out a letter.
My Dearest Alexa,
Your 18th birthday has just passed. My little girl is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it. Although you’ve made your fair share of mistakes you have grown up to be a beautiful, confident, and strong young woman. I’ve been planning your birthday surprise for almost a year now, and it has taken all my strength to not tell you what it is.
I never told you this, but my law partner at the office is Mikey and Gerard Way’s aunt, you know the two boys from the band you love so much. Gosh, I have wanted to tell you this for such a long time. I told her how much you really love their band and how much it would mean for you to get to see them in concert. She called them up and sure enough they were coming here, to St. Louis, on their next tour, but they hadn’t set a date yet. She was able to talk them into coming TONIGHT so you could see them for your birthday.
I am so excited for you to finally get to see them live, I know how much this means to you. I hope you have the best 18th birthday celebration and I hope you have the time of your life.
Love,
Your Mother, xoxoxoxox
P.S. – There’s another surprise for you in the other envelope. Why don’t you open it, I think you’ll like what’s inside. (It’ll also explain why there’s only one ticket to the show).
Oh my God. I have waited for this moment for so long. I don’t know whether I should be mad at my mom for not telling me about this sooner or just be happy. I’ll go with just being happy, how could I not be happy? My hands are shaking from the excitement as I pick up the second envelope. I tear off the end and dump out the contents with my eyes closed. I open my eyes just enough to see what’s in my hand and I quickly close them again out of disbelief. I certainly can’t be holding what I think I am, there’s no way this is a.. I open my eyes again to check.. “BACKSTAGE PASS!” It took me a second to realize I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I was going to meet my favorite band in less than three hours. Nothing could make this day any better.
I held up my backstage pass so the overly large, pugnacious guard at the back doors of the venue would let me in. As I watched his eyes peer down to verify my pass was real I saw the grimace on his face begin to turn into one of those fake “friendly” smiles.
“Right this way,” he said as he opened the door.
I take the first step through the door and the guard directs me to sit and wait on a couch on the other side of the room. It’s obvious the couch has seen some serious damage, the cushion on the left side has several burn holes, probably from cigarettes, and the fabric is extremely tattered. With all the money this place makes from concerts you’d think they could afford a new couch. The middle of the couch looks to be the least threatening out of all the positions, and the cleanest, so I decide to sit down like the guard instructed. I don’t think I want to be on his bad side. He could crush me faster than a bus crushing a car. I cross my legs and look around the room like I’m important in an effort to not feel so out of place. People are running around like crazy and to be honest it scares the hell out of me.
Disorganization and chaos are two things I can’t stand. In case you lack common sense, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m pretty nervous right about now. Do I look dumb just sitting here? What do I even begin to say to them? My head is spinning in a thousand different directions coming up with questions I will never be able to answer. Everything is suddenly, extraordinarily quiet for a moment, and I hear a familiar voice talking in the distance.
“I can’t wait to meet this chick, she sounds tight as hell,” the voice says.
What bugs me, is that the voice sounds a lot like Gerard’s but, I know it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. There’s no way he’s actually excited to meet me. Compared to him, I’m a no body. I can hear the footsteps gradually getting closer, I look up and see four shadows coming down the hallway. Maybe it really is them, I think to myself. Gerard, Frank, Ray, and Mikey emerge from the hallway with smiling faces.
“Hey what’s up? It’s nice to finally meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you,” Gerard says.
“Wow, have you really?” I say in shock as I stand up to greet them.
“Oh yeah, our aunt talks about you non-stop. How great you are with music, how pretty you are, and just how much of a wonderful person you are.”
“How does she..”
“Oh, you don’t know. Our aunt works with your mom, she’s your mom’s best friend, Jenna.”
“Jenna is.. No way.. How could I have not known this all this time..”
“She didn’t want you to know, she wanted this day to be as special for you as possible,”
Gerard smiled as he laughed at his little secret.
The guys were all standing in a line and I walked from one to the next, politely introducing myself, trying to hide how nervous I really was. Mikey has always been my favorite band member, and luckily he was last in line. At least I could let it sink in that he was actually in the same room as me before I got to him.
“Hi Lexi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Mikey said with a glowing smile.
“How do you know I go by Lexi?”
“Aunt Jenna.” Mikey laughed.
“But I didn’t think she knew that.” I was still confused. I don’t ever remember telling Jenna I like it when people call me Lexi, especially guys. I wonder how much my mom has told Jenna behind my back. Oh dear.
“Why don’t we all sit down? I’m not feeling like standing right now,” Gerard laughed and took a seat at the table next to the couch, Ray followed suit. Mikey and Frank sat down on opposite ends of the couch. I know it really doesn’t mean anything, but it’s sure making me happy I get to sit by Mikey. Gosh, I’m a nut job.
“I , uh, have something for you guys.” I wasn’t sure how accepting of presents they would be, but whatever, it was worth a shot.
“REALLY?!” Frank was entirely too excited, but his enthusiasm calmed me down.
“Yes,,” I laughed. “I made them myself.”
I reached into my purse and pulled out a plastic container. I took of the lid, revealing four perfectly constructed devils food cupcakes with a perfectly piped, light and airy butter cream frosting. To top it all off, each one has a handcrafted marshmallow fondant revolver to match the famous guns from the “Revenge” attire. Each gun had MCR written on it with decorating gel. Honestly, they were some of the best cupcakes I’ve ever made. And those guns took me freaking forever.
“Holy shit,” Gerard said. “How the fuck did you do that?” He honestly looked shell shocked. And I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to laugh or be serious. I laughed anyways. What’s the point in being fake?
“With a lot of hard work, and baking skills. Baking is one of my favorite things to do, I find it easy to be expressive with baked good.”
“That’s really cool,” Mikey chimed in. “These are so lifelike, just miniature.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was going for. I wasn’t sure if you guys liked cupcakes, especially chocolate chocolate cupcakes, but I figured who doesn’t like chocolate?”
“Oh, we love chocolate,” Ray smiled. “And by the way, can I eat this?”
“No, Ray you can’t She spent hours baking these damn cupcakes. Do you really think we’re supposed to eat them? No, we’re supposed to let them disintegrate,” Frank was smiling.
“Shut up, you asshole.”
“You can eat them,” I smiled. “But first, can I take a picture of you guys with them?”
“Oh, of course! Actually can we get a copy of it, these are badass.” Gerard threw his phone at me for me to take a picture.
“No, wait. You should be in on it, too. Let me go get someone to take the picture,” Gerard disappeared down the hallway.
“Don’t mind him, he’s a tad bit disorganized,” Mikey said. I smiled back, hoping for the best.
“I’m back!” Gerard announced as he entered the room.
He grabbed his phone and my camera and handed it to the woman he brought back with him. We assembled ourselves in a line, Me, Frank, Mikey Gerard, and Ray.
“Uhm no, you need to come stand here in between Mikey and Gerard,” Frank said. I complied with his request, even though I don’t get what the big deal is. This is all starting to get just a little odd, but oh well, it’s still the best day ever. The flash went off twice, the pictures were done, and Ray immediately devoured his cupcake. I guess he really liked it.
“Hey, Lex, we’re sending a runner for coffee. To Starbucks, to be exact. We always have a preshow coffee. Want any?” Gerard asked.
“Oh, sure, can I get a White Chocolate Mocha?” I asked.
“Sure thing!” He smiled. “It should be here soon,”
I reached into my bag and grabbed my wallet. I took out a five dollar bill, got up, and walked over to where Gerard was talking to the girl I was assuming was the coffee runner.
“Here, this is for my coffee,” I said as I handed Gerard the money.
“Oh, no, no you keep that. Don’t even worry about it,” he smiled.
“Oh," I said. "Well thank you, I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, it’s our pleasure.” He smiled again.
I always feel bad when people buy me things, but there was no way I was going to argue with Gerard Way, that just sounds preposterous.
It seems like it was less than five minutes ago when I got here, and it’s already time for the show to begin. The guys told me to watch the show from side stage, as I’d get a better view, and probably have more fun. They let me stay and watch their pre show rituals, like the classic 80 jumping jacks, and we walked towards the stage together. I’m not sure why, but it took all of my strength to stop walking and not walk onto the stage with them. God, that would have been embarrassing.
I stand on the side of the stage mesmerized by the presence the guys take on the stage. I’ve never seen a show this good. They’re completely in sync, like nothing could go wrong. Gerard has everyone in the audience completely focused on him, and it’s become extremely evident why they’ve come as far as they have. They just keep playing and the energy is so high you could probably run a car off of it.
“We have a very special guest here tonight, celebrating her 18th birthday,” I hear Gerard say on the microphone.
Oh dear God what is he about to do…I thought to myself.
“She’s a friend of mine and Mikey’s aunt, and she’s quickly becoming a friend of ours, Lexi come on out here,” He smiled towards me.
Frank walked over and did a hand motion urging me to step out on the stage. I could sense every eye in the audience on me. It’s not like I asked for this, but it feels like they’re burning a hole in my skin. The lights are bright and I can barely see a thing. I walk over towards Gerard and he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. He holds the microphone up close to his face and begins to sing “Happy Birthday.” His soft, melodic voice makes that song beautiful, and I’m not really sure what to do. All I know is I’m smiling as big as a kid on Christmas morning.
My Dearest Alexa,
Your 18th birthday has just passed. My little girl is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it. Although you’ve made your fair share of mistakes you have grown up to be a beautiful, confident, and strong young woman. I’ve been planning your birthday surprise for almost a year now, and it has taken all my strength to not tell you what it is.
I never told you this, but my law partner at the office is Mikey and Gerard Way’s aunt, you know the two boys from the band you love so much. Gosh, I have wanted to tell you this for such a long time. I told her how much you really love their band and how much it would mean for you to get to see them in concert. She called them up and sure enough they were coming here, to St. Louis, on their next tour, but they hadn’t set a date yet. She was able to talk them into coming TONIGHT so you could see them for your birthday.
I am so excited for you to finally get to see them live, I know how much this means to you. I hope you have the best 18th birthday celebration and I hope you have the time of your life.
Love,
Your Mother, xoxoxoxox
P.S. – There’s another surprise for you in the other envelope. Why don’t you open it, I think you’ll like what’s inside. (It’ll also explain why there’s only one ticket to the show).
Oh my God. I have waited for this moment for so long. I don’t know whether I should be mad at my mom for not telling me about this sooner or just be happy. I’ll go with just being happy, how could I not be happy? My hands are shaking from the excitement as I pick up the second envelope. I tear off the end and dump out the contents with my eyes closed. I open my eyes just enough to see what’s in my hand and I quickly close them again out of disbelief. I certainly can’t be holding what I think I am, there’s no way this is a.. I open my eyes again to check.. “BACKSTAGE PASS!” It took me a second to realize I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I was going to meet my favorite band in less than three hours. Nothing could make this day any better.
I held up my backstage pass so the overly large, pugnacious guard at the back doors of the venue would let me in. As I watched his eyes peer down to verify my pass was real I saw the grimace on his face begin to turn into one of those fake “friendly” smiles.
“Right this way,” he said as he opened the door.
I take the first step through the door and the guard directs me to sit and wait on a couch on the other side of the room. It’s obvious the couch has seen some serious damage, the cushion on the left side has several burn holes, probably from cigarettes, and the fabric is extremely tattered. With all the money this place makes from concerts you’d think they could afford a new couch. The middle of the couch looks to be the least threatening out of all the positions, and the cleanest, so I decide to sit down like the guard instructed. I don’t think I want to be on his bad side. He could crush me faster than a bus crushing a car. I cross my legs and look around the room like I’m important in an effort to not feel so out of place. People are running around like crazy and to be honest it scares the hell out of me.
Disorganization and chaos are two things I can’t stand. In case you lack common sense, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m pretty nervous right about now. Do I look dumb just sitting here? What do I even begin to say to them? My head is spinning in a thousand different directions coming up with questions I will never be able to answer. Everything is suddenly, extraordinarily quiet for a moment, and I hear a familiar voice talking in the distance.
“I can’t wait to meet this chick, she sounds tight as hell,” the voice says.
What bugs me, is that the voice sounds a lot like Gerard’s but, I know it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. There’s no way he’s actually excited to meet me. Compared to him, I’m a no body. I can hear the footsteps gradually getting closer, I look up and see four shadows coming down the hallway. Maybe it really is them, I think to myself. Gerard, Frank, Ray, and Mikey emerge from the hallway with smiling faces.
“Hey what’s up? It’s nice to finally meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you,” Gerard says.
“Wow, have you really?” I say in shock as I stand up to greet them.
“Oh yeah, our aunt talks about you non-stop. How great you are with music, how pretty you are, and just how much of a wonderful person you are.”
“How does she..”
“Oh, you don’t know. Our aunt works with your mom, she’s your mom’s best friend, Jenna.”
“Jenna is.. No way.. How could I have not known this all this time..”
“She didn’t want you to know, she wanted this day to be as special for you as possible,”
Gerard smiled as he laughed at his little secret.
The guys were all standing in a line and I walked from one to the next, politely introducing myself, trying to hide how nervous I really was. Mikey has always been my favorite band member, and luckily he was last in line. At least I could let it sink in that he was actually in the same room as me before I got to him.
“Hi Lexi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Mikey said with a glowing smile.
“How do you know I go by Lexi?”
“Aunt Jenna.” Mikey laughed.
“But I didn’t think she knew that.” I was still confused. I don’t ever remember telling Jenna I like it when people call me Lexi, especially guys. I wonder how much my mom has told Jenna behind my back. Oh dear.
“Why don’t we all sit down? I’m not feeling like standing right now,” Gerard laughed and took a seat at the table next to the couch, Ray followed suit. Mikey and Frank sat down on opposite ends of the couch. I know it really doesn’t mean anything, but it’s sure making me happy I get to sit by Mikey. Gosh, I’m a nut job.
“I , uh, have something for you guys.” I wasn’t sure how accepting of presents they would be, but whatever, it was worth a shot.
“REALLY?!” Frank was entirely too excited, but his enthusiasm calmed me down.
“Yes,,” I laughed. “I made them myself.”
I reached into my purse and pulled out a plastic container. I took of the lid, revealing four perfectly constructed devils food cupcakes with a perfectly piped, light and airy butter cream frosting. To top it all off, each one has a handcrafted marshmallow fondant revolver to match the famous guns from the “Revenge” attire. Each gun had MCR written on it with decorating gel. Honestly, they were some of the best cupcakes I’ve ever made. And those guns took me freaking forever.
“Holy shit,” Gerard said. “How the fuck did you do that?” He honestly looked shell shocked. And I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to laugh or be serious. I laughed anyways. What’s the point in being fake?
“With a lot of hard work, and baking skills. Baking is one of my favorite things to do, I find it easy to be expressive with baked good.”
“That’s really cool,” Mikey chimed in. “These are so lifelike, just miniature.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was going for. I wasn’t sure if you guys liked cupcakes, especially chocolate chocolate cupcakes, but I figured who doesn’t like chocolate?”
“Oh, we love chocolate,” Ray smiled. “And by the way, can I eat this?”
“No, Ray you can’t She spent hours baking these damn cupcakes. Do you really think we’re supposed to eat them? No, we’re supposed to let them disintegrate,” Frank was smiling.
“Shut up, you asshole.”
“You can eat them,” I smiled. “But first, can I take a picture of you guys with them?”
“Oh, of course! Actually can we get a copy of it, these are badass.” Gerard threw his phone at me for me to take a picture.
“No, wait. You should be in on it, too. Let me go get someone to take the picture,” Gerard disappeared down the hallway.
“Don’t mind him, he’s a tad bit disorganized,” Mikey said. I smiled back, hoping for the best.
“I’m back!” Gerard announced as he entered the room.
He grabbed his phone and my camera and handed it to the woman he brought back with him. We assembled ourselves in a line, Me, Frank, Mikey Gerard, and Ray.
“Uhm no, you need to come stand here in between Mikey and Gerard,” Frank said. I complied with his request, even though I don’t get what the big deal is. This is all starting to get just a little odd, but oh well, it’s still the best day ever. The flash went off twice, the pictures were done, and Ray immediately devoured his cupcake. I guess he really liked it.
“Hey, Lex, we’re sending a runner for coffee. To Starbucks, to be exact. We always have a preshow coffee. Want any?” Gerard asked.
“Oh, sure, can I get a White Chocolate Mocha?” I asked.
“Sure thing!” He smiled. “It should be here soon,”
I reached into my bag and grabbed my wallet. I took out a five dollar bill, got up, and walked over to where Gerard was talking to the girl I was assuming was the coffee runner.
“Here, this is for my coffee,” I said as I handed Gerard the money.
“Oh, no, no you keep that. Don’t even worry about it,” he smiled.
“Oh," I said. "Well thank you, I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, it’s our pleasure.” He smiled again.
I always feel bad when people buy me things, but there was no way I was going to argue with Gerard Way, that just sounds preposterous.
It seems like it was less than five minutes ago when I got here, and it’s already time for the show to begin. The guys told me to watch the show from side stage, as I’d get a better view, and probably have more fun. They let me stay and watch their pre show rituals, like the classic 80 jumping jacks, and we walked towards the stage together. I’m not sure why, but it took all of my strength to stop walking and not walk onto the stage with them. God, that would have been embarrassing.
I stand on the side of the stage mesmerized by the presence the guys take on the stage. I’ve never seen a show this good. They’re completely in sync, like nothing could go wrong. Gerard has everyone in the audience completely focused on him, and it’s become extremely evident why they’ve come as far as they have. They just keep playing and the energy is so high you could probably run a car off of it.
“We have a very special guest here tonight, celebrating her 18th birthday,” I hear Gerard say on the microphone.
Oh dear God what is he about to do…I thought to myself.
“She’s a friend of mine and Mikey’s aunt, and she’s quickly becoming a friend of ours, Lexi come on out here,” He smiled towards me.
Frank walked over and did a hand motion urging me to step out on the stage. I could sense every eye in the audience on me. It’s not like I asked for this, but it feels like they’re burning a hole in my skin. The lights are bright and I can barely see a thing. I walk over towards Gerard and he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. He holds the microphone up close to his face and begins to sing “Happy Birthday.” His soft, melodic voice makes that song beautiful, and I’m not really sure what to do. All I know is I’m smiling as big as a kid on Christmas morning.