This Moment was Held for Me

“You what!?!” Amanda shouted at me.
I giggled, “You heard me.”
I had just finished telling Amanda what happened between Frank and I on Thursday. We were in the school car park. For once, I was thankful that I had gotten to school early. I had a lot to tell Amanda.
Her mouth still hung open. Slowly she closed it and gulped, “I can’t believe you guys did it! I mean, good for you, but I completely didn’t expect that.”
My smile dropped slightly, “Why’s it so unexpected?”
Amanda spoke cautiously, “I guess because you guys aren’t a couple. I just thought you’d wait.”
I shrugged, “I doubt he cares whether we’re a couple or not. Besides, I really don’t think being a full on couple would be a good idea. It’s too complicated.”
She sighed in understanding, “Yeah it sounds pretty complicated with all your Mom’s rules.”
I looked at her darkly, “It’s fucking ridiculous.”
“So what are you going to do?” she asked.
“About…?”
She shrugged, “About Frank. You’ve slept with him. That automatically makes you’re more than friends. But you don’t want to have a boyfriend. So what are you two?”
I sighed and put my head in my hands, “That’s what I keep asking myself.”
She put a comforting hand on my shoulder, “Don’t worry Mia, you guys will figure it out.”
I looked up at her, “Thanks. You think Frank will mind if we don’t become a couple?”
Amanda frowned thoughtfully, “But I thought you liked him? Don’t you wanna be a couple?”
I bit my lip, “Of course I do. I really like him. But I just don’t want all those rules. We can still see each other and do…stuff,” I trailed off suggestively, “But I don’t want to call him my boyfriend or for him to call me his girlfriend because then I’d have to tell Mom. I really don’t wanna lie to her again as well.”
Amanda sighed, “It’s your call. I think you’ll have to talk to Frank.”
I sighed and looked across the school yard. I was suddenly jealous of all the teenagers around me. They had freedom to kiss, date and be with whoever they wanted. I clearly did not.

That afternoon I walked out the school gates and headed in the direction of the comic book store. I had a short shift but was still looking forward to seeing Gerard. I wonder if Frank had told him what we did..
Suddenly someone tapped my shoulder and brought me out of my thoughts. I turned around to see the face of Frank. He was grinning at me so hard that his eyes had shut and his teeth were on show.
“Hi…” I said uneasily. I was feeling pretty anxious about the whole ‘boyfriend’ or ‘not boyfriend’ situation.
Frank continued to grin at me madly but when I didn’t say anything further he slowly opened his eyes and pouted at me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, still pouting.
I smiled at him, not wanting to discuss my thoughts just yet, “Nothing.”
He looked at me suspiciously before shrugging and smiling again, “Okay.”
“What’re you doing here?” I asked.
He grinned again, “Walking you to work.”
“How’d you know I have a shift?”
“Gee told me.”
Looks like Frank had spoken to Gerard since last night. I bet that Frank told Gerard.
“Oh,” I said, “Okay then.”
Frank smiled and leaned forward to he could quickly kiss the tip of my nose, “I’m happy to see you,” he said.
I laced my fingers with his, “Me too Frankie.”
I then realized what really mattered. As much as I would like Frank to be my boyfriend, it wasn’t ultimately about that. What’s important is our feelings. We were happy to be with each other. So why complicate it with labels? I smiled feeling a little bit more reassured. I would talk to Frank about this, if I needed to. But I’d be surprised if he even brought it up. I was positive that any boy would be happy with a loose arrangement like ours.

“Hey lovebirds,” Gerard sung as we entered the comic book store. Frank rubbed his neck nervously and absorbed himself in the comic books. I sighed with the knowledge that Frank had obviously told Gerard about Thursday night.
Regardless, I smiled at Gerard, “Hey Gee. Good to see you.”
He came around from the counter to give me a cup of coffee and a hug, “We’ve got to talk,” he sneakily whispered in my ear as he gripped me into an embrace.
I gave him a face before turning back around to Frank.
“Well, I better let you get to work,” Frank said with his hands in his pockets.
“Okay, well, I’ll call you later?” I said awkwardly. I didn’t know if he wanted me to call him or whether that was too much of a ‘girlfriend’ thing to do.
He smiled eagerly, “I’d like that.”
He gave me a kiss on the lips before exiting the store.
Gerard sighed girlishly as he leant against the counter. He folded his arms, “So…Mia…” he began, “What’s up? What’s new? What’s the goss?” he said.
I rolled my eyes, “Fuck you. I can tell that you know what happened.”
He looked at me innocently, “What happened? Whadd’ya mean? Something happen, Mia?”
I laughed this time at Gerard’s theatrics, “I can see right through your innocent act. Did Frank tell you, or did you coax it out of him?”
Gerard grinned and rubbed his knuckles against his chest, “I have my ways of persuasion.”
I sighed, “Gerard! That’s supposed to be private knowledge.”
He smiled at me; this time more seriously, “I won’t tell anyone Mia. But we’re bosom buddies, remember?”
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, how could I forget that lame phrase?”
Gerard ignored me and went on, “So Frank really likes you.”
“Is that so?” I said casually taking a sip of my coffee.
“Do you like him?”
I looked up at Gerard, “Of course I like him,” I was hurt to think that Gerard thought I’d sleep with someone I didn’t really like, “I really like him.”
Gerard smiled with satisfaction, “Good, then it’s sorted,” he pointed up into the air like a military leader “you two are officially a couple!”
“What?!” I said with surprise, “You can’t just decide that!”
Gerard’s face dropped, his hand sunk back down to his side, “Well, why wouldn’t you be?”
I shrugged, “I dunno. But it’s something Frankie and I have to work out,” I said softly, “It’s probably not the best idea. I’d rather keep it casual and not define us.”
“Casual?” Gerard said incredulously, “That’s fucked up.”
“Excuse me?”
“Imagine if Frankie fucked you and then was like, Nah, let’s just keep it casual,” Gerard explained, “Don’t you think you’d be a bit hurt? Maybe even angry at the fact that he can’t commit to you?”
I frowned with thought, “It’s not that I don’t want to commit to him. It’s just really complicated.”
Gerard sighed, “Listen. Amanda’s already called me and explained about your mother. I know that’s why you don’t want to date Frank.”
I looked up at him with embarrassment. I really didn’t want any of the guys to know about my mother’s controlling ways. They’d think I was sheltered or uptight which is the complete opposite of their own group dynamic. I didn’t want them to think I didn’t fit in.
“Fuck,” I cursed, “Why would she tell you that?”
“She wanted to help,” Gerard shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. You should tell Frank. It’s your Mom that’s being weird, not you.”
“Did you tell Frank?” I said urgently.
Gerard laughed, “I’m not that invasive.”
I sighed with relief, “Good. Please don’t tell him. I really don’t want him to think I come from this uptight, frigid family.”
Gerard looked me up and down, “I doubt he’d think you’re frigid.”
I gasped at him with mock horror and put on a fake South Carolina accent, “Gerard Way! Are you implying that I’m a harlot?”
Gerard giggled at me.
“Well I’m not,” I said pouting.
He smiled, “I know I know. But I’m worried; I think Frank is going to be hurt.”
I laughed, “Gerard, he’s not going to be. Boys like relationships that are casual. I just don’t even want to bring it up with him. If he asks me about it, I deal with it then,” I said before explaining my epiphany, “But for the moment, we’re just happy being together and that’s what counts.”
Gerard rolled his eyes, “Whatever, kiddo. Don’t come crying to me when he’s upset.”
“He’s not that much of a pansy,” I muttered to myself before heading out to the back room to do some work.

After work, I said goodbye to Gerard and pushed open the comic book store door.
“Hello!” Frank said as he sprung off the sidewalk bench seat he was sitting on to greet me.
“Hi!” I said with surprise, “You’re still here?”
He grinned and shrugged, “I had some stuff to do but wanted to come back to walk you home.”
I smiled, “Well aren’t you sweet?”
He grabbed me strongly around the waist and pulled me in for a hug.
“What was that for?”
Frank looked at me quizzically, “You sure you’re okay? You seem kind of strange today,” he said, still holding me around the waist.
I sighed and looked into his eyes, “I’m fine.”
He stared back for a moment before slowly saying, “Are you...regretting anything?”
“No no!” I said quickly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I continued, “I’m glad about..that. Trust me.”
He smiled at me and brought his head closer for a kiss, “Good, I’m really glad too.”