How to Get Rid of Your Ex Girlfriend

“They just need to get used to it,” I said consolingly. “It’s a lot to get through your head. It was hard for me, I’m sure it’ll be hard for them too.”

Tyler raised his eyebrows sarcastically, putting on an innocent, inquisitive look. “Really? It was hard for you? I couldn’t tell at all.”

“Shut up, Adams.” I shoved him lightly and laughed. “Let’s get inside, it’s cold.”

He staggered to the side a little, but made no move to push me back. “Actually, it was hard for me too. That whole time we were fake dating, I mean. I knew I liked you – I liked you a lot, actually, you’re the reason I broke up with Sophie. I kind of started realizing…it only really came to me two weeks before we broke up. I was kissing her, but I was thinking of you.”

Something sparked in my mind. Hadn’t Sophie said something about Tyler telling her he was in love with me? “So it wasn’t strategic planning?”

“No, dumbass. I’d liked you for so long, but I didn’t think you felt the same way. Then Sophie got all stalker-ish. I figured I could solve both of those problems by asking you to pretend to be my boyfriend – I had my hopes that you might be gay. See, I know you play sports and all, but you’ve never had good chemistry with girls.”

“Are you joking me? I got around.”

Tyler grinned at this. “Did you ever really like any of them? Did you feel any ‘sparks’?” He made air quotes around his head. This was probably to illustrate his rejection of teen romance literature – in Twilight and all those, the main characters were always talking about “sparks flying”. I never really got how that expression made sense. What was it supposed to be igniting?

Oh. Romance, right. Now I feel stupid.

“I’ve felt the sparks,” I said truthfully, smiling a little slyly.

He laughed. “Was it with me?”

I didn’t answer this, merely grinned and caught his hazel eyes with mine.

“It was me.”

“No it wasn’t,” I teased.

“Okay, I’ll play your game. Who, then?”

“Winston from lacrosse. But I dismissed it, telling myself I was admiring him for his lax skills, and that’s why I kept looking at him and getting nervous around when we were close. Now that I think back…I might have had a small crush on him.”

Tyler looked affronted. “When was this? You should have told me, then I could have told you that you were gay and we could have avoided all the trouble.”

“Last season.” I shrugged, stuffing my hands into my pockets and rocking back and forth a little. I was starting to get seriously cold. “And I told you, I thought it was just admiration.”

He snorted. “You are the definition of clueless.”

“Thanks?”

“You have NO idea how hard it really was for me. I didn’t know whether you were gay or not, or if you were, if you even liked me. Every time we held hands or cuddled or-” He cut off suddenly and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I just…I never knew if you meant it or not, and all the hopeless wondering was fucking k-k-killing me.”

For a moment, I wondered whether he was stuttering because he was upset or because he was cold, but then I realized it didn’t really matter. I pulled him gently into my arms, letting him rest his head against my neck. “I’m really sorry.”

“That’s exactly what you said before.” He laughed, sounding a little choked. “Except you also told me I was beautiful and electrifying. And that you loved me and you couldn’t live without me.”

“This was when I was drunk, right?”

“When else would you say something like that?” he asked dryly.

I hugged him tighter, burying my face into his hair and hoping he couldn’t tell I was flushed. “Did I really? God, that’s so embarrassing.”

“Nah, I liked it.” I felt him grin against my shoulder.

“That’s weird, though,” I muttered, thinking back. “I remember most of that night, but I had no idea all that happened.”

“There was more? I was under the impression that we got drunk and I broke down…and then I remember falling asleep. But that’s it.”

I wondered if he could feel my face burning through his hair. “That was not all that happened. I remember something else…”

“What?”

“Do I have to say it?”

He dug his chin into my shoulder blade, making me flinch slightly. “Yes!”

“Fine. Here’s what I thought happened: we got drunk, we made out, we fell asleep. Then the next day, you wouldn’t talk to me, and I thought I’d gone too far and you were rejecting me...”

“What? I thought you were rejecting ME. I thought you were the one who told the whole school the truth, because you got weirded out by our un-drunk kiss and didn’t like me back. But then I saw the note, and I figured I’d use it to make you jealous and show you what you were missing…see, I knew Christopher liked me. He’s been openly gay since middle school, and he’s always hanging around me.”

“How come you didn’t recognize my handwriting?” I asked indignantly.

“I honestly wasn’t thinking about that at all,” he admitted. “There was so much on my mind.”

My arms dropped, and in response, his did too as he looked at me with slight confusion.
“We need to go inside,” I explained. “It’s kind of fucking freezing out here.”

He laughed and took my hand, hair a little ruffled now. It was sticking up in the back in an adorable way that made me smile and feel a little fluttery. “Let’s.”

One of my favorite feelings in the world is the rush of sudden, relieving warmth that floods through you when you step inside after being out in the cold for a while. The colder you are, the better it is. You’re so warm inside, but your skin stays pleasantly cool. The feeling is right up there with the windy air after a spring storm, sleeping in on a school day, and kissing Tyler.

I sighed happily as we reached our room, shrugged off our jackets, and collapsed together onto my bed. Truthfully, I was kind of happy Tyler’s parents were taking his sexuality the hard way. I got to spend this night with him, didn’t I? Everything finally made sense for a change. I hoped things would stay this way, because it felt damn great not to have to think anymore. I should add that to my list of wonderful feelings.

Tyler kicked off his shoes, his face lifted and his eyes sparkling slightly. “Fischer…just…I just want you to know…I’m really happy right now.”

“So am I, believe me. And I want you to know something too…I meant all that. You’re like a Pikachu. Adorable, electrifying, loveable, helpful, kind. A great friend and someone to love. That’s why everyone wants a Pikachu. I’m just really lucky to have one.”

“Really?” He laughed slightly, grabbing my arm and pulling me down onto my back. “I compare you to an IPhone, and you compare me to Pikachu? Really, Fischer, really?”

I pulled the covers down over us, turning onto my side so I could look at him properly. Have I mentioned I like looking at him? “I meant it all. I really couldn’t live without you…” My voice trailed away as we shared a quiet moment of staring into each others’ eyes. But we didn’t kiss. We just entwined our fingers and lay there, unable to stop smiling.

“I couldn’t live without you either, and you know that,” he said quietly, moving his head a little closer to mine. His black hair cut a sharp contrast against the white pillow, making every rare unruly strand seem all the more noticeable.

My eyes flicked back to his. “I love you.”

“I love you too…”

And we fell asleep just like that, fully dressed, heads inclined together and fingers entwined, little smiles on our faces.