*** Me Alone - Room Nine

A few days had passed, and today was our first concert. Gosh, I was so nervous about all this! And Frank and Gee were as well, because it’d be the first time they’d see the fans since they’d told them the truth about their lives; I haven’t told them, but I had been to one of the fan sites, to check up on what the other fans were thinking, and they weren’t mad at all! I just wanted to surprise them, I think.
- What if no one shows up? – Frank asked me, as we cuddled in our hotel bed, waiting for someone to come and call us for the sound check.
As amazing and weird as it seems, me and Frank hadn’t had sex, yet. I guess we were both waiting for a special time… or maybe Frank was afraid that I’d think our relationship we’d be based on sex. I’m only saying this, because it’s exactly what I feel; I think that, if we have sex just now, Frank will think I only want him for the sex, when the case isn’t that. I mean, he surely is a fucking amazing animal in bed, but I want more than sex with him. I wanna cuddle with him, hug him, laugh with him, kiss him, marry him, live with him, have kids with him, grow old with him, and eventually die with him. Call me a futuristic, but I really like to think we’ll get that far. I mean, in nine fucking years my love for him hasn’t changed a bit, why would it change now?
That brought me back to another topic; was this feeling really love? I mean, I thought about him during nine years straight, I never had a boyfriend or any kind of contact with boys [and girls, if I might add] beside him, and I still have this kind of bats moving on my belly each time I see him, talk to him, touch him, or kiss him. It’s like I’m addicted to him, ‘cause I can’t fucking stand to imagine how my life would be without him. I can’t even think about the possibility of us splitting up and going our separate ways. Does that mean I’m in love with him? Does that mean I love him?
- Is anyone there? Earth calling Tany… Are you okay, baby-doll? – Frank asked me, snapping his fingers in front of my face, making me look at him, smiling.
- I’m perfectly fine, love – I told him, peeking on his lips. – Just thinking about the future – I confessed, getting even more comfortable on his arms.
- I think about the future a lot of times, too – he told me, as he looked over to the ceiling above us. – You wanna know what I see in it?
I caressed his face, and passed my fingers through his lips, missing the feeling of his lip piercing, but not wanting to tell him, so that we wouldn’t change the subject.
- Of course I do, baby – I told him, honestly; I was sincerely curious about his vision of the future.
- I see you, cuddling with me like we are now, but a tiny bit older. I see our kids running around the house, and the guys playing with them while we have a little privacy. I see us older, and our babies now graduating. I see them marrying. I see our life past by happily, as we love each other as much as we do now. I see us making our vowels 50 years after we marry. I see us together.
His whole future thing had been really touching, but one thing had gotten really into me: “as we love each other as much as we do now”…
- Does that mean you love me? – I asked him, catching him out of guard.
- I mean, there’s no other word to describe how I feel towards you; despite I think loving you is not enough, but I can’t find another way to tell you. I’ve already told you that I loved you, why are you asking now? – He asked, moving a tiny bit so that he could look at me properly; I bit my lip, analyzing his facial expression, and got to the conclusion that he was a tiny bit hurt, but mostly confused by my question.
- I was just wondering… I didn’t know exactly if I loved you already, and then my mind just got a bit… I don’t know – I told him honestly. I felt him tense around me, and saw as his face showed his sadness.
- You don’t know if you love me? – He asked, obviously hurt by what I said. My eyes grew wide as he tried to move away, and I held him closer to me.
- I used the past tense, Frankie. I didn’t know if I loved you, but I know now. I can only love you; what’s there not to love? You are beautiful, your soul is unique, your heart is caring, you love me… I mean, your heart is mine, after all. How can I not love that? I love every single piece that has to do with you; your eyes, your giggles, your emotions, your love declarations, your songs… I just love you – I told him, more sure than I’ve ever been when saying something.
He looked at me for a while, and then, surprising me, kissed me. It wasn’t a rough kiss, like most guys would do on this situation [considering we were laying on a bed, cuddling with each other]; actually, he kissed me gently, not pressuring nothing, just ghosting his lips over mine. I caressed his face as we did so, and we were so… involved in that sweet kiss, we didn’t even notice when someone opened the door. We didn’t notice as well when someone took a picture of us kissing. We only noticed when Gee made his girly scream, and clapped girlishly, smiling widely.
- You two are so cute together – he then stated, as both me and Frank looked at him, surprised, but mostly, a tiny bit scared.
- Gee, what the fuck was that? – Frank asked, one of his eyebrows raising with confusion. – You sounded like a fucking girl!
- Hey! – I told him, patting his shoulder jokingly.
- Sorry, baby – he said, and then looked over to Gee again. – Now, seriously. You sounded like you’re gay… - The minute Frank said that, Gee got this guilty look on his face, that both Frank and I could obviously see. – Are you gay, Gerard?
Gerard didn’t answer for a tiny bit too long, which made Frank come to his own conclusion; out of nowhere, Frank burst out laughing, and Gee got a confused, still hurt, look on his face.
I punched Frank on the shoulder, this time hardly, and got up from the bed, while talking to him.
- Good way to go, Iero! – I told him, and then went to hug Gerard, who seemed very hurt by Frank’s laugh; I could tell I was pretty mad at him, either. I never knew he was a fucking mocker.
- No, no, no! You didn’t understand! – He told me, getting up as well. – Is just that… Gee, I’ve already knew that. I mean, you were way too sassy after all; and I just kinda started laughing because of your face, nothing else! I want you to know that I’ll totally support you with this, ‘cause man, you know I’m bisexual myself. How could I even judge you? You’re my best friend, Gee – Frank said, and I could feel his honesty fill the room, as I hugged Gerard.
Me and Gerard kept hugging each other for, like, two seconds, until two more arms surrounded us.
- You are the two people I love the most; don’t ever doubt that. Any of you – Frank said to us, and I smiled slightly, just like Gee did.
- Would you beat me if I told you that I was gay when we used to kiss on stage, and stuff? – Gerard asked Frank, letting us go so that he could take his red hair out of his face.
- Nope; I kinda liked it, so, yeah, nothing will happen – Frank said, and I looked at him, pretending to be really jealous. – But it’s good if you know that I won’t do that again, Gee; I already have Tany – Frank continued, kinda nervous, afraid that he’d hurt Gerard’s feelings.
- Why, that hurt me a lot, Iero – Gerard said, as he faked a hurt look.
Frank bit his bottom lip, and Gerard started laughing all of a sudden, as much as I did.
- I-I was just k-kidding! – Gerard stammered, due to his laugh; I went to hug Frank tightly, which he sweetly gave back. Then, Gerard stopped laughing and looked at the clock. – Well, I’d love to discuss this fucking topic with you both a lot more, but we’re fifteen minutes later to the sound check! – Gerard spat, and the three of us started running like maniacs through the hotel, until we made it out of the building; once standing there, we couldn’t lust to wait for a cab to appear and take us to the place where the sound check would be, so, we just sprinted there, the more we could. I actually got to lead both of them, asking some directions every now and then, and, in probably ten minutes, we got there, totally worn out; how were we supposed to sing and play like that? Anyway, we had to do it, hadn’t we?
- Good thing for me that your sound check is first – I told both Gerard and Frank, smiling and grabbing a bottle of water from the side of the stage.
- How sweet – they both told me, in a choir kind of thing that I laughed, after drinking my water. It was good we’d go change clothes before the show, otherwise, we’d step the stage all sweaty and bed smelling.
- What the fuck?! What took you so long? – Ray asked, looking worried and a bit angry at us.
- Well, first the fact that I caught them in more physical shit, and then the fact that we had to run all the way here – Gerard stated, after dripping a whole bottle of water down his throat.
- You ran over there? Gee, you had your car at the hotel, remember? – Ray told us, in a mocking tone; both me and Frank snapped our heads at Gee, who had his eyes wide open.
- I can’t fucking believe it, Gee – Frank said, annoyed.
- GERARD! I never ran so fucking much in my whole life, and it was all a pointless shit? I’m gonna kill you – I told him, rather angrily, and he stepped back, obviously scared. Lucky he was that Frank grabbed me.
- Calm-calm the fuck down, Brit. Sorry about that, I never remembered that I had my fucking car there, sorry! – Gee said, raising his hands, in a peace offer. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
- Just get on that fucking stage, and do the damn sound check. I’ll just forget this ever happened – I said, getting calm; I then turned around to face Frank, grabbed his neck, and kissed him passionately. – Go to the stage, baby. Love you.
- Love you, Tany-pie – he answered back, peeking on my lips one last time, and then getting up on stage.
I looked around, and spotted the rest of my band in front of the stage, watching the guys as they started to do the sound check. I went to meet them, and they all had smirks on their faces.
- Hi guys – I told them, smiling widely.
- Hey, Brit – they all said.
- So, have you had fun? – Sam asked, a dirty look hanging on his eyes.
- If it wasn’t for Gerard screaming as soon as he got into the room, it would’ve been quite a good time – I confessed, sighing while I sat next to them.
- He caught you while you were…? – Chris asked me, repressing a giggle.
- No! We were just kissing… and the next thing we know, we’re talking about Gee’s sexual orientation, and then running here, when he fucking had his car at the entrance of the fucking hotel! – I said, still a bit angry at Gee; who would’ve forget that their car was at the entrance of the hotel they were staying at? Only Gerard, that’s for sure.
- What about Gee’s sexual orientation? – Jenna asked, looking straight in my eyes, curiously.
- Don’t even look at me like that; it’s his business, not mine – I told them, crossing my arms on my chest.
- I think it’s fair enough – Chris agreed, turning his gaze to the stage again.
I looked at him for a while, analyzing his body language, but didn’t precept anything from it; he was as normal as ever. I guess I was trying to see if he liked Gerard, and, apparently, he didn’t; not in the way me and Gerard wanted, anyway; but I couldn’t tell Gee that right away, or he’d give up on him, and I was pretty damn sure he could conquer his heart.
- Anyway, the main point is that I’m going to kill Gerard soon, very slowly, ‘cause we ran all the way here, and, trust me, is not so short, and that fucker had his car over there! – I spat, nervous; Chris looked at me, with a look between horror and surprise hanging on his eyes, as he saw me bit my lip to control myself. – Well, in fact, I won’t kill him ‘cause I actually think he’s a cool guy, but I shall kill other kid first – I said, now looking straight at Chris, whom just turned his eyes away, since he knew pretty well who I was talking about.
- Yeah, we’ll help you with that, though – Sam said, harshly, and I looked at him, a bit surprised. – That motherfucking Wyatt… - he started, but as soon as Chris looked at him, he stopped. – Sorry, Chris, but that bastard is going to die for what he did to you.
- Indeed – Jenna said, and I looked back at the stage, just in time to catch Frank look over to me, while playing “Summertime”; oh, fuck, I really love that guy!
- Let’s just forget about this – I said, and Chris looked at me, thankfully; well, he shouldn’t throw the firework before the party. – For now.
The four of us shat up, and amused ourselves watching the guys play their songs, and I found really amusing when Gerard was singing “Destroya” and just started with the “Check, Check!” thing. I heard someone giggle when he started moaning on stage, but I didn’t dare to look at my band mates to see if had been any of them; I really didn’t wanna know that.
Quite after they were done, we got on stage, and began to do our sound check as well; it wasn’t that out of normal, although all of us felt suddenly nervous about all this. We were giving our very first concert, and there’d be, like, thousands of people there to see us. I was happy that we had gotten to play here, in London, firstly, though; this way, I’d finally be able to see my beloved friend again.
I mean, yeah, I lived in the United Kingdom as well as her, but I lived in Wetherby, in between Leeds and York. I loved my small town, and I surely found funny the name of the street I used to live in, compared to which band I was touring with. They were down there, just looking at us and smiling, while listening to our songs, and, as soon as we finished the song we were playing, I couldn’t help but laugh.
- What’s up, baby? – Frank asked, from down there, and I smiled at him; then, I turned to my band mates, who’d surely get my joke.
- You remember the street we used to live in? – I asked, onto the microphone as well; they started laughing at me, and I turned to My Chemical Romance, again, who stared at us with confused faces. – It was called McBride Way! – I said, and burst out laughing again; the guys from MCR did as well, and the eight of us kept laughing for a while.
Good thing the sound check was over; I really could use some rest, after running like a maniac because of Gerard. I got off the stage, Frank grabbing me right away, kissing my lips quickly.
- Guys, just get a room! – Mikey said, smirking at us, and I lifted one eyebrow at him.
- Mikey, don’t get jealous, okay? – I told him, and he laughed, then frowning because of the pain on his eye and on his nose. – Do you feel any better? – I asked, kinda worried.
- Yep, a tiny bit; don’t worry though. The only thing that this – he said, pointing to his face – should worry you, or me, about, is what the fans will think. They’ll either think that I went into a fight with Gerard, or with Alicia – he said, laughing as he rolled his eyes.
- Don’t concern about that, young man – I told him, all of a sudden acting like a fucking middle-aged cowboy, or something. – I’ll tell them the truth, aye.
Mikey laughed at me, and Frank just looked at me in a weird way; between funny and admiration.
- Okay, I shall thank you then, young lady – Mikey said, and then going backstage.
- You’re getting along pretty well, aren’t you? I mean, you have this relationship with me, Gerard confesses you things, already, and you and Mikey just joke with each other, which is hard to see; I just haven’t seen you with Ray that much, but we have a whole fucking year to get that out, haven’t we? – Frank asked, kissing my neck as he leant his head onto my shoulder; at one thing, at least, he was right: I was getting along pretty well.