Have You Ever Really Danced On the Edge?

Vic is pressing against me while in the background, people start arriving at our barbecue. Usually our parties entail just the crew – Pierce the Veil, Taylor, and me – but not this time. Vic had other friends he wanted to introduce me to.

As of right now, nothing was being introduced but lust and heavy breathing.

“Vic…” I struggle to force words out as he presses our bodies together, lips sucking on my neck. We’re standing in his bedroom. “I hear people out there, we should…”

But he cuts me off with his lips. His hands are everywhere, leaving hot trails where they wandered.

“Vic, come on,” I say when his lips find my collarbone. My back is starting to hurt from the pressure in which Vic is pressing me into the wall.

“Why are you always so good at controlling yourself?” Vic suddenly asks. I bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Because whenever I’m kissing you, I never want to stop. And when you ask me to stop, I feel like killing you.”

I laugh, “Thanks for being so honest? I love kissing you Vic – ” With that, he pecks me quickly – “But my duty calls me. You were the one who wanted to introduce me to your other friends!”

Vic groans playfully. “Ah, you’re right, you’re right! Fine! But is it okay if I stay over tonight?” He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh again.

It’s only been 24 hours since we decided we’d be together, but for Vic, everything was very physical. It was almost overwhelming in a sense, although I appreciated his display of affections. Even so, it was making the whole Vic/Brandon situation weigh a little heavier on my shoulders – something I wasn’t comfortable with.

Now Vic wanted to stay overnight! Did that mean we would cuddle? Touch each other? Have sex? Brandon, even being Brandon and obviously a pig, never ever pressured me into any physical bits – just lied to his bros about it. Which, I was okay with, I guess. As long as he wasn’t making me do anything, I was okay. Who cared if his friends thought we did things? I didn’t care about them anyway.

The thing about Vic was that he was so damn passionate! Usually a trait I was proud to admit, but now I wasn’t so sure. I was starting to think that being together with Vic had more strings attached than I had originally thought. I was so easily persuaded into giving him a chance that I myself didn’t think how I’d feel about it later on.

Peer pressure: Don’t do it, kids!

Vic kisses my earlobe one more time, unaware of my inner musings. “So?” He teases me, knowing I would cave.

“Of course you can,” I give, smiling up at him. He smiles back and pecks me again. I kiss the corner of his mouth and he groans. “What?” I ask.

He steps a safe distance away before answering, “If you kiss me one more time, I swear to God we won’t ever leave this room.” My eyes widen subconsciously and Vic just laughs.

He grabs my hand, “Let’s go.”

When we step into the room, I hear several calls for Vic. The boldest of these people steps up to catch Vic’s hand into a man-hug. They pat each other’s back and separate.

“Yo man! What’s up?” The boy asks; he has brown hair and tired-looking brown eyes. His face is skinny and if I looked closely, occasionally gaunt-like. He looks a few years younger than Vic and he’s a little bit taller.

Vic grins, I could tell they were very good friends. “Adam! Hey man, not much. Glad to be home. Just writing some new music, so we’ve been stoked on that. Are you going to make it to Warped?”

“I was planning on it. I’m in the process of convincing Jeremy McKinnon to let me hop on their ride.”

They continue to talk about Warped Tour as I stand there and study the boys. Suddenly, Vic turns to me.

“Adam, this is my girlfriend, Anna Morrison. Anna, this is my good friend, Adam Elmakias. He’s a photographer, he’s shot a lot of my boys and A Day to Remember.”

I blush at his word choice – girlfriend? Last time I checked, I was not his girlfriend. But I try to brush it off and smile at Adam. “Hi Adam,” we shake hands and he grins about me. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Anna.” He turns back to Vic. “It was nice talking man, good luck with everything. Let me know when you’re touring next. I will definitely try to be there!”

“For sure,” Vic starts, “Thanks man. Your shots are awesome. Best of luck to you.” Adam walks away so Vic puts his arm around me. “Not so bad huh, love?”

I shake out of Vic’s grip. His arm flops to his side. He shoots me a look, “Vic, you called me your girlfriend.”

“You’re mad because I called you my girlfriend?” Vic deadpans.

I shake my head, “No, but it makes me uncomfortable. We recently discussed this -”

“Hi, Vic. I think you need to introduce me to a special someone,” a kind voice interrupts. Vic looks at me pointedly before turning. As I turn to see who spoke, a ton of bricks hit me.

This girl is gorgeous. Absolutely and completely gorgeous, with her cute button nose and long white hair. Her eyes were hazel and she had a piercing below her lip. She smiled and she had straight teeth.

I felt my stomach drop onto the ground beneath my feet. She was just the girl Vic would be into. Not me, silly little old me. I was average – she looked “punk rock” and untouchable. Envy burns at my fingers as they embrace. I try to observe if she tries to hold on to him longer than a few seconds but she doesn’t. They step out of the embrace like nothing.

Finally, Vic speaks, “Hey! Yeah, meet my girlfriend, Anna. She’s the best.” He leans down to kiss my nose and I squeak.

“Hi,” I say, intimidated by her beauty. “I’m Anna.” She extends her hand and I think briefly about strangling her. Her nails are painted leopard print. My next thought is about going to the local beauty store to find some leopard print nail polish. I am pathetic.

“I’m Stephanie, Tony’s girlfriend!” She gushes, and squeezes my hand tighter.

Oh god. I look away to hide my embarrassment. Not a potential competitor, Anna, calm down! “Stephanie!” I say and try to make my voice sound really excited. “I’ve heard so much about you! It’s so nice to finally meet you. I hear your favorite princess is Ariel, I approve.”

We chitchat for a while and I realize Stephanie is super adorable and we need to become friends ASAP.

Vic and I had made our rounds at the party, and I met a lot of different people. Most of their faces were blurs of tattoos, long hair, and beanies. But they were nice enough. I had counted how many times Vic called me his girlfriend, his love, his girl: 54.

He wouldn’t stop gushing and I wouldn’t stop feeling uncomfortable. I do like Vic… but I didn’t want this to happen. In all honestly, sometimes I would think about Brandon and relive some of our best memories. It’s been two days since we broke up.

Two days and another boy is already calling me his girlfriend. Two days and I was supposed to okay with that. Two days and I had moved on? False. Something was wrong with this picture.

We shut the door as the last guest leaves. Vic turns to me. “Finally, alone time.”

I step back, putting a safe distance between us. “No, Vic. I’m not your girlfriend. I love to spend time with you, but I am not girlfriend. I can’t handle that right now.”

Vic groans, remembering our short fight before I met Stephanie. “Anna, that was just a formal way of introducing you. What did you want me to say? ‘Hi guys, this is my friend-who-likes-me-a lot-but-won’t-be-my-girlfriend?’”

I find myself getting angry at his lack of sympathy. “You could have just introduced me and let them draw their own conclusions! I thought we had an understanding that we weren’t going to be officially together for a while still. It’s been two days!”

“Two days too long!” Vic shouted back. “Would you like me to apologize for caring?”

I scoff at his words. “No! Because you obviously don’t care at all!”

“You’re like a child!”

I rear back, I didn't want to throw around insults. It was too late and I was tired. “Leave. Now.”

Vic blinks at me, “Okay. Fine. Sorry for introducing you as my girlfriend, sorry for wanting to be with you, sorry for even trying.”

He stomped out and I felt hot tears coming as I stared at his back. Our relationship was starting to resemble Brandon’s and my relationship. It was like we were too close or too distant. And I didn’t think I could handle another fight.